{"id":1251,"date":"2022-08-17T18:02:15","date_gmt":"2022-08-17T18:02:15","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mysecretlife.org\/?page_id=1251"},"modified":"2022-09-05T15:49:42","modified_gmt":"2022-09-05T15:49:42","slug":"volume-one-chapter-eleven","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/mysecretlife.org\/?page_id=1251","title":{"rendered":"Volume One Chapter Eleven"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-page\" data-elementor-id=\"1251\" class=\"elementor elementor-1251\" data-elementor-settings=\"[]\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-section-wrap\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-a34fd28 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"a34fd28\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-50 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-645c08a\" data-id=\"645c08a\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-a918885 elementor-widget elementor-widget-html\" data-id=\"a918885\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"html.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/embed\/album\/4m9euSRBvrsLSGxqGVoK5d\" width=\"300\" height=\"380\" frameborder=\"0\" allowtransparency=\"true\" allow=\"encrypted-media\"><\/iframe>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-50 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-e218964\" data-id=\"e218964\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-08834be elementor-widget elementor-widget-html\" data-id=\"08834be\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"html.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/embed\/album\/3LBuVlLFF2VxoHzoufqfN2\" width=\"300\" height=\"380\" frameborder=\"0\" allowtransparency=\"true\" allow=\"encrypted-media\"><\/iframe>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-0b19627 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"0b19627\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-43a24ab\" data-id=\"43a24ab\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-e98c814 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"e98c814\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div id=\"content\" class=\"site-content\" style=\"box-sizing: inherit;\"><div class=\"ast-container\" style=\"box-sizing: inherit;\"><div id=\"primary\" class=\"content-area primary\" style=\"box-sizing: inherit; width: 1083px;\"><main id=\"main\" class=\"site-main\" style=\"box-sizing: inherit;\"><article id=\"post-2346\" class=\"post-2346 page type-page status-publish ast-article-single\" style=\"box-sizing: inherit;\"><div class=\"entry-content clear\" style=\"box-sizing: inherit;\"><div class=\"elementor elementor-2346\" style=\"box-sizing: inherit;\" data-elementor-type=\"wp-page\" data-elementor-id=\"2346\" data-elementor-settings=\"[]\"><div class=\"elementor-section-wrap\"><section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-56e0e42 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"56e0e42\" data-element_type=\"section\"><div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\"><div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-2495cde\" style=\"width: 1083px;\" data-id=\"2495cde\" data-element_type=\"column\"><div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\" style=\"width: 1083px;\"><div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-8a6bed4 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" style=\"width: 1063px; text-align: center; color: #4d0d0d; font-family: Georgia, sans-serif;\" data-id=\"8a6bed4\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\"><div class=\"elementor-widget-container\"><div class=\"page\" title=\"Page 193\"><div class=\"layoutArea\"><div class=\"column\"><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">VOLUME 1 CHAPTER 11<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\"><i>Charwoman and daughter \u2022 At a key-hole \u2022 Cutting corns \u2022 A shower and a barn \u2022 A fat rumped Devonian \u2022 Suggestive pictures \u2022 A bum-hole offered \u2022 Erotic madness \u2022 Remorse.<\/i><\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">We could not get servants for some time. A middle-aged charwoman came to assist, and one of her daughters came from time to time, stopping generally the night. Their cottage was not far off, I had seen the girl from an infant, she was then about eighteen years old. I had often smiled when I met her, of course I smiled now. She was quite a slim little girl, there was nothing of her, but I was at an age when anything having a cunt attracted me.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">Profiting by experience, I now used key-holes; fortune favoured me, for, for some reason, instead of one large bed, two small ones were put into the servants\u2019 rooms; between them a wash-stand and a chair on each side of it were nearly opposite the key-hole. How I chuckled at this, for unless the key-hole was covered, I could see nearly all one bed and both chairs and wash-stand. I saw the old woman wash and use the pot, put on her stockings and other things; the other bed was a little out of range. I could not so often see the girl, but did at times.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">One evening the girl only stopped. So soon as I heard mother\u2019s door closed, out I went in my night-shirt, and through the key-hole saw the girl naked. She put the light on the floor, one leg on the chair, and with a small hand-glass looked at her quim, her bum was towards me. Not satisfied she turned round, sat down facing me, putting the candle on the floor and with legs as wide open as she could went on with her investigation. I had a reasonably good look at her, and her cunt. As said, she, was nothing to look at, but I got in a fearfully excited state and made some noise at the door which alarmed her, for up she got and stood still listening. I went to my room, looking through the half-closed door, hers opened and out came her head. I nodded and back she went.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">The next day she was going home, and as I now (although having rows with mother about it) went out when I liked, just before she left I went out and walked. It was dark. In two or three minutes out she came. After walking by her side for a time I asked her point blank how she liked the\u00a0<span style=\"font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit;\">look of it last night. \u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d I told her all I had done. \u201cOh!\u201d she said with intense surprise, \u201cwhat a mean thing to do.\u201d I told her how one of our former servants used to look at me naked. After a minute she did not appear to be at all disconcerted at having been seen naked; from my description she could have had no doubt whatever that I had seen all, \u201cWhat did you look at your quim for?\u201d asked I. \u201cAll that\u2019s my business; what did you look at me for?\u201d \u201cTo see your cunt\u201d Being at a dark part of the road I began kissing her, and got my fingers on to her belly. She made no row, but crossed her legs; and small and seemingly weak as she was, succeeded in preventing me feeling. I was out with her an hour, kissing, coaxing, attempting; I got my fingers and hand over her bum and belly, but not on to her slit. At each failure she laughed and said, \u201cDone again.\u201d I swore I would some day. \u201cNo you won\u2019t, you\u2019re not the first that has tried,\u201d said she, and I went home without having felt her quiet properly.<\/span><\/p><\/div><\/div><\/div><div class=\"page\" title=\"Page 194\"><div class=\"layoutArea\"><div class=\"column\"><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">I attempted it the next day and at every opportunity in the house and out of it, till new servants came. She felt my prick, would look at it, squeeze the balls, talk about fucking and baudiness to any extent, tell me what she had seen and what she had heard about such matters. She at length scarcely resisted my feeling her bum, belly, and legs, yet I never got my finger on to her slit, so as to feel the moisture; for she closed her little legs and wriggled, or got away from me somehow. Once or twice when I got a little rough, she set up a squeal, and I desisted. I offered her money. She replied, \u201cNo thank you, I am not going to spoil my chance that way.\u201d Our conversation used to begin by my saying, \u201cHow is your duff?\u201d \u201cOh! nicely, thank you; how is your jock?\u201d \u201cAll right, and stiff, waiting for your duff.\u201d \u201cThen it will wait a long time,\u201d and so on. It always ending in my trying to feel her, and getting no further. At length they left, new servants coming.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">I frequently saw her afterwards, and always began the same game. My mother was told I had been seen talking to her, so after that I only spoke to her at dusk. Some time afterwards she married a gardener, and I occasionally saw her, but recognition came to a knowing nod and smile, which she always returned. Meanwhile I had got my fortune, as I shall tell, had no end of women, and had forgotten her when, walking across a field not far from our house, I overtook a short woman with a little child, and it was she. A shower came on, and we went into a barn, no one was\u00a0<span style=\"font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit;\">in it. She told me I was said to be a \u201cdreadful chap after the gals.\u201d \u2018You know all about that now,\u201d said I. \u201cYes,\u201d she replied with a grin, and gradually talking baudier, we went on, until in a few minutes I had laid her down and fucked her on the hay. \u201cI told you I would do it,\u201d said I. \u201d But you didn\u2019t when you said you would, now it won\u2019t matter.\u201d That was her notion. The rain continuing, she said she must go, whether wet or dry. Neither of us had an umbrella. She pulled her gown over her head, and saying, \u201cYou won\u2019t tell anyone, will you?\u201d took the child by the hand and was going, when my appetite came again. I pulled her back, and with little persuasion, again went up her. She enjoyed the fuck greatly. As I lay on the top of her we heard a bang, and the barn grew dark; a man was shutting the door. \u201cHello!\u201d said he, \u201cI didn\u2019t know any one was there; I hope I ain\u2019t disturbed you. We made no reply, but out we went \u201cYou will have a boy out of this,\u201d said I. \u201cI hope I shall,\u201d said she. That was the end of my adventure, for I never had her again, and she soon left the neighbourhood. It was her own little child that was with her.<\/span><\/p><\/div><\/div><\/div><div class=\"page\" title=\"Page 195\"><div class=\"layoutArea\"><div class=\"column\"><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">Though I have (as I shall in other cases) told all I had to do with her consecutively, yet between the time when she was in our house and the time of meeting her at the barn, three or four years must have elapsed; and didn\u2019t we talk baudy in the barn before I got into her. That may have warmed her up, yet I believe she wanted me, as soon as she found herself alone with me. Her little child witnessed the business.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">Just at this time or a little later, an adventure of a serious kind occurred to me. The streets leading out of the Waterloo Road were then occupied much by gay women. Some were absolutely full of them; they were mostly of a class to be had for a few shillings If they could not get more, but many a swell I have noticed lingering about there. My mother now took nearly all my money for my board, but with the little remaining I had a knock off occasionally. It was one of my pleasures to walk up these streets when dark and talk with the women at the windows, which were always open whatever the weather, unless some one was within engaged with the ladies.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">Each woman had generally but one room, but two or three used to sit together in the front room in their chemises. There was the bed, wash- stand, chamber-pot and all complete, Perhaps one lolled out of the window, showing her breasts, and if you gave such a one a shilling, she\u00a0<span style=\"font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit;\">would stoop so that you could see right down past her belly to her knees, and have a glimpse of her cunt-fringe. Sometimes one would pull up her garter, or another sit down and piddle, or pretend to do so, or have recourse to other exciting devices when men peeped in.<\/span><\/p><\/div><\/div><\/div><div class=\"page\" title=\"Page 196\"><div class=\"layoutArea\"><div class=\"column\"><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">I used to look in and long. Sometimes had a shilling peep and then bashfully asked for a feel of the cunt for it. I so often succeeded that, ever since when I wanted that amusement, have offered a shilling for a feel and met with but few refusals in any part of London, Sometimes it ended in a fuck. Once or twice to my astonishment they took mere trifles, and, as I think of it, there is wonderfully little difference between the woman you have for five shillings, and the one you pay five pounds, excepting in the silk, linen, and manners.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">One night I saw a woman with very fat breasts looking out of the window (I was, then fond of stout women); and, after talking a minute, asked her if she would let me feel her cunt for a shilling. \u201cYes,\u201d said she. In I went, down she shut the window, and in another minute I was groping her. She did not let me feel her long. I had not felt such a bum since Mary\u2019s (already told of), and it so wetted my appetite that I struck a bargain for a fuck. She was soon stripped, and all I now recollect about her is that her cunt was large and covered with hair of a brownish colour; that her eyes were dark; and that she seemed full twenty-five years of age. I fucked her on a sofa.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">When I had buttoned up, she produced a book full of baudy pictures, of which I then had seen but few; and I went a second time, to see the book rather than her. Looking over it, she pointed out to me, with a laugh, several pictures of men putting their pricks into women\u2019s arse-holes, and into the rumps of other men. Having never before seen such pictures, and having no idea of the operation, I felt modest and turned to others; but she so regularly, as we turned over the leaves, pointed out this class that my sense of shame gave way to curiosity; and, not believing, asked if it was possible to do it so. \u201cLord yes,\u201d said she.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">\u201cDoes it not hurt?\u201d said I. \u201cNot if properly done,\u2019 she replied, and went on to say it was delicious, some men thought; and she talked altogether in a very knowing way about it; told me how it was best to grease the hole first, then the prick, and to shove gently, and went on so that I said on a sudden, \u201cWhy, you have done it, i think.\u201d \u201cYes, but only with a\u00a0<span style=\"font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit;\">particular friend of mine who is very fond of it, and so am I; it is better than the other.\u201d<\/span><\/p><\/div><\/div><\/div><div class=\"page\" title=\"Page 197\"><div class=\"layoutArea\"><div class=\"column\"><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">I felt shocked, bewildered, and excited. The subject dropped, but she sat feeling me, slipping her finger under my balls, and pressing my arse-hole with her finger. I prepared to fuck. She suggested she should kneel with her buttocks towards me, so that she could feel my balls when my prick was up her. I assented, and her bum cheeks were presented to me. Excited by her conversation and her hints, I looked curiously at her large slit, and then at her bum-hole; I touched the latter, and she drove her bum back upon my finger with a laugh. I did not take her hint, but drove my prick into her quim and pushed in the regular fashion. Thinking of the pictures excited me, and without knowing what I said, I suddenly pulled it out, saying, \u201cLet me put it into the other.\u201d \u201cNot tonight,\u201d said she, \u201cput your thumb a little way in, your nail is quite short (she had noticed that I used to bite my thumb-nails short).\u201d I instantly did, the next moment spent, and dropped over her back, waiting for the last drop of sperm to rim off into her.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">Her hints, her pictures, of which she had actually scores, stirred my curiosity; her manner disgusted .no, yet my brain seemed affected. Is it possible, thought I, that a man\u2019s prick can go in there? \u2013 Impossible. And yet she says she has had it done to her, and my thumb went in easily enough. The more I thought and the more I reflected how a hard turd hurt me sometimes in passing it, the more I was puzzled about the intense pleasure which she said the operation gave. To solve my doubts (although I had determined not), I went to her again, and saw the pictures. She again talked about them, until, scarcely knowing what I was doing, \u2018\u201dWill you let me?\u201d I asked. \u201cYes, if you do what I tell you.\u201d I consented. \u201cDon\u2019t talk loud,\u201d said she, \u201cit will never do to let any one know what we are at.\u201d Our voices dropped to a whisper, whilst by her advice I pulled off trousers and drawers, and she stripped stark naked.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">Then she carefully greased my prick with pomatum, and put some on her arse-hole; it was the work of a minute, not a word was said. She then, stark naked, sat by the side of me on the sofa, began fondling and kissing me, took my hands in hers and rubbed my fingers on her clitoris, half frigged herself with my fingers, I let her do what she liked Then she turned round. \u201cPut it in,\u201d she said when her rump was towards me, \u201cthen\u00a0<span style=\"font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit;\">give me your hand, and don\u2019t push till I tell you.\u201d Her arse-hole was at the level of my prick as I stood by the side of the sofa, my machine was like a rod of iron, my brains seemed on fire, I felt I was going to do something wrong, dreaded it, yet determined to do it. \u201cPut it in, slowly,\u201d said she in a whisper. The hole opened, felt tight, but to my astonishment almost directly my whole prick was hidden in it without pain to me or any difficulty. \u201cGive me your hand.\u201d I did. Again she began frigging herself with my fingers. \u201cRub, rub, push gently,\u201d she said, and I tried, but was getting past myself. \u201cNow,\u201d said she with a spasmodic sort of half cry, half grunt. I felt my prick squeezed as in a vise, I shoved or rather scarcely began to do so when I discharged a week\u2019s reserve up her rectum. My brain whirled with excitement, whilst she, leaning over the pillows on the sofa, kept breathing hard and half snorting like a pig, still frigging herself with my fingers.<\/span><\/p><\/div><\/div><\/div><div class=\"page\" title=\"Page 198\"><div class=\"layoutArea\"><div class=\"column\"><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">As my senses returned, I could scarcely believe where my prick was; excitement still kept it stiff, but desire had left me. I pulled it out with an indescribable horror of myself.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">\u201cWasn\u2019t it delicious?\u201d said she. \u201cI like it, don\u2019t you? you may always do it so.\u201d What I replied I know not; I washed, dressed and got out of the house as soon as I could. When in the street, I was sick. I ran off, fearing some one would see me, got into a Hackney coach and drove in the wrong direction; then got out and went a round-about way home, fearing some one was following to upbraid or expose me. I scarcely slept that night for horror of myself, never went up the street again for years, and never passed its end without shuddering, have no recollection of having had pleasure, or of any sensation whatever; all was dread to me. And so ended that debauch; one I was deliberately led into by that woman, having never thought of such doings before as possible, or at all, as far as I can recollect.<\/p><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/section><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/article><\/main><\/div><\/div><\/div><footer id=\"colophon\" class=\"site-footer\" style=\"box-sizing: inherit; background-image: linear-gradient(to right, #191919, #191919), url('https:\/\/darklanternentertainment.b-cdn.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/1.My-Earliest-Recollections-of-Things-Sexual.jpg'); background-repeat: repeat; background-position: center center; background-size: auto; background-attachment: scroll;\"><div class=\"site-above-footer-wrap ast-builder-grid-row-container site-footer-focus-item ast-builder-grid-row-2-equal ast-builder-grid-row-tablet-2-equal ast-builder-grid-row-mobile-full ast-footer-row-stack ast-footer-row-tablet-stack ast-footer-row-mobile-stack\" style=\"box-sizing: inherit; width: 1083px; background-image: linear-gradient(to right, #eeeeee, #eeeeee), url('https:\/\/darklanternentertainment.b-cdn.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/1.My-Earliest-Recollections-of-Things-Sexual-1.jpg'); background-repeat: repeat; background-position: center center; background-size: auto; background-attachment: scroll; min-height: 60px; color: #222222; font-family: Sancreek, sans-serif;\" data-section=\"section-above-footer-builder\"><div class=\"ast-builder-grid-row-container-inner\" style=\"box-sizing: inherit;\"><div class=\"ast-builder-footer-grid-columns site-above-footer-inner-wrap ast-builder-grid-row\" style=\"box-sizing: inherit; grid-template-columns: repeat(2, 1fr); align-items: flex-start; max-width: 1200px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;\"><div class=\"site-footer-above-section-1 site-footer-section site-footer-section-1\" style=\"box-sizing: inherit; align-items: flex-start;\"><div class=\"footer-widget-area widget-area site-footer-focus-item\" style=\"box-sizing: inherit; width: 516.5px;\" data-section=\"section-footer-menu\">\u00a0<\/div><\/div><div class=\"site-footer-above-section-2 site-footer-section site-footer-section-2\" style=\"box-sizing: inherit; align-items: flex-start;\">\u00a0<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><div class=\"site-primary-footer-wrap ast-builder-grid-row-container site-footer-focus-item ast-builder-grid-row-full ast-builder-grid-row-tablet-full ast-builder-grid-row-mobile-full ast-footer-row-stack ast-footer-row-tablet-stack ast-footer-row-mobile-stack\" style=\"box-sizing: inherit; width: 1083px; background-image: linear-gradient(to right, #191919, #191919), url('https:\/\/darklanternentertainment.b-cdn.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/1.My-Earliest-Recollections-of-Things-Sexual-1.jpg'); background-repeat: repeat; background-position: center center; background-size: auto; background-attachment: scroll; color: #222222; font-family: Sancreek, sans-serif; background-color: #ffffff;\" data-section=\"section-primary-footer-builder\"><div class=\"ast-builder-grid-row-container-inner\" style=\"box-sizing: inherit;\"><div class=\"ast-builder-footer-grid-columns site-primary-footer-inner-wrap ast-builder-grid-row\" style=\"box-sizing: inherit;\"><div class=\"site-footer-primary-section-1 site-footer-section site-footer-section-1\" style=\"box-sizing: inherit;\"><div class=\"footer-widget-area widget-area site-footer-focus-item ast-footer-html-1\" style=\"box-sizing: inherit; width: 1083px; margin-bottom: 10px;\" data-section=\"section-fb-html-1\"><div class=\"ast-header-html inner-link-style-\" style=\"box-sizing: inherit;\"><div class=\"ast-builder-html-element\" style=\"box-sizing: inherit; text-align: center; color: #d3d3d3;\">\u00a0<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/footer>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>VOLUME 1 CHAPTER 11 Charwoman and daughter \u2022 At a key-hole \u2022 Cutting corns \u2022 A shower and a barn \u2022 A fat rumped Devonian \u2022 Suggestive pictures \u2022 A bum-hole offered \u2022 Erotic madness \u2022 Remorse. We could not get servants for some time. 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