{"id":1372,"date":"2022-08-18T17:33:52","date_gmt":"2022-08-18T17:33:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mysecretlife.org\/?page_id=1372"},"modified":"2022-09-11T13:53:12","modified_gmt":"2022-09-11T13:53:12","slug":"volume-three-chapter-fourteen","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/mysecretlife.org\/?page_id=1372","title":{"rendered":"Volume Three Chapter Fourteen"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-page\" data-elementor-id=\"1372\" class=\"elementor elementor-1372\" data-elementor-settings=\"[]\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-section-wrap\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-2a6d21b elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"2a6d21b\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-50 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-3662b7b\" data-id=\"3662b7b\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-319681e elementor-widget elementor-widget-html\" data-id=\"319681e\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"html.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/embed\/album\/0NsObG4EPXY40OLsPIYTyt\" width=\"300\" height=\"380\" frameborder=\"0\" allowtransparency=\"true\" allow=\"encrypted-media\"><\/iframe>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-50 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-f54e57d\" data-id=\"f54e57d\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-db88184 elementor-widget elementor-widget-html\" data-id=\"db88184\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"html.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/embed\/album\/21D6OVh3upb0BvZJaAmkOT\" width=\"300\" height=\"380\" frameborder=\"0\" allowtransparency=\"true\" allow=\"encrypted-media\"><\/iframe>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-a365a8c elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"a365a8c\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-bb07f58\" data-id=\"bb07f58\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-8df62d2 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"8df62d2\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div style=\"color: #601212; font-family: Georgia, sans-serif; text-align: center;\" title=\"Page 542\"><div><div><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\"><b>VOLUME 3 CHAPTER 14<\/b><\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">Poses plastiques. \u2022 Sarah departs. \u2022 My despair. \u2022 Hannah\u2019s comfort. \u2022 Foolscap and masturbation. \u2022 Cheap cunt. \u2022 A Mulatto. \u2022 The baudy house accounts. \u2022 Concerning Sarah. \u2022 The parlour. \u2022 The gay ladies there. \u2022 My virtue. \u2022 Louisa Fisher. \u2022 A show of legs. \u2022 The consequence on me. \u2022\u00a0<i>Effect on Mrs. X..i.<\/i><\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">I dined with Sarah repeatedly until her departure, she was now often in low spirits, and drank very freely of champagne; then would fuck with a passion and energy which did not seem natural to her, for by look and general manner one would have sworn she was even tempered, and without much passion, \u2014 had I not found that out by experience? One night soon after she had brought her children to me, she seemed wild with lust. What was the matter with me I don\u2019t know, but I had no desire for her, and could scarcely stiffen for the embrace; yet she was in ecstasies with me as I fucked her. \u201cDo it again\u201d, said she. \u201cI can\u2019t.\u201d \u201cYou must do it, \u2014 I\u2019ve not washed.\u201d \u201cI can\u2019t.\u201d \u201cYes, \u2014 yes. \u2014I\u2019m mad for you\u201d, said she, \u2014 and we kept on fucking till early the next morning. \u201cI am in the family way again I think\u201d, said she as she left, and if so will jump over Westminster Bridge.\u201d But she was not, and after that night she persuaded me not to spend in her, but to withdraw just as my emission took place. \u201cIt will spoil all my plans if I am in the family way\u201d, said she, \u201call I have done will be of no use if I cannot act.\u201d \u201cAct?\u201d \u201cYes, I am an actress.\u201d \u201cDoes not your husband spend in you?\u201d \u201cNo one has spent in me but you, since my miscarriage, \u2014 I won\u2019t let him, and he doesn\u2019t want me in the family way.\u201d<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">\u201cYou an actress !\u201d \u201cYes, \u2014 have you never seen me?\u201d \u201cNo.\u201d \u201cAre you sure?\u201d \u201cYes.\u201d \u201c<span style=\"font-weight: bold;\"><i>Did you ever see the Poses plastiques and Madame W. . .t. n?<\/i><\/span>\u201d \u201cYes, two or three years ago.\u201d \u201cWell I was one of her troupe.\u201d \u201cGod God !\u2014and what do you do now?\u201d \u201cNothing, \u2014 but we have a troupe going on the Continent, \u2014 I am the principal\u2014I am Madame W. .. t. n now.\u201d<\/p><\/div><\/div><\/div><div style=\"color: #601212; font-family: Georgia, sans-serif; text-align: center;\" title=\"Page 543\"><div><div><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">Then she told me she had in her youth been a model for artists, had sat to Etty and Frost, hers was the form which had been painted in many of their pictures, \u2014and then she would say no more.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">I grew sadder and sadder as the time came for her departure; so did she. She said I worried and unsettled her; she wondered sometimes if she were doing the best thing for herself and children or not. She was so frightened lest she should get in the family way, that as already said she made me withdraw before the critical moment, spending my sperm on her thighs or on the crisp hair of her motte. I got an idea into my head (a stupid one enough), that if she were to get in the family way by me she would stay in London; and one night after we had dined, and she had had pleasure in my groping, and as usual had said, \u201cNow don\u2019t do it in me\u201d, I plunged my prick up, and spent a full stream in her cunt. \u201cI hope to God that sperm\u2019s all up your womb\u201d, said I. Her own pleasure had so overcome her, that she could not move for a minute; then jumping up she washed herself with a sponge,- she recently had used one. I never had a spend in her again for months afterwards.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">Then for hours I used to look her over and over from head to foot, as if I wished to recollect every part of her person for ever afterwards: the roots of her hair, the ears, the way the hair grew on the nape of her neck; the way it grew on her cunt, and in her arm-pits, and every other part I used to look over as if searching for something; the only part of her which escaped my investigations was the bum-furrow, which was to me an uncomfortable part in all women, and in my wildest sexual ecstasies and aberrations I neither felt it nor saw it, and don\u2019t know whether the hole was round or square; red or brown.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">After she had told me she had sat as a model, she brought me a small oil- painting of herself made by an artist of some rank. She was proud of it, and so was her husband. I offered such a price for it, that placed as she was she could not resist, and I bought it. She gave me one day a photograph of herself; both had the characteristic opening of the lips well shown. It is only recently that I have destroyed these mementos of a dead affection.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">When I saw that nothing would keep her in England I did my best to help her enterprise, gave her money freely, paid for dresses, boots, travelling cloaks, children\u2019s dresses, and in brief for everything. During the nine\u00a0<span style=\"font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit;\">months I had known her she in fact ran me dry, and in debt. I spent upon her more than I could have lived on for four years at the rate I lived at just before I met her. But I was now in better circumstances than I had been for years, and the money was my own. As the time approached, I could neither sleep nor eat, and used to be at J.. .s Street hours before I knew she could come; would wait any time for her, treating Hannah and the ladies, and doing nothing but talk about Sarah. Sometimes I used to think about following her abroad. When she came to the house, I used to spend my time in crying, and she after telling me not to be foolish, would cry too. Then, \u201cOh ! let me see you naked.\u201d \u201cThere then.\u201d Then came kiss- es all over her body. \u201cOh ! now for God\u2019s sake don\u2019t spend in me.\u201d Then came a delicious fuck; then crying and moaning recommenced. She left a week at least before she had said she should, and did so to prevent me the pain of parting with her, \u2014 I must give her that credit. Hannah told me so.<\/span><\/p><\/div><\/div><\/div><div style=\"color: #601212; font-family: Georgia, sans-serif; text-align: center;\" title=\"Page 544\"><div><div><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">I had arranged to see her one morning, and was as usual there before my time. Hannah stepped out from the parlour. \u201cHas Sarah come?\u201d She beckoned me in-to the parlour. \u201cWhy they all sailed this morning, \u2014 my sister went to see them off, \u2014 did you not know?\u201d I staggered to the sofa dizzy, speechless, then senseless. When I came to myself Hannah was standing besides me with brandy and water and a spoon with which she was putting it into my mouth.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">\u201cDon\u2019t take on so\u201d, said she, \u201cdon\u2019t think any more about Sarah, \u2014 she is a fine woman, but there are lots as good, \u2014 I know a dozen, and any one would be glad to know a man like you, \u2014 have some brandy and water\u201d, \u2014 and she took a great gulp herself. \u201cThere now\u201d, said she bending over me. \u201cwould you like to see Mrs \u2014she who met you the other night in here with Sarah, \u2014 she has taken quite a fancy to you, \u2014don\u2019t cry. Sarah will come back, and if she don\u2019t you\u2019ll get another woman whom you will like as well. There is Mrs a splendid shaped woman who only sees one gentleman here, \u2014 she took quite a fancy to you, though she only saw you once.\u201d But I was desperate, and rushed out of the house. Where I went to, I don\u2019t even recollect, but went home at last very drunk, \u2014 an extraordinary occurrence for me.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">For some days I was prostrate in mind, and almost in body, but at length recovered sufficiently to attend a little to my affairs which had gone\u00a0<span style=\"font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit;\">altogether to the bad for a month, and had been going bad for many months. I resolutely set myself against going to J\u2026s Street, and would not have women; indeed scarcely knew where to lay my hand on a shilling, so necessity had perhaps as much to do with my virtue as anything else; but I was generally in a weak, low state of health, and really believe, though it seems to me almost in-credible now, that it was well nigh three weeks before I touched or saw a cunt after Sarah left.<\/span><\/p><\/div><\/div><\/div><div style=\"color: #601212; font-family: Georgia, sans-serif; text-align: center;\" title=\"Page 545\"><div><div><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">Then one Sunday I had erections all day long. After dinner lust drove me nearly mad; so I went to my room, took a clean sheet of white paper, and frigged myself over it. My prick only slightly subsided, I frigged again, and then as the paper lay before me covered with sperm-pools I cried, because it was not up my dear Sarah\u2019s vagina, laid my head on the table where the. paper lay, and sobbed with despair, jealousy, and regrets, for I thought some one would fuck her if I did not, that it would be her hateful husband whom she had helped to keep with my money.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">I may say here that on several occasions of my life I have frigged myself over a clean sheet of foolscap paper; it was mostly done for curiosity, to see what my sperm was like, whether it was as thin, or as thick, or as large in quantity as at the last time I previously had masturbated.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">I could not after that Sunday keep away from J\u2026s Street, and went there the next day. \u201cI don\u2019t expect she\u2019ll write to you\u201d, said Hannah, \u201ceven if she said she would, \u2014 what will be the use? \u2014 it will only make you miserable.\u201d But I felt sure she would, and kept away from women still for some time after that, \u2014 I was stumped for money among other reasons. Then I began to spend involuntarily in the night, which to me was more hateful than frigging myself; so one night I went out for a bit of cheap quim. Whether I saw Brighton Bessie or not I can\u2019t say, but I think I did, and did later on.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">I went first into the streets near a large well-known tavern at a spot where several big thoroughfares meet, and where there is a large traffic, and picked up my cheap women there. But the women, their chemises and petticoats, and their rooms shocked me more than they used, and kept me chaster than I otherwise might have been.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">One night I went home with a tall straight woman who would not take my fee. \u201cNo\u201d, said she, \u201cI\u2019ve got two nice little rooms of my own.\u201d If you\u00a0<span style=\"font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit;\">get a woman for five shillings you have to pay for the room besides, and ten shillings is only a small sum; so I went with her for ten shillings, and saw her at intervals for a few months.<\/span><\/p><\/div><\/div><\/div><div style=\"color: #601212; font-family: Georgia, sans-serif; text-align: center;\" title=\"Page 546\"><div><div><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">She was about five feet nine high, was not stout, was as straight as a lath, yet not thin, had very firm but quite small breasts, and a biggish burn. She had Mulatto blood in her veins she told me, and was brown skinned, had a large mouth and very thick lips, the Negro blood showed there plainly; her hair was dark, and so were her eyes; her cunt was a pouter: it was small, but the lips pouted out more thickly I think than those of any woman I ever yet saw, yet they were not flabby, but protruded largely like two halves of a sausage; the hair was black, short, and intensely crisp and curly; it felt like curled horse-hair. I used to think her a plain woman, one of the plainest, but she was a glorious fuckster; her cunt was tight inside, and yet so elastic as not to hurt or pinch (and I was at that time when just at spunking point as often said before tender-pricked). The hair of her head was coarse yet straight, her large mouth was filled with teeth of a splendid whiteness, and when she smiled she showed the whole set. It was seeing her large white teeth that first attracted me before I could distinguish any other feature of her face; you could see them at night right across a road, they were dazzling, and al-most made one forget the great thick-lipped orifice which opened to expose them. I have before told of women who attracted me by their teeth, and particularly of a Creole.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">This Mulatto as I called her, amused me with her lecherous postures; she was as lithe as a willow branch, and was willing to please. I was fond of making her kneel on the bed with bum towards me, and her legs nearly close together, and then the backward pout of her cunt was charming to me, so much so that I took to poking her dog fashion.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">One night when I was full of sperm I made her remain in the exact posture until all my spunk had run out of her cunt, and sat holding a candle towards her rump till I was satisfied with the sight; and more than once I kept her in that position, looking at the gruelly lips until I fucked her a second time.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">She had such a very remarkable steady walk that she scarcely seemed to move, she glided; her feet were so nicely carried forward, and her body so evenly balanced from her hips. In this respect she resembled a tall\u00a0<span style=\"font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit;\">dark woman named Fletcher, whom I knew quite recently. There must have been something in the arrangement of their thighs and hips which caused this. Women who are accustomed to carry heavy loads on their heads always walk straight, and never roll from side to side as most people more or less do; but I don\u2019t know that either of the women named had carried baskets on their heads, \u2014 I knew the walk of that class of women, having been born in the neighbour-hood where they worked.<\/span><\/p><\/div><\/div><\/div><div style=\"color: #601212; font-family: Georgia, sans-serif; text-align: center;\" title=\"Page 547\"><div><div><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">She I imagine had a liking for my doing it naked with her, for she was always suggesting that we should strip; but she could not bear my fucking her dog-fashion. When I stripped and got into her on her belly, she would twist her legs right into mine in quite a snaky fashion, and sometimes lift her legs up till her heels were almost up to my blade- bones. She also like a few others I have poked seemed to have the power of holding my prick in her cunt quite tightly after I had spent, \u2014 perhaps because she had not spent herself, for about her pleasures in the copulation I am not sure, though she always impressed me as being a hot-cunted one.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">After I had once been to J. . .s Street again I went more and more frequently. Hannah was always nearly screwed, \u2014 champagne or brandy pleased her best. When she was so, she would at times gradually let out much that she knew, \u2014 and this is what she let out one day.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">\u201cBah ! her husband indeed !\u2014she is not married, \u2014 he\u2019s got a wife besides, and Sarah knows it, \u2014 he\u2019s blackened his wife\u2019s eyes more than once when she has been annoying them; but that don\u2019t pay, for she is his lawful wife; so he allows her something, and it keeps her quiet, and she won\u2019t last long, for she is drunk from daybreak till night. Sarah\u2019s a real good one to keep the lazy beggar, \u2014 she keeps them all poor thing, ever since he could not get any engagement; there\u2019s she, and their children, and her sister, who lives with them, and then there is her old mother who she keeps, and his wife as well, \u2014 she has enough to do poor thing.\u201d This came out one day after Hannah had dined; I had brought her a bottle of specially fine brandy, and we were sitting in the parlour drinking it together mixed with water.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">I had long been getting into Hannah\u2019s good graces. I stood wine and brandy, was always respectful to her and the gay ladies I met in her parlour, and never used coarse, rude language to them, nor in speaking\u00a0<span style=\"font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit;\">of them or of ladies of their class. Hannah told me I was a great favourite with several of them, as indeed I found to be the case. I may say that all my life I never spoke disrespectfully to, or of gay ladies, so long as they behaved themselves; they have been mostly throughout my life, kind and true to me after their fashion, they gave me pleasure, and I treated them as if I was grateful for it.<\/span><\/p><\/div><\/div><\/div><div style=\"color: #601212; font-family: Georgia, sans-serif; text-align: center;\" title=\"Page 548\"><div><div><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">But I was moreover serviceable to Hannah. Once or twice as told she had brought me some figures to cast up, and when Sarah had left, she brought me others on various little scraps of paper. She asked me never to mention my having done so to her sister, and I did not. I became curious at finding the items were all in five shillings, seven and sixpence, ten and twenty shillings; at last it struck me what it was, and taxing her with it found it was the takings of the baudy house, she told me so with a laugh. She could not write herself.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">The takings were put on slips of paper by the servants, and by some process of her own which she could not explain, she got a rough sort of check on the servants to prevent them robbing her. She had to account to the real owner of the house, \u2014 and how she did it she alone knows. This is certain (she once admitted it), that from the takings she put a pound a day into her own pocket. Whether she robbed the owner to that extent, or whether it was her admitted share I never knew. She was well dressed, had excellent food, allowed her Guardsman money, her sister\u2019s husband money, and others too I rather think. But after she\u2019d taken her three or four hundred pounds a year, there was a splendid income handed over to some one. This house had but eight rooms, and two more closets to let out for fucking; they often took twenty pounds a day, and sometimes much more.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">I did this arithmetic pretty regularly, and she be-came my fast friend. She told me all about Sarah that she knew (what Sarah at a future day told me agreed with it), and much about the habits of other loose ladies which will be partially narrated in due time, and a good deal about baudy house management.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">And now more about Sarah\u2019s antecedents. A new species of entertainment had sprung into existence a few years before this time, called \u201cPoses Plastiques\u201d, in which men and women covered with silk fitting tightly to their naked limbs and made quite white, placed\u00a0<span style=\"font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit;\">themselves on stages in classical groups to the sound of music. Women and men of great physical beauty formed these groups, they were in fact actors of that class. Madame W. . .t.n known as a splendid model first got them up; her husband was a splendid man, Sarah was her niece, and also had a beautiful form which ran in the family; she was poor, and Madame W. . .t . n took her to live with them, and at seventeen years of age she appeared as Venus.<\/span><\/p><\/div><\/div><\/div><div style=\"color: #601212; font-family: Georgia, sans-serif; text-align: center;\" title=\"Page 549\"><div><div><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">At nineteen she had a child by Madame W. . .t . n\u2019s husband, at twenty a second. Madame found out the father, and kicked Sarah out. Mr. W.. .t . n then kicked Madame out, and went to live with Sarah, rows ensued, other companies of \u201cPoses Plastiques\u201d came into competition, the thing got overdone, he could not get his living; he knew a trade, but was I expect too lazy to work at it; so Sarah took to letting herself out as model, and that being poor pay, to letting out her cunt to get their bread; she had just began it when I first met her. They seem during a year or more to have parted with all their goods, before she took to showing her belly-parting for money.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">So beautiful a form of course succeeded, and for a time I became the principal milk-cow. Then a proposition was made to form a troupe to go to the Continent; there seemed to be a grand opening, and with Sarah\u2019s money (most of it got from me), the apparatus, costumes properties, and troupe were got together. Off they had gone. She and her husband were the exhibition-managers, speculators, and chief actors.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">Hannah made a mouth when I asked what sort of a man Mavis was. She did not think much of him, \u2014 why did he not work\u2014he had a trade? \u2014 no, because he was no longer able to get on as an actor, he preferred to let Sarah get the living for the whole of them. \u201cAh ! you\u2019ll see her back, mark my words, \u2014 they won\u2019t succeed, \u2014 and then what will take place? \u2014you\u2019ll see, \u2014 is she poor thing to work and do every-thing, that he may lay a bed, dress as a gentleman, and do nothing but take her out for a walk on a Sunday; she is as proud of his taking her out for a walk on a Sunday as if he kept her a carriage.\u201d After much reflexion I came to the conclusion that Sarah had only just turned harlot about the time I had first met her that she did it to keep her man and her family, and he got accustomed to his woman getting his living for him.<\/p><\/div><\/div><\/div><div style=\"color: #601212; font-family: Georgia, sans-serif; text-align: center;\" title=\"Page 550\"><div><div><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">I kept on calling at J\u2026s Street, always expecting to hear of Sarah. Hannah was glad to see me, for now I cast up her accounts weekly. I got acquainted with two or three ladies there who came at intervals to meet their friends. They were very nice women, none were ever to be seen in the streets, they had either their own acquaintances whom they met at J. . .s Street, or Hannah had introduced them to gentlemen there. They were not a bit like whores in dress, appearance or manner, and my acquaintance with them opened my mind to the fact, that there is a large amount of occult fucking going on with needy, middle-class women, whose mode of living and dressing, is a mystery to their friends, and who mingle with their own class of society without its being suspected. ; that their cunts are ever wetted by sperm which lawfully may not be put there.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">I began to stand wine when I met them, and was introduced as a friend of Miss Mavis who had gone abroad. I was I found well known by name and a character for kindness, and I expect also for being a fool. All the women were shy at first, Hannah\u2019s sister (the servant) I overheard telling Hannah that the ladies did not like my being in the parlour. Hannah at times would ask me to leave, as a lady wanted to come into the parlour and wait there, and so on. But gradually Hannah would say, \u201cWho is it? \u2014 oh ! she knows him\u201d, \u2014 or \u201cOh ! she won\u2019t mind, \u2014 let her come in.\u201d So by degrees I became intimate with these privately gay ladies, and several of them on more than one occasion joined their sweet bodies to mine in the game of under and over.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">I had never had a woman in the house since Sarah had gone; firstly because I did not then pay more for the girls than I did for the room alone at J. . .s Street, and because I feared if Sarah came back Hannah would tell her, \u2014 as if it would have mattered to Sarah in any way excepting that another woman would get the money she might have had. Still I had that stupid idea about the matter, and although I had longed for one or two of the other ladies, and although they had looked languishingly at me. I never had then pro-posed a private interview upstairs.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">One day Hannah said she had heard from Sarah who had asked after me. \u201cThey are (Sarah and the troupe) getting on well\u201d, said Hannah, \u201cif she says so I suppose they are, \u2014 but we shall see.\u201d Suddenly, \u201cHave you had\u00a0<span style=\"font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit;\">another woman since she left?\u201d The question startled me. \u201cNo.\u201d \u201cOh ! I don\u2019t believe it, \u2014if you haven\u2019t you\u2019re a nasty man.\u201d Then I confessed, and told her what I had done. \u201cWhy don\u2019t you have Mrs. Fisher?\u201d, said she. \u201cI\u2019m poor, and can\u2019t,-I\u2019m not going to do what I did with Sarah.\u201d \u201cLord she won\u2019t mind, \u2014 she\u2019d like you I know, \u2014 but don\u2019t say I said so, \u2014 she\u2019s got a lovely leg, \u2014 she\u2019s a fine woman, \u2014 nearly as fine made as Sarah Mavis, and she is taller, \u2014 she never gets it done at home.\u201d Hannah was unusually muddled with liquor that day, and let out; her sister was not there to check her with, \u201cNow then Hannah you\u2019d better shut up\u201d, \u2014 and Hannah described Mrs. Fisher\u2019s hidden charms till my cock stood.<\/span><\/p><\/div><\/div><\/div><div style=\"color: #601212; font-family: Georgia, sans-serif; text-align: center;\" title=\"Page 551\"><div><div><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">I would pass hours sketching from recollection Sarah Mavis\u2019 limbs and form, her bum and cunt being the most favourite subjects; then so randy that I did not know what to do with myself, I would rush out into the streets to prevent my frigging myself, \u2014 and erotic night-dreams were frequent.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">\u201cWhy don\u2019t you see Mrs. X.. i\u201d, said Hannah to me, \u201cshe likes you, and would come up any day if I wrote to her (I had supped two or three times with that lady), \u2014 I would not fret about Sarah, although she is a fine woman, \u2014 you let her see you have another woman, and she will come round if she comes back.\u201d But I did not for a time.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">One afternoon however being in the parlour, Mrs. X..i was there, a splendid woman about twenty-six years old. Also there was a young woman who had two children by a man with whom she was about to go abroad, and she was a lovely woman. The two ladies had just had a two o\u2019clock dinner with Hannah, I had just come from my Club after luncheon, and sent for champagne. All our talk got frisky, \u2014 all knew Sarah, my love. If I could get any one to talk with me about her, I was delighted, and began at it. Said the Mistress, \u201cWell she is a splendid- formed woman certainly, \u2014 splendid, but there are lots of others, \u2014 I\u2019ve got a good leg to my knee, so has Mrs. X.. i, and Mrs \u201d (meaning the other whose name I forget). \u201cShow us your leg,\u201d said one. \u201cThere\u201d, said Hannah pulling up her clothes, \u201cnow show yours.\u201d They all showed their limbs, one after another. \u201cYou might fancy you had Sarah\u2019s legs round your thighs, if you had Mrs. X\u2026 is there\u201d, said Hannah. I was nigh bursting for a fuck. Mrs. X\u2026i pulled her clothes up higher, and stood up\u00a0<span style=\"font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit;\">to show the leg better; the other ladies did the same. I felt my pleasure coming, and objecting to wet my shirt, began to unbutton. \u201cOh I can\u2019t bear it\u201d, I cried, \u201coh! my God I\u2019m coming\u201d, \u2014 and the instant my prick was free from my trowsers I spent copiously, the three women their petticoats still up nearly to their cunts, looking and laughing. I had not frigged, it was fullness, and the voluptuous delight at seeing the limbs of the three fine women which fetched me. \u201cThere is lots of stuff in him\u201d, said one. Ashamed of myself I begged their pardons, and sent for more wine. \u201cHe had better have given one of you ladies that good spunk\u201d, said the Mistress. I over-came my bashfulness, they laughed about what Sarah Mavis had missed, one professed to feel annoyed at my behaviour. \u201cOh ! you are damned modest\u201d, said Hannah.<\/span><\/p><\/div><\/div><\/div><div style=\"color: #601212; font-family: Georgia, sans-serif; text-align: center;\" title=\"Page 552\"><div><div><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">Mrs. X\u2026 i soon afterwards went upstairs into the bed-room to a gentleman she had come to meet. The Mistress said she should lay down, \u2014 she always did after her dinner, and slept for two hours, \u2014 she was fuddled, and indeed always was. The mother of the two children and I were alone; from the instant I had spent she had never taken her eyes off me, \u2014 never. I recollect the look of her dark eyes and their expression quite well. Hannah snored almost directly. \u201cLet us have a kiss\u201d, said the lady to me, \u201cI know you are fond of a well-formed woman\u201d, \u2014 and she pulled up her clothes a little. She was sitting on the sofa, my prick rose, I bolted the door, and we fucked whilst the Mistress kept snoring.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">Mrs. X\u2026i came down. \u201cWhat you here still? \u2014 what have you been doing?\u201d The mother replied, \u201cHe has been smoking, and talking about his dear Sarah.\u201d The woman was actually sitting at that very moment with a flood of my sperm up her cunt, for she had neither wiped, nor washed, nor pissed since I had fucked her. Then they talked about X. . . i\u2019s friend who was a clergyman. X\u2026i was the wife of a man who lived with her, but never had her (so she said) ; she hated him, he had clapped her once.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">The mother went out of the room, and came back, Hannah awoke, we had tea, I paid, it was my rule then to pay for everything for the ladies whenever I was in the baudy house parlour. I rose to go, shaking hands with the two ladies. The one whom I had em braced put a bit of paper privately into my hand. Out-side the house I read it. \u201cWait outside\u201d, it said. I had been delighted with her pleasure, and did so. She came out,\u00a0<span style=\"font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit;\">we walked quickly off. \u201cYou go to the top of the next street\u201d, said she, \u201cand I\u2019ll meet you\u201d,-and she went another way, and met me at the top. \u201cI did that in case X. . .i came out\u201d, said she, \u201clet us go and have dinner together.\u201d \u201cI have not enough money\u201d, said I. \u201cNever mind, I have.\u201d We went to the Cafe de P. .v\u2026e, and dined; I fucked her again and again on a sofa. She was a charming woman. As we sat on a little sofa dallying after dinner, she said she had not had it for a month, her friend had gone to Germany, where they were going to live, to make arrangements, he would return in a few days; then he, she, and the children were going to Germany with him. \u201cI liked you\u201d, said she, \u201cbut when I saw what you did before us this afternoon, I could scarcely stop myself, I wanted it so badly, \u2014 I dare say I\u2019m in the family way, \u2014oh! don\u2019t look, \u2014 it\u2019s full, \u2014 it\u2019s dirty, \u2014 you shan\u2019t.\u201d The next instant I was up her again; afterwards she washed, and I saw her cunt. I paid for the dinner partly, she the rest, \u2014 I had not a sixpence left. \u201cI\u2019m sorry\u201d, I said to her, \u201cthat I have no more money.\u201d \u201cI did not come here for money\u201d, said she. \u201cLet me leave you half a dozen pair of gloves at No. 11.\u201d \u201cNo, I\u2019ve lots of gloves.\u201d \u201cThen give me a kiss.\u201d She stood putting her tongue in my mouth for a minute, then giving me a hearty kiss off she went. I never saw her, nor had her again. Hannah told me she was in Germany, and very happy there.<\/span><\/p><\/div><\/div><\/div>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>VOLUME 3 CHAPTER 14 Poses plastiques. \u2022 Sarah departs. \u2022 My despair. \u2022 Hannah\u2019s comfort. \u2022 Foolscap and masturbation. \u2022 Cheap cunt. \u2022 A Mulatto. \u2022 The baudy house accounts. \u2022 Concerning Sarah. \u2022 The parlour. \u2022 The gay ladies there. \u2022 My virtue. \u2022 Louisa Fisher. \u2022 A show of legs. \u2022 The consequence &hellip;<\/p>\n<p class=\"read-more\"> <a class=\"\" href=\"https:\/\/mysecretlife.org\/?page_id=1372\"> <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Volume Three Chapter Fourteen<\/span> Read More &raquo;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-1372","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mysecretlife.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1372"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mysecretlife.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mysecretlife.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mysecretlife.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mysecretlife.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1372"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/mysecretlife.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1372\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2194,"href":"https:\/\/mysecretlife.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1372\/revisions\/2194"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mysecretlife.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1372"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}