{"id":1482,"date":"2022-08-21T17:09:21","date_gmt":"2022-08-21T17:09:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mysecretlife.org\/?page_id=1482"},"modified":"2022-09-13T17:06:48","modified_gmt":"2022-09-13T17:06:48","slug":"volume-four-chapter-three","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/mysecretlife.org\/?page_id=1482","title":{"rendered":"Volume Four Chapter Three"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-page\" data-elementor-id=\"1482\" class=\"elementor elementor-1482\" data-elementor-settings=\"[]\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-section-wrap\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-6dad901 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"6dad901\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-50 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-754c8b7\" data-id=\"754c8b7\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-d5016d0 elementor-widget elementor-widget-html\" data-id=\"d5016d0\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"html.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/embed\/album\/57ukd0vGfearNpQ9qNJkrV\" width=\"300\" height=\"380\" frameborder=\"0\" allowtransparency=\"true\" allow=\"encrypted-media\"><\/iframe>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-50 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-26c01a7\" data-id=\"26c01a7\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-d944869 elementor-widget elementor-widget-html\" data-id=\"d944869\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"html.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/embed\/album\/6TRV6AoJ8Cfhzp11lau0Fn\" width=\"300\" height=\"380\" frameborder=\"0\" allowtransparency=\"true\" allow=\"encrypted-media\"><\/iframe>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-f194fe7 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"f194fe7\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-9187241\" data-id=\"9187241\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-20d9ec8 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"20d9ec8\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div style=\"color: #711818; font-family: Georgia, sans-serif; text-align: center;\" title=\"Page 655\"><div><div><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\"><b>VOLUME 4 CHAPTER 3<\/b><\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">A sailor, a whore, and a garden-wall. \u2022 The newly-made road. \u2022 Windy and rainy. \u2022 Bargaining overheard. \u2022 Offer to pay. \u2022 Against a garden-wall. \u2022\u00a0<i>A feel from behind. \u2022 A wet handful. \u2022 Blind lust. \u2022 Into the sperm. \u2022 The policeman. \u2022 A lost umbrella. \u2022 A new sort of washing-basin. \u2022 Fears of ailment.<\/i><\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">Amidst all this saturnalia of cunt, I don\u2019t believe I ever did anything with one, excepting to feel and fuck it, though in attitudes varied. Recherche\u0301 erotic pleasures were not in my custom, and not even in my thoughts. Amusements with a man would have shocked me, had they been suggested. His spunk would have up-set my stomach to look at. To put into a cunt which an-other man had just quitted, would have revolted me; yet I was doomed to do all this, unpremeditatedly, on the spur of the moment and opportunity.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">I lived then on the western outskirts of London where they were building on what had been and were still largely pleasant fields. About five minutes\u2019 walk from my house was a street made not five years before, and leading out from it a new road, a sixth of a mile long, connecting two main roads, and made to enable the fields on either side to be built upon. There were gas-lights at long intervals, just enough to encourage people to use it at night. The carriage and foot-ways were of coarse gravel, and quite newly made.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">Under wheel and foot these roads crunched as people went across them. At one end of the road was a new row of houses, the garden back-walls of which abutted on the open fields, and the side-walls of two formed the entrance to the road, \u2014 both houses just then were empty.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">It was about eleven o\u2019clock at night, windy and rainy at intervals, and there was a small moon hidden by thick clouds scudding across it. Sometimes there was a gleam of light, at other times all was dark. It was very windy as I came through the road for a short cut, after thinking whether it was safe or not, and just then I met a policeman at the further end, and bid him good night. The crunching of my footsteps on the newly-laid gravel annoyed me, both by its fatigue and noise, so I stepped on to the meadow-land which lay alongside it, and walked quite quietly.<\/p><\/div><\/div><\/div><div style=\"color: #711818; font-family: Georgia, sans-serif; text-align: center;\" title=\"Page 656\"><div><div><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">As I neared the street into which it led, I could distinguish what looked like a man and woman standing on the footpath close up against the garden side-wall of the empty house, and well away from lamps. Thought I, \u201cThey are fucking or finger-stinking,\u201d so walked further from the footpath to pre-vent noise, and more slowly to see the fun. It excited me lewedly, for I wanted a woman.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">As I got near them I was under cover of the back garden-walls. The idea of catching a couple fucking made me more randy. \u201cI won\u2019t, unless you give me the money first,\u201d said a female voice. I stopped, but heard no male reply. \u201cI shan\u2019t then, \u2014 what have you got?\u201d the shrill voice said. No audible reply, but I saw a struggle as if a man was trying to lift a woman\u2019s clothes, and heard a laugh. Then I stepped on to the path, and walked on. \u201cI shan\u2019t then, \u2014 if you have no money what did you come here for?\u201d came clearly on my ear, though said in a somewhat lower tone. Just as I came to the angle of the wall I saw plainly a fair-sized woman with her back against the wall and a shortish man in front of her, pulling her about as if he was trying to feel her, or lift her clothes. The amatory scuffling prevented them noticing my approach. The woman said as I neared them, \u201cI won\u2019t without the money,\u201d \u2014 and then was a hush as I walked on.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">What then occurred exactly I can\u2019t recollect, but I said as I was close to them, \u201cLet him have you, and I\u2019ll give you five shillings.\u201d \u201cAll right, \u2014 give it here then,\u201d said the woman, I stopped, and saw by the small light of the distant lamps that the man had the cap and open collar of a sailor. A desire sprung up quicker than I write this, and what I meant for a baudy joke became the reality of action, \u2014 I followed my impulse without thought of consequences.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">\u201cI\u2019ll give you five shillings if you let me see you do it.\u201d \u201cAll right,\u201d said she \u2014 and to him, \u201cWill you?\u201d \u201cI\u2019m right for a bloody spree,\u201d said a male voice al-most inarticulate either from drink or cold. \u201cGive me the money first.\u201d \u201cCertainly, if you let him do it.\u201d \u201cCome round the back of the gardens,\u201d said the woman, walking off with the man to the rear, and well out of the line of road, I following. We stopped. \u201cGive me the money.\u201d \u201cWon\u2019t the policeman catch us?\u201d \u201cHe won\u2019t be back for half an hour,\u201d said the woman, \u201che has just passed.\u201d I knew he had, having met him. We were now away from the lamps, it was dark. \u201cLet\u2019s feel your cunt,\u201d\u00a0<span style=\"font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit;\">said I getting into reckless baudiness. The man close to us kept chuckling to himself, and I thought staggering, but was not sure. He closed on the girl as I did. \u201cLet me feel your cunt,\u201d said I.<\/span><\/p><\/div><\/div><\/div><div style=\"color: #711818; font-family: Georgia, sans-serif; text-align: center;\" title=\"Page 657\"><div><div><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">The girl lifted her petticoats, her back against a wall; I put my hand between her thighs, and met the man\u2019s hand on the same errand, \u2014 we were both trying at the same spot. \u201cBloody spree,\u201d said a hoarse drunken voice. We both groped together. \u201cOne at a time,\u201d said she. I withdrew my hand, and it knocked against his prick, I laid hold of it, and believe to this day that the sailor thought it was the girl who was feeling it. I clutched it, and a strange delight crept through me as I drew my hand softly up and down his stiff stander which seemed longer than mine. \u201cHold hard you bugger,\u201d said he.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">Excited beyond all thought, I still clutched and glided it through my hand. \u201cWhere is your prick?\u201d said the girl. I felt her hand touching my hand. Letting his prick go, \u201cNo sham,\u201d said I. \u201cThere is no sham,\u201d said she, \u201cwhere is your money?\u201d I put my hand in my pocket feeling for the money, took it out, and gave it her. \u201cCome on,\u201d said she to the man. Instantly they were close together. \u201cBloody spree,\u201d I heard mumbled again. \u201cLift up yer clothes, I can\u2019t feel yer arse.\u201d I felt that her clothes were up. I put my umbrella against the wall, grasped a thigh with my left hand and my right went toward her quim, but was stopped by contact with the man\u2019s prick which was against her belly. \u201cI\u2019ll put it in,\u201d said she. The next instant the to-and-fro movement had begun. I felt the wriggle of her arse-cheeks which I held with my left hand, his hands were now round her arse above mine, and under her clothes. \u201cIt\u2019s out,\u201d said she, \u201cstop, I\u2019ll put it in again\u201d \u2014 and all was still. His prick had slipped out through his energy. The woman guided it up again, and the backside jogging recommenced. I know what she said, I guessed much what she did from what she said. The buttock movement there was no mistaking.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">It was too dark to see. I heard him breathing hard, and felt her thighs quivering and wriggling. Changing sides and stooping, I pushed one arm and hand right round her buttocks, between her thighs from behind, and under her cunt till my fingers passed her arse-hole, felt his prick, and grasped his balls. I doubt whether he knew it, for his pleasure was making him blow like a man who had run himself out of breath. I felt his prick-stem as he drew back, and that it was wet with the moisture of her\u00a0<span style=\"font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit;\">cunt. Then with hoarse muttering, of \u201cblood-prick spunk, bloody cunt,\u201d I felt him shove and wriggle hard, and then both were stationary and silent. I -kept my hand still groping under her cunt, and feeling his prick- stem from beneath, with my thumb and forefinger.<\/span><\/p><\/div><\/div><\/div><div style=\"color: #711818; font-family: Georgia, sans-serif; text-align: center;\" title=\"Page 658\"><div><div><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">He did not hurry himself to withdraw. \u201cYou\u2019ve done, \u2014 get away.\u201d \u201cLet\u2019s fuck agin,\u201d said he. \u201cYou shan\u2019t.\u201d As she spoke, his prick flopped out right on to my hand, wetting it. She moved away, the man swore. Mad now with lust, \u201cLet\u2019s feel your cunt,\u201d said I lifting her clothes. She let me. \u201cMy God what spunk, \u2014 how soft your cunt feels, \u2014 let him fuck you again, \u2014 I\u2019ll give you more money, \u2014 feel me, \u2014 frig me.\u201d<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">I don\u2019t recollect the girl speaking, but she seized my prick whilst I groped up her cunt with fingers saturated with sperm. No disgust now. For the moment I loved it. She stopped frigging. \u201cPut it in me, it\u2019s nicer.\u201d \u201cNo.\u201d \u201cOh! it\u2019s all right, \u2014 it\u2019s nice, \u2014 put it in.\u201d \u201cNo.\u201d \u201cDo, \u2014 I want a fuck.\u201d \u201cYou\u2019ve just been done.\u201d \u201cYou do it.\u201d I yielded, and putting my prick into her reeking cunt fucked her. \u201cOh! I\u2019m coming.\u201d \u201cSo am I.\u201d \u201cOh! \u2014 ah? \u2014 ah!\u201d I spent, and think she did, am not sure; but she shagged hard, and squeezed me up to her. The sailor had taken my place, and was looking on I suppose, standing with his back against the wall, mumbling something.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">As my pleasure subsided I could just see the man by the side of us working away, I suppose at his prick, with his fist like a steam engine, I felt the sperm oozing on to my apparatus, all around. \u201cLet\u2019s fuck yer agin,\u201d said the hoarse man\u2019s voice. \u201cI\u2019ll give you money to let him,\u201d said I. Out came my prick. \u201cAll right,\u201d said she, \u201clet me piddle first.\u201d \u201cWhere is your prick?\u201d I said, \u201cdoes it stand?\u201d \u201cBloody fine.\u201d I put my hand on it, and grasped it. A new desire and curiosity about a male organ came over me. The woman had pissed, and was standing up, she caught hold of my prick which was hanging out, whilst I had hold of his prick. Then I took out money, and gave all the silver I had, \u2014 I don\u2019t know how much.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">\u201cPut it into her,\u201d I said, frigging it; it was not stiff, and I was impatient to feel him fucking again. He turned to her front. \u201cLet go my prick,\u201d said he. The girl took it. \u201cIt\u2019s not stiff.\u201d \u201cBloody something,\u201d I heard him say. Again I heard the rustle of the frig and of her clothes lifted. \u201cYour cunt\u2019s bloody sloppy,\u201d said the husky voice, and he chuckled. \u201cMake haste,\u201d said the woman.<\/p><\/div><\/div><\/div><div style=\"color: #711818; font-family: Georgia, sans-serif; text-align: center;\" title=\"Page 659\"><div><div><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">\u201cOh! the policeman!\u201d Half-way down the road I saw the bull\u2019s-eye of the policeman\u2019s lantern. I was now standing feeling my own prick with excitement; but at the same instant a glimpse of moonlight came from between the heavy clouds, and showed me the man pressing his belly up against the woman, and her petticoats bunched up high. The policeman\u2019s bull\u2019s-eye far off was throwing light across the fields. \u201cThe police!\u201d I said. \u201cCome further along,\u201d said the woman dropping her clothes, and moving off still further into darkness, I moving off in the direction of the road. My lust went off, \u2014 what if the policeman saw and knew me! I got to the road, turned to the left along the crunching gravelled path, walking very quickly, and so soon as I turned the corner took to my heels, and ran hard home, ran as if I had committed a burglary.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">Letting myself in with my latch-key I found I had left my umbrella behind me. Then a dread came over me. I had fucked a common street nymph, and in the sperm of a common sailor, both might have a pox, \u2014 what more probable? I could feel the sperm wet and sticky round my prick, and on my balls. I had then taken to sleeping in my dressing-room. My wife I thought must have been, according to habit, an hour abed. On entering my room there sat she reading, which was a very unusual thing. I sat down wishing she would leave the room, for I wanted to wash and wondered what she would say if she saw me washing my prick at that time of night, or heard me splashing. But she didn\u2019t stir, so taking out the soap unobserved, \u201cI\u2019ve bad diarrhoea,\u201d I said, and down I went to the water-closet. Sitting there I washed my prick well in the pan, and went upstairs again. (How many times in my life has a sham ailment helped me? \u2014 how many times yet is it to do so?)<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">Fear of the pox kept me awake some time. Then the scene I had passed through excited me so violently, that my prick stood like steel. I could not dismiss it from my mind. I was violently in rut. I thought of frigging, but an irrepressible desire for cunt, cunt, and nothing but it, made me forget my fear, my dislike of my wife, our quarrel, and everything else, \u2014 and jumping out of bed I went into her room.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">\u201cI shan\u2019t let you, \u2014 what do you wake me for, and come to me in such a hurry after you have not been near me for a couple of months, \u2014 I shan\u2019t, \u2014 you shan\u2019t, \u2013 -I dare say you know where to go.\u201d<\/p><\/div><\/div><\/div><div style=\"color: #711818; font-family: Georgia, sans-serif; text-align: center;\" title=\"Page 660\"><div><div><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">But I jumped into bed, and forcing her on to her back, drove my prick up her. It must have been stiff, and I violent, for she cried out that I hurt her. \u201cDon\u2019t do it so hard, \u2014 what are you about!\u201d But I felt that I could murder her with my prick, and drove, and drove, and spent up her cursing. While I fucked her I hated her \u2014 she was but my spunk-emptier. \u201cGet off, you\u2019ve done it, \u2014 and your language is most revolting.\u201d Off I went into my bed-room for the night. What I said whilst furiously fucking her, thinking of the sailor\u2019s prick and the spermy quim of the nymph, and almost mad with excitement, I never knew. I dare say it was hot.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">For a fortnight I was in a state of anxiety, and twice went to a doctor to examine my prick, but I never took any ailment. I went early next day to see if my umbrella was in the fields, but it was gone, \u2014 I wonder who had it. I never saw the woman again that I know of, but had I seen her five minutes after the event I should not have known her, nor the sailor. He seemed to me a young man of about twenty, groggy and hoarse with cold, his prick seemed about the size of my own. She was a full-sized woman with a big arse, but flabby. Though I could not find my umbrella I saw the spot on which it had stuck into the wet turf; and the place where we had played, for a yard or two square was trodden into mud, whilst all around was green.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">After I had got over my fears I had a very peculiar feeling about the evening\u2019s amusement. There was a certain amount of disgust, yet a baudy titillation came shooting up my ballocks when I thought of his prick. I should have liked to have felt it longer, to have seen him fuck, to have frigged him till he spent. Then I felt annoyed with myself, and wondered at my thinking of that when I could not bear to be close to a man any-where, I who was drunk with the physical beauty of women. The affair gradually faded from my mind, but a few years after it revived. My imagination in such matters was then becoming more powerful, and giving me desire for variety in pleasures with the sex, and in a degree, with the sexes.<\/p><\/div><\/div><\/div>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>VOLUME 4 CHAPTER 3 A sailor, a whore, and a garden-wall. \u2022 The newly-made road. \u2022 Windy and rainy. \u2022 Bargaining overheard. \u2022 Offer to pay. \u2022 Against a garden-wall. \u2022\u00a0A feel from behind. \u2022 A wet handful. \u2022 Blind lust. \u2022 Into the sperm. \u2022 The policeman. \u2022 A lost umbrella. \u2022 A new &hellip;<\/p>\n<p class=\"read-more\"> <a class=\"\" href=\"https:\/\/mysecretlife.org\/?page_id=1482\"> <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Volume Four Chapter Three<\/span> Read More &raquo;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-1482","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mysecretlife.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1482"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mysecretlife.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mysecretlife.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mysecretlife.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mysecretlife.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1482"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/mysecretlife.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1482\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2316,"href":"https:\/\/mysecretlife.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1482\/revisions\/2316"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mysecretlife.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1482"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}