{"id":1553,"date":"2022-08-23T17:50:49","date_gmt":"2022-08-23T17:50:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mysecretlife.org\/?page_id=1553"},"modified":"2022-09-18T15:36:21","modified_gmt":"2022-09-18T15:36:21","slug":"volume-five-chapter-three","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/mysecretlife.org\/?page_id=1553","title":{"rendered":"Volume Five Chapter Three"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-page\" data-elementor-id=\"1553\" class=\"elementor elementor-1553\" data-elementor-settings=\"[]\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-section-wrap\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-c3fe7bb elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"c3fe7bb\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-50 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-cf4766c\" data-id=\"cf4766c\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-6a0b2b2 elementor-widget elementor-widget-html\" data-id=\"6a0b2b2\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"html.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/embed\/album\/2vUiG4XRCwqrmpGnlPJG07\" width=\"300\" height=\"380\" frameborder=\"0\" allowtransparency=\"true\" allow=\"encrypted-media\"><\/iframe>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-50 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-3599847\" data-id=\"3599847\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-e4fa4d7 elementor-widget elementor-widget-html\" data-id=\"e4fa4d7\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"html.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/embed\/album\/6j7RyVCTMS0e0TWlWydfgj\" width=\"300\" height=\"380\" frameborder=\"0\" allowtransparency=\"true\" allow=\"encrypted-media\"><\/iframe>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-8542b23 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"8542b23\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-f645ac6\" data-id=\"f645ac6\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-fe34fb1 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"fe34fb1\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div id=\"content\" class=\"site-content\">\n<div class=\"ast-container\">\n<div id=\"primary\" class=\"content-area primary\"><p><\/p><main id=\"main\" class=\"site-main\"><p><\/p>\n<article id=\"post-2848\" class=\"post-2848 page type-page status-publish ast-article-single\">\n<div class=\"entry-content clear\">\n<div class=\"elementor elementor-2848\" data-elementor-type=\"wp-page\" data-elementor-id=\"2848\" data-elementor-settings=\"[]\">\n<div class=\"elementor-section-wrap\">\n<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-00e2234 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"00e2234\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-4015fa4\" data-id=\"4015fa4\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-e018482 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"e018482\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n<div class=\"page\" title=\"Page 851\">\n<div class=\"layoutArea\">\n<div class=\"column\">\n<p><b>VOLUME 5 CHAPTER 3<\/b><\/p>\n<p><i>Explanations. \u2022 Reflexions, and observations about my-self. \u2022 My private establishment. \u2022 Easy circumstances. \u2022 My new house. \u2022 James the footman. \u2022 Lucy the parlour maid. \u2022 Love exercises in the dining room. \u2022 Two dismissals. \u2022 The cook and James. \u2022 Kitchen and housemaid. \u2022 A general turn-out. \u2022 Lucy\u2019s despair. \u2022 My kind intentions. \u2022 At her lodgings. \u2022 A dinner with her. \u2022 On the sofa. \u2022 On the notch. \u2022 Her confession. \u2022 At J***s St. \u2022 Her form and features. \u2022 Gamahuching intervals. \u2022 Frig precedent. \u2022 Fuck sequential. \u2022 Paradisiacal copulation. \u2022 Instructions in oral obscenity. \u2022 An exquisite cunt. \u2022 My gamahuching letch.<\/i><\/p>\n<p>[I have not looked through and corrected the foregoing manuscript. \u2014 The abbreviations may change the narrative but there is no help for it, if it is to be printed; yet but few incidents having any novelty have been erased, and the conversations with my women are just as I wrote them originally \u2014 the excisions excepted. \u2014 How delightfully the episodes come back to my memory as I read the manuscript. Incidents fading into forgetfulness come out quite freshly to me, and I almost seem to be living my youthful life over again. Would that I were going to do so, for it was a lovely time with women; and was only cursed by that one lasting, deep, irremediable error. [I am not sure about ages in one or two instances, nor the exact order of two or three of the more fugitive amours. I could perhaps set these quite right by reference to books now hidden and dusty, but it is not worth the trouble to do so. \u2014 None are of any real importance. I write for my pleasure alone, and if I print, shall print for my pleasure alone, so let the manuscript stand as it is paged.<\/p>\n<p>[I notice now in reading it, that some of my raciest adventures, those which being unsought, those which fell to my lot as it were by accident, and which tho brief were among the most voluptuous, occurred whilst I had other and more enduring liaisons on hand. Such was my weakness and fondness for the sex, that I never could keep faithfully to any one woman absolutely, however much I loved her. I have wished and in- tended to do so, have tried hard, so hard, to avoid in-fidelity, but surrendered at last to the temptation. The idea of seeing another woman&nbsp;<span style=\"font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit;\">naked, of piercing a fresh cunt, seemed to foreshadow to me voluptuous pleasures never tasted before with any other woman. As my prick entered the cunt it had never touched before, the sensation always seemed to me more exquisite than that I had ever had with others. Yet many a time after such pleasures I have been disgusted with myself for my weakness, and tried to atone for it, without the object ever having been aware of the reason for my ultra kindness.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"page\" title=\"Page 852\">\n<div class=\"layoutArea\">\n<div class=\"column\">\n<p>[The quality of manuscript still left for revision, alas, is long. Amongst it is an essay on copulation, written I think somewhat earlier than some I have revised, and written with such knowledge of the subject as I then had, as well as with some ignorance which I now see. It has that freedom of expression which I at once adopted in my narrative, and leaves no doubt in my own mind about what I meant then, and at all times. \u2014 It pleased me much when I wrote it, yet it must be sacrificed to time, money, and expediency \u2014 for it is not an incident, and forms no part of the history of my private life, tho it illustrates well my frame of mind and knowledge of things sexual, at the period of my life when I wrote it.<\/p>\n<p>[This perusal brings prominently before me all my acts, deeds, and thoughts for full twenty years, and I perceive clearly, that altho I had done most things which were sexually possible once, and almost out of curiosity, or else on sudden impulse (up to about this period), yet that my habits with women in my lust were for the most part simple, commonplace, and unintellectual; and that I had not sought for out of the way lascivious postures and varied complex delights in copulation or its preliminaries, which a fervid, voluptuous, poetical imagination has since gradually devised for my gratification. This desire for variety seems to have commenced some time after I became acquainted with the second Camille.<\/p>\n<p>[But by that time I was evidently no longer displeased with that which, in years previously, would have shocked me. My prejudices have now pretty well vanished with the approach of middle age. I have conquered antipathies and reaped the reward, in seeing before me a great variety of frolics, suitable to my maturity, but which I am glad I did not have prematurely in my youth when I did not need them, and should not have appreciated them as I do now. \u2014 It is amusing now to notice the gradual&nbsp;<span style=\"font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit;\">change from simply belly to belly exercise, which contented me, to the infinitely varied amusements since indulged in.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"page\" title=\"Page 853\">\n<div class=\"layoutArea\">\n<div class=\"column\">\n<p>[No doubt in this I tread but in the ordinary footsteps and ways of male- kind. What I have done, thousands of others are doing. It is only when lustful impetuosity is weakened that reflexion and experience begin to devise new pleasures to aid it. As we get older we invent them as a stimulus, and woman thus become more and more charming, needful, and important to us; and just at a time when our responsibilities towards them become greatest. So by aiding and administering to us in our salacious devices, they reward us. In the end they are more and more needful to us, and we repay them by our generosity, our care of them, and our sacrifices for them. Nor are they behind us in desire to participate in these frolics, for they have lust as well as we. In a quiet, hidden way, they like lasciviousness if taught it gradually. But lust is mainly in we men \u2014 women are the ministers to it, it is the law of nature. \u2014 No blame attaches to woman for liking or for submitting to such frolics, abnormal whims, and fancies, which fools call obscene, but which are natural and proper, and perhaps universally practised, and which concern only those who practise and profit by them. In my experience many women delight equally in them, when their imaginations are once evoked. Nothing can perhaps be justly called unnatural which nature prompts us to do. If others don\u2019t like them, they are not natural to them, and no one should force them to act them.<\/p>\n<p>[The foregoing and similar paragraphs, written long after the manuscript, are to be enclosed in brackets thus [ ] so that I may identify them when I see them (if I do) at a future day in print, and this writing destroyed.<\/p>\n<p><b><i>[The headings of the chapters are now written for the first time<\/i><\/b>. \u2014 They will be needful if this be printed. Now I resume my narrative.]<\/p>\n<p>Whilst away I arranged it, and directly on my return to England gave up a snug, quiet, illicit establishment elsewhere, and to the satisfaction of both parties. Both agreed to it, and thought it was for the best. We had no quarrel. It cost much money down, and an annuity paid still, but no one was injured, no one wronged. All interested were provided for. I wonder if this will ever meet her eyes, or if so if she will know that it&nbsp;<span style=\"font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit;\">refers to her. It is not probable, for neither names, places, nor initials are given, and no clue afforded; yet nothing is impossible.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"page\" title=\"Page 854\">\n<div class=\"layoutArea\">\n<div class=\"column\">\n<p>I had not returned to England a fortnight before a domestic turn-out took place, which caused me much annoyance but led me to unlooked for pleasure.<\/p>\n<p>It has, I think, been said before that I had been for some time in better circumstances, had a larger house, more servants and so on. Among the servants whom I found on my return, was a parlour maid, a lovely girl with a superb pink and white complexion, and a skin which looked like ivory. She had darkish chestnut hair, soft hazel eyes, and a lovely set of teeth, was well grown, plump, and altogether a most desirable creature, and who looked a lady. Her name was Lucy. It passed through my mind that she would be an exquisite sweetheart, but I resisted incipient desire, avoiding by prudence and custom all intrigues with my own house-hold. Suddenly this girl was dismissed, and I was re-quested to dismiss my man, who had lived with us before I had left England, indeed had been in my service nearly two years. He was the best man I ever had, and was moreover a fine, handsome fellow, five feet ten high, and pleasant to look upon. He had been caught in loving familiarities with Lucy, who it was said also was with child by him; the poor girl had let this out to the cook or some one else, and the cook split upon her. James was impudent and denied it all, but I think the case was proved. It would not have done to have passed over open fornication. Had I done so, the habit would have spread throughout the household; so I reluctantly gave him notice. The poor girl went off very quietly in tears. I never felt so sorry for a woman, especially as whilst denying that she had let him have her, she said that he had promised her marriage, which James, when I told him, said was a lie. But this statement of hers confirmed me in the belief that he had tailed her. Lucy was however promised a character, and that nothing should be said about her faux pas, unless a question leading to it were asked. It was an unusual piece of charity of my old woman.<\/p>\n<p>So nice a looking girl was of course sought after, and in two or three days ladies applied for her character, but none would take her. James had not gone because I could not get suited with another man. I spoke to him again, and accused him of cruelty and wickedness in promising marriage, but he still denied it altogether. \u201cBut the cook asserts she has&nbsp;<span style=\"font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit;\">seen you on the sofa in the dining room more than once.\u201d \u201cShe\u2019s a liar,\u201d said James, \u201cbut I\u2019ve several times had her, and on that sofa too, and because I\u2019d have no more of her, she\u2019s got up this tale.\u201d \u2014 James got then insolent.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"page\" title=\"Page 855\">\n<div class=\"layoutArea\">\n<div class=\"column\">\n<p>Now in my dining-room was a sofa, though not a usual piece of furniture in a dining-room; but I liked to lay there myself and read after dinner at times, so as to avoid the drawing-room and all that was usually in it. The footman and parlour maid laid the dinner things, waited at table, and cleared away, and so no other servant had any right in that room usually at those times, they had a nice chance and had availed themselves of it, I quite believed.<\/p>\n<p>I wished the cook at the Devil for causing me to lose two nice servants, and immediately told my wife what I had heard about her.<\/p>\n<p>She turned up into a high state of moral indignation, and had the cook up, and told her what James had said, I was asked to be present. Cook was fattish but had a pleasant face, was under forty \u2014 and I have fucked many a less tempting bit of flesh. \u2014 Never did a woman turn so red as she did. She was almost speechless, then almost choked, denied it, and dared the villain to say so to her face. I called him up. My wife said she could not have such investigations before her \u2014 yet she stayed. James repeated that he had been \u201cvery familiar\u201d with her. \u2014 Cook howled, shed tears, and said he lied. He retorted that the kitchen maid knew it. The kitchen maid was called up and questioned in a most delicate way. \u2014 She first denied knowing anything about it, but catechised by James, said that the cook and he had certainly been to the top of the house together at times when missus was out. She didn\u2019t know why, it wasn\u2019t her business to spy her fellow servants, and so on. And then said that the housemaid who slept with Lucy knew more than she did about Lucy and James. A regular shindy ensued among the servants, and it ended in the whole lot being discharged, excepting the lady\u2019s maid. Altho by no means sure that the footman had not accused the cook out of spite, I felt sure that he had got into Lucy under promise of marriage.<\/p>\n<p>At the end of a week the poor girl came crying to us, and imploring that nothing should be said to prevent her getting a place. Then I found out her lodgings and went really and truly to comfort her. It was about ten o\u2019clock in the morning. \u201cThree pair front,\u201d said the landlady, not looking&nbsp;<span style=\"font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit;\">very pleasantly at me, and directly I had gone, as I heard afterwards, said \u201cI ain\u2019t a going to have any of them games here. You take your-self off if swells like him visit yer.\u201d \u2014 So as I really was much interested in the girl, and had determined to help her, I arranged for her to meet me at Charing Cross that afternoon. I declare I had no intention of trying to have her, tho I had felt a desire for her. But I meant to try to get her married to my man. That was my vague notion.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"page\" title=\"Page 856\">\n<div class=\"layoutArea\">\n<div class=\"column\">\n<p>She was a little late, and as I could not well talk with her in the street, I took her to the Cafe de P**v**e and ordered a little dinner in a private room. \u2014 She had had very bad food since she had left my house, and this nice dinner delighted her. Like all women of her class she refused it at first, was nervous, said she could not eat before gentlefolks, and was most uncomfortable, but it gradually wore off as the food warmed and the wine cheered her. Her lovely eyes began to sparkle and her tears dried up. Then cheered myself, a sudden throb of desire went through me. She has had it up her cunt, has been spent in, has clasped a man in her arms, has felt his prick. \u2014 I wonder if she has a pretty cunt, much hair on it, and a group of cognate thoughts came on and my prick was standing, and was within a couple of yards of that cunt. Did my lust communicate itself to her by subtle magnetic influence? how can that be known? But I became silent for the moment, and so did she, staring intently and, as I thought after-wards, voluptuously at me.<\/p>\n<p>The dinner was not long about. Whilst eating I told her that I meant to help her out of her difficulties. \u201cHow?\u201d she asked. Well I must feel my way, try if I could get James to marry her, or send her home, or get her a place, or a doctor if she wanted one. But I must know more than I did, must feel sure I was on the right path, she must tell me the truth, or I could do nothing. \u2014 This was varied by talk about myself and household, and I heard much that had taken place, and what had been said, during my absence; for this girl had become our servant just after I went abroad. The talk however always got back to the subject of her faux pas with James, and there was an undercurrent of lewedness, for it all referred to cock and cunt; tho not a word of smut had I used, as we sat eating so close together, with my legs touching hers under the table.<\/p>\n<p>The dinner was removed, but wine left, it was only sherry. Unnoticed I bolted the door, and down I made her sit with me on the sofa. \u201cNow,&nbsp;<span style=\"font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit;\">Lucy,\u201d said I, \u201clet us talk quite seriously about you and your belly; before I can do you any service, you must tell me the truth. Has James done it to you or not?\u201d \u2014 After long hesitation she said slowly, \u201cNo.\u201d \u201cAnd you\u2019re not with child?\u201d \u201cNo.\u201d She did not look me in the face and became quite cast down. \u201cHe has never put it up you?\u201d said I, revelling in the idea of evoking voluptuous recollections in the girl. \u201cNo sir,\u201d \u201cThen if that be so, I don\u2019t see what use I can be to you, I was going, had you been fucked, and had you been with child, to have helped you to get rid of it, or to have sent you to your parents, till you were confined, or to some where else, and to nay for it all, for I much pity you. But now all you have to do is to get another place, which you are sure to do in time, so give me a kiss for my good intentions. I watched her closely as I said fucked, and saw her blush and wince, with a sense of modesty, and I felt a delicious lust creep through me when uttering the lewed words, and calling to her mind sexual pleasure.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"page\" title=\"Page 857\">\n<div class=\"layoutArea\">\n<div class=\"column\">\n<p>For a minute she sat looking down speechless, and I repeated all I had said. She seemed to be struggling with herself, and at length raised her face to mine and kissed me. Then I kissed her passionately, and hugged her to me and kissed every part of her face, her ears, and eyes, and neck. \u2014 Her eyes filled with tears, she broke from me, buried her face in her hands, began crying violently, and saying that I was very kind. I tried to comfort her, putting my arm around her, kissing her, asking what it was all about, repeating, \u201cHas he fucked you, has he? tell me, now tell me,\u201d but getting no reply for some minutes. Then her tears sub-sided and she sobbed out, \u201cI told you a story, I\u2019m past two months with child by James.\u201d And having made the confession she came to herself, kissed me whenever I asked her, and told me the history of her seduction (for that it was), whilst I cuddled her to me affectionately, making her sip sherry at times to comfort her, and keep her spirits up.<\/p>\n<p>James had promised to marry her. One night he took her to the theatre, and then to have some drink in a house, and there he induced her to let him have her. Since then he had her repeatedly, and nearly always on the sofa in our dining room. For half an hour I questioned her and she told me all the detail, as if I were her confessor.<\/p>\n<p>Then I repeated my promise. She was to consider what would be the best for her to do, but perhaps James would marry her. No he would not for&nbsp;<span style=\"font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit;\">she had written him, and he had not answered her letter. \u2014 I told her on no account was she ever to mention me to him, that she might be easy about money, for I would pay for all she needed, till she was out of her trouble. She said she didn\u2019t want money, having by her two or three pounds. I gave her more saying, \u201cThat will pre-vent your fretting.\u201d She was deeply grateful, and cried and kissed me again and again.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"page\" title=\"Page 858\">\n<div class=\"layoutArea\">\n<div class=\"column\">\n<p>I can do her no harm thought I, for she is with child, and my prick swelled proudly. Voluptuous thrills passed through me as I thought of her cunt being within reach of my fingers, and I resolved to try for it. We finished the wine, she was heated, I again began talking about her love affair, and now in burning words of lust. My embraces, kisses, and lewed words excited her. Did he hurt her, when his prick first went up her cunt? Wasn\u2019t it pleasure to her, doing it. \u201cKiss me, Lucy.\u201d She kissed but did not answer. \u201cHow exquisite the sensations are just when the prick stiffens to its utmost when up the cunt, aren\u2019t they?\u201d \u201cOh don\u2019t, sir, talk so,\u201d she burst out. \u201cWhy not, love? You know.\u201d Then my hand began roving about. \u201cHave you much hair there, Lucy?\u201d \u201cI won\u2019t tell you, now leave off.\u201d \u201cYou garter above knee, don\u2019t you?\u201d \u201cYes, sir.\u201d I pulled her further on the sofa, and still closer to me. pressing her closely to me, kissing her, telling her of my desire for her, in a few minutes my hand was on her thighs and roving up and down, then round her haunches as far as I could reach, it went over her smooth, sweet flesh; and then the fingers nestled between her notch, and when half hidden by the plump lips and the thick, silky hair which curled over my knuckles \u2014 there they rested \u2014 \u201cI\u2019m feeling your cunt, Lucy, I don\u2019t hurt you, do I now?\u201d She replied not, but our kisses met, and we laid in silent enjoyment. I am feeling her, she is being felt. The fingers of a man, even if motionless, on a woman\u2019s cunt, inflame her.<\/p>\n<p>Now I got burning with fierce desire, as my fingers played delicately with a well-developed clitoris. \u201cFucking is lovely, isn\u2019t it dear Lucy, feel my prick, love.\u201d Removing my hand from her cunt, I got out my prick, and placed her hand on it. Back went my hand between her thighs and recommended its delicate fingering. \u201cOpen your thighs dear, and let me feel lower down.\u201d \u201cOho,\u201d she gasped, as they widened apart, and softly with a burrowing motion, two fingers buried themselves in her vagina.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"page\" title=\"Page 859\">\n<div class=\"layoutArea\">\n<div class=\"column\">\n<p>\u201cHow wet your cunt is, love \u2014 you want a fuck.\u201d Not a word she said, her breath seemed short, her eyes closed, she kissed me when ever I asked her, she was swooning with voluptuous feelings. \u201cLet me do it, I want it so badly. You are so lovely and it can\u2019t hurt you now, let me.\u201d and I kissed her rapturously. \u201cNo,\u201d she whispered but almost inaudibly, holding my prick still in her hand. I took no denial, gently pushed her back, lifted her legs up, without resistance mounted her, and the next instant my pego was sheathed in a most heavenly cunt. With deep drawn sighs, Lucy clasped me to her and we fucked. \u201cIt\u2019s lovely, isn\u2019t it, dear?\u201d \u201cAh-ho, o-ho,\u201d she whispered, and the next instant we were both spending in ecstasy.<\/p>\n<p>What voluptuous, triumphant joy I had as, raising myself up partly, I looked at that lovely face. \u2014 My prick still buried up her. Then in tranquil enjoyment I lay kissing her, till my prick slipped out. How uncomfortable the sofa suddenly seemed to be. I have had scores of women on sofas, but how few sofas gave full comfort in copulating. That which we were on now was a miserably small one. I got up, so did she. \u201cWasn\u2019t it lovely, Lucy?\u201d \u201cDid you bring me here to make me do that?\u201d said she sorrowfully.<\/p>\n<p>I swore that I had not, \u2014 that it was only the result of her beauty, \u2014 an accident \u2014 that I suddenly had lusted for her. She shook her head as if she doubted me.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI wish I could wash,\u201d said she. \u2014 I rang the bell, the chambermaid showed her a room. When she came back we had more wine. \u201cI\u2019m fuddled,\u201d said she, but she wasn\u2019t. \u201cNever mind, I\u2019ll see you home, but come with me, we have some hours before us, and we will go where we can be more comfortable, finish your wine.\u201d In ten minutes I was in the room which I first entered with Sarah Mavis.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIt\u2019s a bad house,\u201d said she. \u201cSo they call it, my love, but it\u2019s good to us, so why is it bad? Take off some of your things, and we will talk about your troubles lying down.\u201d She was docile. Soon we were on the bed half undressed. \u2014 \u201cNow don\u2019t be foolish dear. Let me look at it. I\u2019ve fucked it, what can be the harm in looking at it?\u201d In half an hour I had seen all, and we fucked as often as we could, till it was time to go. I took her to within sight of her lodgings in a cab.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"page\" title=\"Page 860\">\n<div class=\"layoutArea\">\n<div class=\"column\">\n<p>The next day we dined together. I was wild to have her again, and as quickly as we could, we adjourned to J***s. St. I passed a delicious four hours with her. We both stripped to shirt and chemise. She was exquisitely formed, plump to perfection, without an ounce too much fat, and had the loveliest little cunt I ever saw, with a little nutty shaped clitoris, with a mere line of inner lip, and delicately puffed lips covered with bright, chestnut coloured, silky, yet crisp hair, which only just covered her mount, and stopped half way down towards the bum hole. Her flesh enervated me with its sweet smell, she was one of those delicious-smelling women. The smell of her cunt was also exquisite, and I opened the lips again and again to smell it. My prick rose as its odour permeated me, I could not wait to enjoy my eyesight, but mounted her and fucked her madly.<\/p>\n<p>When we had reposed a little, and her dear little cunt had absorbed some of my libation as we lay talking, I made her wash it clear of the remnant of the pearly sperm, and brought her with modest reluctance to the side of the bed, where I could get the best light. Then I looked well at her exquisite rosy aperture, and smelt, and sniffed its fragrance with rapture. At once my prick stiffened as the aroma penetrated me, but I re-fused to be hurried by it into blissful exhaustion so rapidly. Restraining myself, I gloated speechless on its beauty, and revelled in my inhalation. \u2014 What voluptuous thoughts rushed thro my brain as I knelt with the wide spread thighs before me. Then gently I put my tongue on her clitoris, and licked lightly, then it played over the whole surface of her cunt, now it protruded up her vagina as far as it could reach, then went again to the clitoris, then broadly over the whole lovely pink surface, covering it as it were, with a plaister. Suddenly in her lust, \u201cOh, what are you \u2014 doing?\u201d she said, writhing, \u201cOho-a-ha.\u201d \u201cIsn\u2019t it pleasure love?\u201d \u201cOh, yes, oh \u2014 but don\u2019t \u2014 aha.\u201d On I went licking, sucking, tongue probing, now covering her cunt with my saliva, now sucking it up, mixed with her salt effusion. \u201cOh \u2014 don\u2019t \u2014 leave off \u2014 shall do it else,\u201d \u2014 she cried, with a bum jerk. \u201cSpend, love, spend in my mouth,\u201d I cried, and licked still faster. \u2014 My hands were under her lovely white buttocks which wriggled gently side ways, then gently but quickly, up and down, rubbing her cunt against my tongue; her thighs opened wide and shivered, I took the whole surface of her cunt in my mouth, sucking, inhaling it, until \u2014 clutching the hair of my head with both hands, with a prolonged moan of&nbsp;<span style=\"font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit;\">pleasure \u2014 \u201cOh \u2014 o-ha,\u201d and a quiver of her belly, and short sobs, her muscles relaxed, her thighs and belly were quiet, a salt discharge came over my tongue, and all was silent all quiet, but my rigid, restless, prick, which was throbbing and knocking up towards my navel.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"page\" title=\"Page 861\">\n<div class=\"layoutArea\">\n<div class=\"column\">\n<p>In full tide of lust and love for my delicious partner, I sucked her cunt dry, scarcely knowing that I did so. Then I arose. She lay motionless, with eyes closed, thighs distended, and hanging down, as I had dropped them. Every hair on her cunt was saturated, and the juices were running to waste down towards her bum-furrow. It hung round my mouth, and wet moustaches. I felt it there with delight. Holding up her thighs, I pushed my prick up her, and gave it a delicious lodging for a minute or two, till it got too impatient and threatened to finish without me. Then I withdrew it, and wiping her cunt dry outside with my hand, and drying my moustache, I laid by the side of her on the bed, and we talked of the tongue pleasure, which she had never tasted nor even heard of before. What delight I felt in having given that girl a new pleasure. She had fucked and frigged, but had never been gamahuched, until by me.<\/p>\n<p>I feared to fuck her, tho burning to do so, lest my over excited machine should too hastily finish its enjoyment without giving her her share. \u201cFeel my prick, there love, isn\u2019t it stiff? If I put it in you now, I shall spend directly, and you won\u2019t. Frig yourself a bit first.\u201d \u201cOh, I can\u2019t.\u201d \u201cNonsense, no stupid modesty, love \u2014 you\u2019ve often done it to yourself. You\u2019ve just told me so \u2014 haven\u2019t you?\u201d \u201cYes but by myself.\u201d \u201cFrig now.\u201d \u201cOh, no, no.\u201d \u201cLet me then frig you, turn on your back.\u201d The lovely creature did so at once. I turned on my side against her, covered one leg with mine partly, and her mouth with mine, kissed her with wet lips and tongue, and excited her. Then I put two fingers as far as I could up her cunt. \u201cNow love, do frig yourself.\u201d I stretched her cunt and felt its corrugated, wrinkled surfaces. \u201cFrig, love, now whilst my fingers are up you, till you feel pleasure coming on.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Persuaded at length she did so without reply, gently as if ashamed. Then my prick now less rigid, I pressed up against her thigh as she lay, I whispered lustful words, a restless movement of her body came on soon, as her fingers moved nimbly over her clitoris. \u201cDo you feel the pleasure, love?\u201d \u201cYes,\u201d she whispered. Then gliding over her, I pushed my prick&nbsp;<span style=\"font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit;\">between the delicate lips and silken fringe, and it glided slowly and deliciously up her lubricious tube, till it touched her womb door.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"page\" title=\"Page 862\">\n<div class=\"layoutArea\">\n<div class=\"column\">\n<p>Then gently backwards and forwards I moved it. We fucked. That glorious word expresses it all. Slowly, till urged by spermatic wants, that inner sovereignty or force within my balls, hurrying to ejaculate itself; quicker and quicker went my thrusts, her buttocks responded, her cunt gripped, till with short, sharp, thrusts and wriggles, my prick hit against her womb, her cunt constricted and ground, and sucked round my prick from tip to root, moistening both itself and occupant, and my sperm shot out, and filled it. \u201cAh \u2014 oho \u2014 my \u2014love \u2014 darling \u2014 a \u2014har \u2014 fuck a har,\u201d and we were silent, well pleased in each other\u2019s arms, our tongues together. Can paradise give any bliss like that which a man and woman enjoy, when loving each other and their prick and cunt perfectly fitting each other they join their bodies in copulation, till they pour out and mix together the unctuous salt juices, which reproduce their kind.<\/p>\n<p>Again I gamahuched her, again I fucked, and again gamahuched. Her heavenly, voluptuous look as she spent I shall never forget. \u2014 I was frantic with lust for her. \u2014 Indeed had a love for her rapidly springing up; for not only did she seem to me, and indeed was the very perfection of sexual enjoyment, but she was lady like in look, in voice, and in manner, and so utterly unlike a servant, that any gentleman, had he married her, might soon have made her a lady; yet here was this poor girl with child by a footman. As I laid by her side that day, I vowed to myself to do all I could to prevent her going to ruin, for I noticed that her very docility would enable any rogue, male or female, to lead her easily. I have had more pleasure in writing this narrative about her than had when writing about other women, whose doings I have told about.<\/p>\n<p>The girl was also chaste in words and in manner, which pleased me much in itself, and also because it gave me the opportunity of teaching her to use lewed words. It is to me one of the great charms of liaisons with women who are not gay, to make them speak in the coarsest language of their organs, wants and sensations, whilst I look them in the face. Two or three days afterwards in the middle of a fuck, I raised my- self up and leaning with both hands on the bed, whilst my belly pressed hers, and my prober was to its full length up her cunt: \u201cWhere is my prick now?\u201d said I. No answer; her cunt tightened and moved my prick in&nbsp;<span style=\"font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit;\">it, but she replied not. \u201cWhere is my prick? say dear, say in my cunt,\u201d and I gave a thrust. \u201cSay in my cunt,\u201d another thrust. Her eyes closed, she was coming spite of my prick being motionless. The grip of her cunt was on me, \u201cSay in my cunt, or I\u2019ll pull it out. Say cunt, love.\u201d I moved spite of myself. \u201cSay cunt.\u201d \u201cOh \u2014 a \u2014 har,\u201d \u2014 she sobbed. \u2014 \u201cCunt, dear.\u201d \u201cIn my cunt a \u2014 ha,\u201d \u2014 burst from her. \u201cOh,\u201d and drop-ping on to her and thrusting my tongue into her sweet mouth, in a transport of all- pervading voluptuousness we lay speechless in each other\u2019s arms, whilst the juices of our mouths mingled, and the thick hot sperm filled her cunt to over flowing. Then in the soft fondlings of satisfied lust, I made her repeat the four words, which express at once the simple loving function.&nbsp;<\/span><span style=\"font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit;\">I love to make a modest woman say them.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"page\" title=\"Page 863\">\n<div class=\"layoutArea\">\n<div class=\"column\">\n<p>Daily she went after situations uselessly, and for nine or ten days I had this exquisite creature, and had I not just repented and got rid of a similar folly, really believe I should have offered to keep her, so nice was she in every particular. As a fuckstress she was perfection. Rarely have I found such an exquisite fitting cunt as Lucy had. Its delicate tightness and elasticity, its lubricity and smoothness, its depth, its nut-cracking grip when the spending spasm was over \u2014 for she had involuntarily that gift \u2014 I have never found coupled in greater perfection in any women yet, tho I have had some as nice, and one always has a tendency to praise the charms of the woman in possession for a time.<\/p>\n<p>My desire for gamahuching her increased instead of diminishing. I never tired of looking at her cunt. \u2014 So every time I fucked her, I made her wash, then bringing her to the side of the bed, I put pillows under her head so that I could see her, and sitting down on a chair, took her thighs over my arms, and looked at her exquisite pink orifice, till I dropped on my knees and put my mouth to it and sucked, till I gave her pleasure. Each day we parted both of us exhausted. But I must not any longer dwell on the charms of this lovely creature.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/section>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/article>\n<p><\/p><\/main><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<footer id=\"colophon\" class=\"site-footer\">\n<div class=\"site-above-footer-wrap ast-builder-grid-row-container site-footer-focus-item ast-builder-grid-row-2-equal ast-builder-grid-row-tablet-2-equal ast-builder-grid-row-mobile-full ast-footer-row-stack ast-footer-row-tablet-stack ast-footer-row-mobile-stack\" data-section=\"section-above-footer-builder\">\n<div class=\"ast-builder-grid-row-container-inner\">\n<div class=\"ast-builder-footer-grid-columns site-above-footer-inner-wrap ast-builder-grid-row\">&nbsp;<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/footer>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>VOLUME 5 CHAPTER 3 Explanations. \u2022 Reflexions, and observations about my-self. \u2022 My private establishment. \u2022 Easy circumstances. \u2022 My new house. \u2022 James the footman. \u2022 Lucy the parlour maid. \u2022 Love exercises in the dining room. \u2022 Two dismissals. \u2022 The cook and James. \u2022 Kitchen and housemaid. \u2022 A general turn-out. \u2022 &hellip;<\/p>\n<p class=\"read-more\"> <a class=\"\" href=\"https:\/\/mysecretlife.org\/?page_id=1553\"> <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Volume Five Chapter Three<\/span> Read More &raquo;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-1553","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mysecretlife.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1553"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mysecretlife.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mysecretlife.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mysecretlife.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mysecretlife.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1553"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/mysecretlife.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1553\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2489,"href":"https:\/\/mysecretlife.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1553\/revisions\/2489"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mysecretlife.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1553"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}