{"id":1559,"date":"2022-08-23T17:52:15","date_gmt":"2022-08-23T17:52:15","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mysecretlife.org\/?page_id=1559"},"modified":"2022-09-18T15:49:20","modified_gmt":"2022-09-18T15:49:20","slug":"volume-five-chapter-six","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/mysecretlife.org\/?page_id=1559","title":{"rendered":"Volume Five Chapter Six"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-page\" data-elementor-id=\"1559\" class=\"elementor elementor-1559\" data-elementor-settings=\"[]\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-section-wrap\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-66ec3e5 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"66ec3e5\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-50 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-e1572e0\" data-id=\"e1572e0\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-1903a0d elementor-widget elementor-widget-html\" data-id=\"1903a0d\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"html.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/embed\/album\/2Co9Xslgpp0SbGXTzybQE5\" width=\"300\" height=\"380\" frameborder=\"0\" allowtransparency=\"true\" allow=\"encrypted-media\"><\/iframe>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-50 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-907b442\" data-id=\"907b442\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-f07960f elementor-widget elementor-widget-html\" data-id=\"f07960f\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"html.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/embed\/album\/5kAZNDEnlBvc4iTI1cwsGf\" width=\"300\" height=\"380\" frameborder=\"0\" allowtransparency=\"true\" allow=\"encrypted-media\"><\/iframe>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-2cc22b7 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"2cc22b7\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-90b7b73\" data-id=\"90b7b73\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-fccafa8 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"fccafa8\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-441f5f9 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"441f5f9\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-33e26c5\" data-id=\"33e26c5\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-0cc1af6 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"0cc1af6\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n<div class=\"page\" title=\"Page 883\">\n<div class=\"layoutArea\">\n<div class=\"column\">\n<p><b>VOLUME 5 CHAPTER 6<\/b><\/p>\n<p><i>My uncle\u2019s in the North. \u2022 Cousin Hannah. \u2022 Mop-sticks. \u2022 The peep in the hayfield. \u2022 At a ball. \u2022 The drive next day. \u2022 After dinner. \u2022 The drawing-room sofa. \u2022 A tale told. \u2022 Solitude, twilight, and opportunity. \u2022 Consequences. \u2022 Fear of detection. \u2022 Cunning devices. \u2022 Hannah\u2019s bed room. \u2022 Aunt returns. \u2022 A night\u2019s pleasure. \u2022 Morning regrets. \u2022 At breakfast. \u2022 Against the wall. \u2022 Bates, the maid. \u2022 Gesticulations and indications. \u2022 Hannah\u2019s dream. \u2022 Nearly caught.<\/i><\/p>\n<p>Although I went with women promiscuously, it was only with those of a high class; but variety seemed every thing to me. Every pretty gay woman attracted me, and I had an intense curiosity to see their cunts, more it seems to me than to possess them; tho I don\u2019t recollect many whom my prick did not enter after my eyesight had been gratified. It is surprising to myself how for a time I recollected this great variety of cunt; for I saw five or six fresh ones a week, and one week I had ten. It was one in the afternoon before dinner, and the second after dinner, when I had two.<\/p>\n<p>Then I went on a visit to one of my uncles in the North. He had married a prudish sort of woman, and they lived on their fortune and on their estate which was mainly hers. \u2014 He let his farms reserving the game, and I went to see him usually once a year, and generally when game was to be shot. I had only to write to say I was coming, for my aunt liked me though she said I was wild, \u201cBut who would wonder at it.\u201d They had children, all of whom were married but one girl, Letitia, who lived at home. One cousin named Hannah was married to an officer who had gone to India, and she had gone to her father\u2019s home to await his arrangements, which did not quite depend upon himself. She was then about going out to him. They had been married four years and had no children, had always lived at hotels or in lodgings, for he had been obliged to move about so much with his Regiment, that they had never had a settled home. It was rumoured that they did not lead a very loving life. Yet I never heard anything urged against either him, or her. \u2014 He was quite a gentleman, but poor, and had been gone abroad six or nine months at the time I speak of. A letter from him naming the time of her departure to India&nbsp;<span style=\"font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit;\">was expected. The post only then came in about once in three weeks, or less frequently.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"page\" title=\"Page 884\">\n<div class=\"layoutArea\">\n<div class=\"column\">\n<p>Hannah had been fond of me as a girl, but it was not returned by me. I was about five years older than her. She was so thin when young, that she was the subject of all sorts of jokes. We used to call her lanky, mop- sticks, and scraggs; and I could not bear scraggy girls. She continued scraggy till about twenty, when she bloomed in to a new woman, and soon after she was married, fattened into a superb one. It was almost impossible to think she was the scraggs of former days. The male and his sperm agreed with her and had helped, I expect, to cover her bones; but it never swelled her belly.<\/p>\n<p>When Fred and I were about seventeen or eighteen years old, and old enough not to have troubled our-selves about young girls, we played with her the same trick in a hay field that we had done with Fred\u2019s sisters when we were boys. \u201cLet\u2019s look at mopstick\u2019s thighs, I wonder if she has any hair on her cunt,\u201d said he one day. She was rather too old for such an attempt, but it was successful. We pelted each other with hay, Fred held her down and covered her head, and I lifted her petticoats whilst she was struggling. Fred in his turn pulled her out from under the hay exposing her thighs, and we both saw her cunt for a moment only. It was hairless. The girl fancied some trick had been played on her, for she got up in a temper, stood colouring scarlet, looking first at me and then at Fred in a peculiar way, and tears came into her eyes. We were suspected, evidently. \u201cCome along Hannah,\u201d I said. \u201cShan\u2019t,\u201d said she pouting, \u201cI\u2019ll go to Mamma,\u201d and off she went. \u201cI think mopsticks smells a rat,\u201d said Fred, and we were rather uneasy about it, but suppose the girl never did say anything.<\/p>\n<p>I only saw Hannah once or twice a year as she grew older, and never without thinking of her skeleton legs, so watched her fattening in after years with much interest. Fred used to say her bum-cheeks were not bigger than apple dumplings; I had not seen her for a couple of years, at the time I tell of, and was delighted with her altered appearance. Yet, still I recalled to mind the long hairless slit between the two broom-stick thighs, and wondered how the apparatus and its surroundings looked now. We were thrown together daily and nearly all day; she still called me Walter, and I called her Hannah, tho I heard her husband did not&nbsp;<span style=\"font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit;\">approve of it. Neither did my aunt who used to say that it would be better to address each other as Mr. and Mrs.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"page\" title=\"Page 885\">\n<div class=\"layoutArea\">\n<div class=\"column\">\n<p>My uncle spent most of his time in field-sports, he was much liked and invited to fishings and shootings far and near. When I had been there three days, off he went on a visit, taking his guns and rods, and his unmarried daughter with him, leaving me to stop as long as I liked at \u201dK . My aunt and I, cousin Hannah, were then alone. So Hannah was much more with me than before, but I did not take much notice of her until I got lewed. Then gradually my lust came on strong, and <b><i>I resolved to go to D**l**g**n and get a woman. We were about two miles from town.<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n<p>My uncle\u2019s house was at the end of a quiet village. It had a ground and one storey above, only; and kitchens on the ground floor, separated from the other part by a lobby, shut off by a door. Like other gentle-men\u2019s houses of that class which were old built, it stood in beautiful grounds. When my prick began to irritate me, a lewed pleasure came to me in looking at Hannah, and thinking it was months since her quim had had a stiff one up it. In a delicate way I alluded to her being a half widow, and I a half widower. \u2014 \u201cDon\u2019t you feel dull when you get to bed,\u201d said I. \u201cDon\u2019t you,\u201d said she, and we both laughed. The joking was never more direct than that, but I was sure it had occurred to her that I meant to say \u201cYou have nobody to fuck you, Hannah.\u201d I never however dreamed of trying to have her, for as often said, I esteemed it disgraceful for a man not to respect his own family, and I objected always, on principle, to interfering with other men\u2019s wives, tho unfortunately I have been seduced into breaking this rule.<\/p>\n<p>There was a good deal of difficulty in getting at the servants of the house, four in number. The cook was the wife of the coachman and looked closely after the other three, who were nice, fresh-coloured bitches; and seeing no chance there, I intended to have a free lady at the town of D* * *n. I should add that there were no men servants kept in the house. The parlour maid seemed to be always looking at me, and I had kissed her on a former visit, had even given a poke with my finger below her waist, but nothing more; and she now looked at me severely.<\/p>\n<p>We went to a small ball, which my uncle and other cousin had not accepted. Hannah\u2019s white shoulders and breasts enticed me. I waltzed with her, the smell of her flesh upset me. \u201cWhat a shame we can\u2019t kiss&nbsp;<span style=\"font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit;\">each other, as we used,\u201d said I, when waltzing. \u201cSo it is,\u201d said she, laughing, \u201cfor we are cousins and there would be no harm, but people might make mischief.\u201d After supper I danced again with her. \u201cI can scarcely keep my lips from your shoulders,\u201d I said. \u201cBe careful, don\u2019t hold me so close.\u201d My prick was stiff, and I had pleasure in the idea of its being close up against her. She would dance with me no more that night. Her mother had whispered to her not to do so. \u2014 In the carriage going home, I rejoiced in the warmth of her limbs against mine, moving them gently up against her \u2014 as I thought without her noticing my little game \u2014 and I rested my hand on her knee whilst talking as if without intention, and so on, indulging in voluptuous feelings which touching a pretty woman always gave me, and thinking about her cunt, till my prick was well nigh bursting.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"page\" title=\"Page 886\">\n<div class=\"layoutArea\">\n<div class=\"column\">\n<p>The next day, a man called on us who invited me to sup with him at *** and I accepted meaning to have a woman there. After luncheon, I went with my aunt and cousin to the town of D* * * *n shopping. The carriage was an open one. It was a nice autumnal afternoon and I sat opposite them, my right leg against Hannah\u2019s. I\u2019ll swear she was as lewed as I was, for the music, dancing, and champagne over night had excited her, and perhaps also my contact with her, for I was in an awful state of lust anticipating an evening\u2019s fucking.<\/p>\n<p>My aunt\u2019s purchases just filled the spare seat by the side of me, and I moved to make room for them quite opposite to my cousin, and then her legs were closer to mine. Aunt then bought at a linen-drapers some flimsy, light article of large size, \u201cPut it in the carriage,\u201d said she to the draper; and to me, \u201cIt won\u2019t annoy you, it\u2019s so light.\u201d It hid our legs, and we went home, I indulging in the warmth of Hannah\u2019s against mine, which I closed delicately on hers. Hannah was very gay and laughed at every thing I said, till aunty wondered what she saw to laugh at so much. The pressure of my limbs against hers made her, I believe, half hysterical with want of fucking.<\/p>\n<p>We had dinner, and my aunt went out directly after-wards to see a friend close by who was very ill, and she took a servant to escort her. \u2014 I prepared to go out to ***. Hannah went to the drawing room, and sat on the sofa doing fancy work. It grew twilight. \u2014 \u201cI\u2019m going out,\u201d said I, \u201cto D***n.\u201d \u201cAre you not tired? I am, quite hot, quite feverish,\u201d said she. She.<span style=\"font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit;\">looked so nice, that I put down my hat and sat besides her on the sofa talking with her. A slight autumnal gust rose and it grew chilly: I got close to her. She laid down her work. \u201cLet us kiss,\u201d said I, \u201cfor we are cousins,\u201d and I put my arm round her waist and kissed her. She gave me one without any hesitation in return, and then I took a dozen. \u201cI don\u2019t know what Charley would say if he knew it,\u201d said she. \u201cNeither of us will tell him,\u201d I replied and I pulled her to me, and kissed again and again. \u201cOh, don\u2019t,\u201d said she, giving herself up to it tho, and letting me kiss, and giving me even some in return, but saying, \u201cDon\u2019t now, we mustn\u2019t.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"page\" title=\"Page 887\">\n<div class=\"layoutArea\">\n<div class=\"column\">\n<p>Then lewedness made me forget all in a desire to talk to her of baudy things. As far as I recollect the having her body had not even then entered my mind, but I thought of what I had seen in the hayfield, and longed to tell her. I felt on dangerous ground, was nervous, but the desire was irresistible. \u2014 Putting one hand on to her thigh gently outside her clothes, \u201cWhat a difference,\u201d said I, \u201cthere is between your thighs now, and when I saw them eleven years ago; they are three times as large.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhat?\u201d said she, laughing in an astonished way. \u201cWhat? How do you know about the size of my legs? Do you know what you are saying?\u201d I cuddled up to her, I pulled her to me, and whilst she kept saying at intervals, \u201cOh, what a shame,\u201d \u2014 I told her in a whisper the story. I used no strong words, tho what I said was quite unmistakeable. I am master of that kind of language, and she knew I had seen all. \u2014 \u201cYour thighs were not bigger than your calves now are, and Fred said \u2014 shall I tell you\u201d \u201cYes.\u201d \u201cDon\u2019t be offended then.\u201d \u201cNo.\u201d Then I told her. \u201cOh, what a couple of blackguards! I knew you were up to something, I have often thought of it since; it\u2019s disgraceful, and you have no business now to tell me anything about it,\u201d said she, with a sort of temper. The fog had thickened, the room was darkish, all was as silent as the grave. A desire to feel her cunt, to fuck her \u2014 a passionate desire to do so seized me suddenly. I thought not of who she was and who I was \u2014 my prick was stiff and throbbing. I pulled her to me and we kissed and kissed. \u201cOh, I can\u2019t breathe \u2014 leave off, Walt,\u201d said she in a soft voice. \u201cLet me love, \u2014 let us \u2014 who will know \u2014 let\u2019s do it,\u201d said I, pressing her thighs, slipping my hand down towards her knee. \u201cOh, don\u2019t \u2014 oh, don\u2019t.\u201d \u2014 A stoop, a lift, and my hand was on her naked thighs. She made a sudden at-tempt to push her clothes down, but it was too late, and struggled no more. \u2014 Her thighs were closed; I pushed my fingers thru the hair, they felt the&nbsp;<span style=\"font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit;\">soft clitoris, \u2014 then all is nearly confusion. I fingered away at it, that soft enticing rub, I kissed her, she kissed me, her head lay on my shoulder, she lay half slanting on the sofa, my left arm round her; I with-drew my hand from cunt for an instant, and pulled out my prick. \u2014 Seizing her hand, I put it round it, and my right hand resumed its place on her clitoris. \u201cOh, don\u2019t \u2014 oh, Walter dear \u2014 no \u2014 don\u2019t,\u201d she murmured. I stopped her utterances with kisses, licking her lips, shoving my tongue into her mouth, laid her down into the sofa, lifted her legs on to it without resistance, and threw myself on to her. Her thighs opened wide for me, and in a minute Hannah and I were spending, in a family fuck. We had committed adultery without meaning it. A randier cock and cunt, both bursting with sperm and fucking essences, never joined together; they were near to each other and could not help fucking \u2014 neither of us was to blame for that consanguineous embrace. \u201cGet up \u2014 oh, if the servants.\u201d I was still up her smoothing her bum with my hands, kissing and tonguing her still, almost bewildered myself, and wondering where I was, so blissfully unexpected the affair had been. I uncunted and we sat on the sofa together. \u201cOh, if we should have been seen,\u201d said she. \u2014 I had no fear. No one could be in the garden (the windows opening on to the lawn were however open), and the only possibility was one of the servants having come in whilst I was up her. But that was improbable; one was out with Aunt; the cook always went to her husband\u2019s rooms after dinner; the only one likely to come in was the parlour maid, \u2014 and she never came into the drawing-room after dinner till tea, or light, were rung for. I stole thru the big silent hall, opened one of the doors between the lobby leading to the kitchens quietly and listened. Two servants were talking to each other. Returning, I told Hannah, but she started all sorts of fears. \u201cIt\u2019s dark nearly. What will they think of our being here without lights? Oh, if they tell mamma. She is a little afraid of you Walt, and tells me to be cautious about you.\u201d Much of that sort was said, all in a low tone.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"page\" title=\"Page 888\">\n<div class=\"layoutArea\">\n<div class=\"column\">\n<p>We kissed and thought out a ruse. It was no time to think much, for Aunt might return at any minute. Softly I left the room, put my hat and stick on the hall table, went to my bed-room, took a pillow from the bed, put it under my head, and laid down on the sofa.<\/p>\n<p>When Hannah had given me time to do this, she rang the drawing-room bell. The servant came. \u201cWhat time is it?\u201d \u201cHalf-past eight, Ma\u2019am.\u201d&nbsp;<span style=\"font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit;\">\u201cHow cold it is, shut the window, I\u2019ve been fast asleep. Get tea, and lights, at once.\u201d The servant shut the window and brought lights. \u201cDid Mr.*** say when he should come home?\u201d \u201cHe won\u2019t to tea. Only make tea for me. I dare say Mamma will have hers out.\u201d \u201cI don\u2019t think Mr. * * * is out, Ma\u2019am, his hat is in the hall. \u201cHe went out directly after dinner.\u201d \u201cNo, his hat is there.\u201d \u201cGo up and see if he is in his bed-room.\u201d Up came the servant \u2014 knock, knock \u2014 knock again. \u201cUlloh come in,\u201d said I, in a sleepy tone. Mrs. * * * wants to know if you would like tea, sir? She did not know you were within.\u201d \u201cSay yes. I have been asleep.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"page\" title=\"Page 889\">\n<div class=\"layoutArea\">\n<div class=\"column\">\n<p>I waited up stairs till I heard the servant go towards the drawing room with the tea, then I went down \u2014 and Hannah and I laughed at each other before the servant, for falling asleep. \u2014 \u201cI thought you were going to ***,\u201d said she. The servant heard it all. \u201cI shan\u2019t go out now,\u201d I said. \u2014 \u201cI\u2019ll put on my slippers,\u201d and so saying went to my bed room. As I did so, something made me feel sure that Hannah would go to her bedroom, to feel her cunt, or wipe, or wash it, or piddle, or do something with it; and my bed room was just round the corner and not thirty feet from hers.<\/p>\n<p>I was right. Up she came, I saw her form in the dim light (she had no candle) at the door of her room. With-out shoes, and quietly as a mouse, I moved towards her door. \u2014 \u201cOh, for God\u2019s sake, don\u2019t,\u201d she whispered, \u201cwhat folly!\u201d But I pushed her into her room, and closed the door. \u2014 \u201cLet\u2019s do it again.\u201d \u201cNo\u2014 oh, if we should be found out, its madness.\u201d \u2014 But eagerly I pushed her onto the side of the bed, tilting up her thighs, I kissed her cunt, one rapturous kiss \u2014 which left my own sperm on my nose and lips. \u2014 Then driving my prick up her, we fucked again at the bed side. What a lovely fuck it was, how I stuck to her, holding up her thighs, closing my belly on to hers, puffing her to me by her thighs. Squeezing my balls home, and covering her bum with them when I had long done spending. It seems but yesterday that it happened, and my prick stiffens with sympathy as I write this.<\/p>\n<p>Then I went cautiously to the drawing room and she soon followed. We kept up the deceit. How little the maid knew of my prick sticking to my shirt, and the use Hannah had made of her cunt. We drank tea, I read, and Hannah worked as if we were brother and sister. The parlour maid, a demure young woman with fat rosy cheeks and lightish brown hair, handed toast. Before long that servant was to have her turn of grinding.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"page\" title=\"Page 890\">\n<div class=\"layoutArea\">\n<div class=\"column\">\n<p>When the maid left the room I told Hannah I meant to sleep with her. \u2014 \u201cYou\u2019re mad,\u201d said she. \u201cWhy Mamma\u2019s room is next but one to mine.\u201d But I talked my baudiest \u2014 of the delight of being naked belly to belly, of feeling and seeing, as well as fucking. I talked her lewed and met every objection she made. \u2014 If I were caught in the lobby I would say I was going to the water closet \u2014 but who could catch me. Her mother would not \u2014 the servants were away in their own quarter, her father (my uncle), and her sister away, and no one else in the house. We should never have the chance again, so persisting, shewing her my prick, feeling her thighs, talking baudy till she said I was a beast and then laughed at my talk. She agreed to let me, but she was nervous. \u2014 \u201cOh \u2014 go \u2014 go to your room, \u2014 if you keep talking like that, mother will see there is something wrong with me when she comes home, for I feel so upset.\u201d \u2014 So I left her with a randy cunt, and she was to say I had gone early to bed tired.<\/p>\n<p>Aunt came back soon after I had got to my room, she was tired and took hot gin and water before going to bed. I was in a fever of agitation, listened, heard Hannah leave her mother\u2019s room, \u2014 waited the time arranged, then stealthily with naked feet, walked to Hannah\u2019s chamber. \u2014 I listened as I passed aunt\u2019s room and heard her snore. \u2014 Hannah\u2019s door was fastened, I gently rattled the handle, the door opened. \u201cFor God sake go away,\u201d \u2014 whispered Hannah. She was in the dark, I entered and closed the door. \u201cOh, don\u2019t, and do go,\u201d said she. But I had not come to leave, and groping for the matches lighted a candle, dropped my dressing gown, stood naked and stiff pricked. \u2014 Then quietly she sank on the bed, I threw up her night gown, \u2014 saw a delicious dark haired cunt, and buried my prick in it in a jiffy. Then for three hours, all the luscious lascivious work I could think of I tried with her, sucked her bubbies, sucked her mouth, and leaving a towel in a tell tale mess stole back to bed. When I awoke I had a strange mixture of sensations. The prominent one was regret at having committed adultery, and above all with my cousin. I wondered how it had all come about, was clear that I never contemplated it, and certain that she never gave me the least encouragement. I can swear to the truth of that. Had I never seen her thighs when she was \u201cscraggy\u201d perhaps it never would have happened, but who knows. \u2014 A randy prick with ten days accumulation of sperm in it, a cunt which for months had never been probed by a male, or had felt&nbsp;<span style=\"font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit;\">the delight of the hot gush of sperm from a stiff prick, were both together in a half dark room, on a large sofa, after a good dinner; \u2014 and who knows what might have come off, even had I not told her of her long thighs and hairless slit. Thinking of all this I went down to breakfast.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"page\" title=\"Page 891\">\n<div class=\"layoutArea\">\n<div class=\"column\">\n<p>Luck as usual (how marvellously I have succeeded without being trapped hitherto), was mine. \u2014 My aunt had taken cold and was obliged to keep her room. Hannah came down to breakfast with fatigued eyes. She had not slept and was full of fears. \u2014 \u201cWhat are you staring at me so for, Walter?\u201d \u2014 I could not keep my eyes off of her \u2014 I allayed her fears. \u2014 \u201cWait to see if you are in the family way my love, you never have been yet \u2014 and don\u2019t be stupid. Who possibly can know I was in your room?\u201d Then I talked of our lascivious amusements till she blushed like a rose. She wished I had never come on the visit. Then I made love to her, and standing up with a bit of buttered toast in one hand, pulled out my prick with the other. Prick stiff, and handsome with its randy redness on it. \u2014 \u201cOh, for God sake don\u2019t.\u201d said she rising in haste, and going in front of me so as to hide it, I sup-pose for fear of the gardeners seeing. \u2014 \u201cOh, if any one is on the lawn. If Bates should come in, \u2014 oh, for God sake don\u2019t do that, Walter.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I knew that the gardeners were never on the lawn until the family was out of the house, or before they were up, that the maid never came in until rung for; but I buttoned up my prick and said we would do it as soon as I had finished breakfast. It was delightful to be suggesting copulation to the charming woman. \u2014 \u201cThat you shan\u2019t.\u201d \u201cThat I will.\u201d \u201cThat you shan\u2019t.\u201d \u201cDon\u2019t you want it?\u201d \u201cNo.\u201d \u201cYes you do.\u201d \u2014 So I talked on at the same time hurrying thru with my breakfast for I was in rut. When she was finished I pulled out my machine again, flourishing it before her, and pulled backwards and forwards the prepuce. \u2014 So excitedly glancing at the windows \u2014 then at the door \u2014 then all round, as if some one might see us thru the walls \u2014 and praying me to desist. \u2014 Then rising, \u201cYou must be mad, I must go to Mamma,\u201d and she moved towards the door. \u2014 I caught hold of her, put my hands up her petticoats on to her bum. She turned round, I pushed her up against the door, got my hand on her cunt, kissing and shoving my tongue into her mouth in which was still the flavour of toast and tea.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"page\" title=\"Page 892\">\n<div class=\"layoutArea\">\n<div class=\"column\">\n<p>Then was a quiet struggle. \u2014 Baudy incitements from me, prayers and entreaties all in whispers from her. \u2014 \u201cMy God, don\u2019t. If Bates should come in.\u201d I was resolute \u2014 dropped on my knees, butted my head up her petticoats, buried my mouth between her thighs, clasped her fat bum. The smell of her quim made me reckless. \u2014 I passed my tongue over and bit at her clitoris, my nose buried in the hairy fleece. Why I favoured her with this salacious incitement I don\u2019t know. Then getting up when her lust was on her, I fucked her against the door, or just by the side of it<span style=\"font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit;\">\u2014 I don\u2019t recollect which.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Standing still lusciously tranquil, prick and cunt joined in their spermy slobber \u2014 we heard a bell ring,<span style=\"font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit;\">\u2014 down dropped her petticoats, out came my prick, down we both sat. She by the tea things, I facing the window. \u201cIt\u2019s Mamma\u2019s bell,\u201d said she, \u201cand the lobby door must be open.\u201d \u2014 Her face was blood red, then white with agitation. I buttoned up my trousers wrongly, and had not yet adjusted my clothes, when the maid came in and said my aunt wished to see Hannah. Off she went, and I went up hypocritically to ask how aunt was. Later on when up I went into her bedroom \u2014 \u201cI\u2019d better go away,\u201d said I, \u201cfor you are unwell and I am in the way.\u201d \u201cYou had better stay another day, your uncle will be back then.\u201d \u2014 She would not have asked me had she known the state of Hannah\u2019s cunt at that moment.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>I went down to the dining room where Bates was clearing away breakfast and thought I would like to have her. \u2014 When I once have my rutting fury on I can think of nothing but cunt, and even when for the time used up by copulation, \u2014 Cunt, \u2014 Cunt, \u2014 is all I think of. \u2014 Every woman I pass in the street, I wonder what sort of a cunt she has, large or small, brown haired or black, much hair or little. \u2014 Has it been fucked or is it virgin. \u2014 I am mad about cunt \u2014 and this lasts usually two or three days till I am completely fucked out. \u2014 The abstinence from women for ten days, and the excitement of the last two days, had put me into this state; so directly I saw Bates alone, I thought of her cunt \u2014 and how to get into it.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIt\u2019s a long time since I gave you a kiss,\u201d said I \u2014 Her demure face broke into a smile and she looked all round the room. \u2014 \u201cMrs. Fitzgerald will hear you,\u201d said she (it was my cousin\u2019s name), I gave her rosy lips a kiss,&nbsp;<span style=\"font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit;\">and pinched her bum, making some impudent remark. She scuffled but I got her to kiss me, and for a few minutes, this game was carried on. \u2014 The bum pinching upset her most. \u2014 \u201cOh, law, don\u2019t. You\u2019ll make me lose my place, if any one\u2019s come in. Oh, if she be coming down, \u2014 oh, don\u2019t you hurt.\u201d \u201cI\u2019ll pinch it in front then.\u201d Whereon she opened the door wide. I walked into the garden smoking a cigar, for I fancied I heard Hannah coming; but I saw plainly that I might have much fun, if not fucking, with Bates demure as she looked, and even tho she was going to be married.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"page\" title=\"Page 893\">\n<div class=\"layoutArea\">\n<div class=\"column\">\n<p>Bates had been a long time in my aunt\u2019s service. When I had seen her before, I kissed her \u2014 but was not encouraged to proceed further; and two years had elapsed since then. My aunt had remarked that she was engaged to be married, \u2014 that and her demure look, and the difficulties in the way, made me dismiss all idea of getting into her \u2014 and had I not had my rutting fever on, dare say should never have attempted it. Now I was in my reckless mood and, having kissed and bum pinched, saw she was not annoyed but only timid. In the dining room I whispered, as she laid luncheon cloth, that I meant to sleep with her. \u2014 \u201cI mean to see what colour it is,\u201d said I, \u2014 at which she looked funny but very serious, and eyed me a long time without making any reply.<\/p>\n<p>At every opportunity \u2014 and I made many during the day, Hannah being so much with her mother, \u2014 I at-tacked her. When she opened the door I kissed her. \u2014 She was sent to me to a summer house (oh those summer houses, how often I have tailed women in them of which I shall have to tell more) \u2014 to say my aunt would be glad to see me. There I told Bates I had hurt my fingers against her bum, and was sure she was softer in front, and made fucking signs with my fingers. \u2014 Whilst Hannah, with her dark haired cunt, was opposite to me at dinner, I was wondering what sort of quim the maid had and was taken with a furious letch for the wench\u2014 and saw that every thing tended to giving me a chance with her.<\/p>\n<p>Hannah refused to let me into her room that night and I had to content myself with a grope. I went out in the afternoon \u2014 and came back to dinner. We dined later than usual and it was dark. There was a carriage drive up to the house \u2014 tho no lodge. I had rung the bell, and was waiting under the porch to be let in, when I thought I saw a paper on a&nbsp;<span style=\"font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit;\">garden bed, and stepped back to pick it up. Bates opened the door and not seeing anyone, stepped into the porch to look, and the wind slammed the hall door to just as she saw it was me. \u2014 \u201cI\u2019ll go round to the kitchen entrance,\u201d said she, \u201cand get it open for you, sir.\u201d I saw my opportunity<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"page\" title=\"Page 894\">\n<div class=\"layoutArea\">\n<div class=\"column\">\n<p>\u2014 caught her \u2014 kissed her \u2014 talked baudiness, and edging her up against the porch whilst kissing her, got my hand on to her cunt. \u2018Your cunt\u2019s nice \u2014 let me fuck it and I\u2019ll give you a lovely new dress.\u201d \u2014 She struggled but fear made her speak in a whisper. \u201cFor God sake, don\u2019t \u2014 you\u2019ll make me lose my place and my character \u2014 oh if the ladies know I\u2019m here. Oh, do let me go \u2014 what will they think in the kitchen? \u2014 I\u2019ll scream.\u201d \u2014 But she did not. \u2014\u201dOh, I will meet you on Sunday night as you asked me, if you leave off.\u201d \u201cI will indeed.\u201d \u201cLeave off then, you shan\u2019t.\u201d \u201cAnd let me fuck you?\u201d I asked. \u201cOh no \u2014 no,\u201d said she answering in her worry. I let her go, she ran round to the servants\u2019 gate, got in that way and coming to the hall door again, let me in. I put my fingers to my nose and said, \u201cHow lovely it smells, Becky.\u201d \u2014 I was fond of saying that to women whom I had felt.<\/p>\n<p>She waited at dinner, but instead of looking bashful, looked defiant and stolid, pinched her lips together, and kept staring at me. Several times when she was standing at the back of Hannah\u2019s chair, I put my finger to my nose in a careless manner, and then she coloured up, and I saw was on the point of smiling. Thought I \u2014 I\u2019ll shew you my prick at the first opportunity.<span style=\"font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit;\">\u2014 Dinner over, Hannah said she must sit all the evening with her mother, \u2014 I went out to * * * and played billiards. When I came back, Bates opened the door.<\/span><span style=\"font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit;\">\u2014 \u201cWhere is Mrs. Fitzgerald?\u201d \u201cUp with mistress,\u201d she replied. Out I pulled my prick which had stiffened before the door was opened. \u2014 \u201cI\u2019ll put it into you on Sunday night,\u201d said I in a whisper. \u201cYou\u2019re a beast,\u201d said she. \u2014 Never had I made more progress with a woman of her class in so short time. \u2014 Nothing but my heat would have made me so reckless \u2014 for tho I now see that extreme impudence in these matters tells the best, I have been often unable to act on that belief at first \u2014 and was even astonished now at myself.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Hannah came to say good night. \u2014 She had scarcely slept for two nights, and would not let me into her room again, \u2014 no, never \u2014 she was in&nbsp;<span style=\"font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit;\">mortal fear and looked ill, but before she retired I pushed her against the door and fucked her. \u2014 Her great fear was of being in the family way, \u2014 \u201cand oh if that Bates should have heard us.\u201d If she fancied any thing she would tell her mother, who had such confidence in her, she having been in her service since a girl.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"page\" title=\"Page 895\">\n<div class=\"layoutArea\">\n<div class=\"column\">\n<p>Aunt did not get better. Hannah the next day would not let me have her, but let me pull up her clothes, and see and kiss her lovely thighs at breakfast and lunch-eon. This got her lust up \u2014 for she promised if I would never ask her again, to let me into her room provided I left \u201cdirectly you have done it.\u201d \u2014 \u201cI\u2019ve had horrid dreams and a presentiment that we shall be caught.\u201d \u2014 I promised of course \u2014 but made baudy signs to the maid whenever I got the chance. A new dress and bon-net were hers \u2014 I said \u2014 if she would let me, she knew what. \u2014 \u201cNo she didn\u2019t,\u201d she replied. How wonder-fully like one adventure with a woman is to another, yet every one at the time, seem to me so fresh.<\/p>\n<p>I began to care more about having Bates than Hannah, because of the difficulty of getting her I suppose \u2014 \u201cLet me fuck you.\u201d \u201cYou\u2019re a beast,\u201d was said several times in the day. \u2014 When I came in at night, I caught hold of her clothes just outside her cunt, and repeated all in a whisper, \u201cWill you meet me on Sun-day night?\u201d \u201cYes at seven o\u2019clock if you won\u2019t annoy me any more.\u201d \u2014 I had some grog, \u2014 Hannah came down from aunt\u2019s room. \u2014 Bates brought in hot water and sugar, and she looked as modest as the Virgin prayers \u2014 but both women had heard the word fuck, a few minutes before, and I doubt not both cunts were reeking with the lewedness I had evoked.<\/p>\n<p>Hannah implored me not to go to her room. \u2014\u201dHere then against the door,\u201d because if any one came in we could have hidden our doings \u2014 but she would not, and at night the house was too quiet to force her. \u2014 \u201cI\u2019m sure something will happen,\u201d said she, \u201cand if I\u2019m found out I\u2019ll kill myself.\u201d I laughed at that, having heard it before \u2014 and said that even in her room and some one came to it, I could easily get under the bed, \u2014 and I told her of one of my escapes \u2014 and what she should do, and what I would do in that case, little thinking what was to follow.<\/p>\n<p>Later on I went cautiously from my room, peeped round the corner, and saw Hannah leave aunt\u2019s room. \u2014 She saw me and made an imploring gesture of don\u2019t come \u2014 but a stiff prick would, and after listening at&nbsp;<span style=\"font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit;\">aunt\u2019s door and being sorry to hear this time no snoring, I went to Hannah\u2019s, the door of which was open.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"page\" title=\"Page 896\">\n<div class=\"layoutArea\">\n<div class=\"column\">\n<p>\u201cMake haste and go away,\u201d said she. \u201cI am so frightened.\u201d \u2014 I was voluptuous with her and insisted on a light. \u2014 I was naked, kneeling between her legs, I had kissed her cunt and fingered it. (How well I recollect her large round thighs, and playing with her cunt and with lascivious tricks, delaying the fuck.) Then I was buried deep up her, the warm, smooth, juicy clip of her cunt was round my prick, her hands clasped my bum, mine gripped her smooth buttocks. Our tongues were joined and, fucking hard, we were half way to the ecstatic spend, when a voice feebly crying outside our door \u2014 \u201cHannah \u2014 Hannah,\u201d came to our ears.<\/p>\n<p>Hannah threw up her arms, and saying, \u201cMy God,\u201d they fell flat by her side. \u2014 In my excitement I for the moment was confused, but recovering myself, felt our danger and uncunted, and still half laying on her thighs listened. \u201cHannah \u2014 Hannah dear \u2014 I\u2019m so ill and can\u2019t make Bates hear,\u201d and the handle of the door rattled. \u201cMy God,\u201d said Hannah again in a whisper, and throwing up her arms again. \u201cHold your tongue, sham being asleep.\u201d Seizing my dressing gown I blew out the light, and got under the bed. \u2014 Hannah came to her senses \u2014 let her mother try the handle of the door again and again. \u2014 Then called out, \u201cWhat is it?\u201d and in a sleepy manner opened the door. \u2014 \u201cMy dear I\u2019m so ill and the servants\u2019 bell rope broke. Call Bates, and get me hot water.\u201d \u2014 Then her mother, who had no light, went back to her bed room and Hannah followed her, shutting the door. I gained my room unseen and waited events, peeping out at times from my door ajar.<\/p>\n<p>Hannah in her night gown came past my room to go to the servants, saying as she passed, \u201cMother\u2019s ill, take care.\u201d \u2014 I came out soon after as if awakened by noise, as I saw Bates appear. \u2014 \u201cWhat\u2019s the matter?\u201d said I. \u201cMrs. is ill,\u201d said she, and went on to aunt\u2019s bed room. How it reminded me of a similar event in my youth when my mother was taken ill, \u2014 and the way I was nearly caught in the nursemaid\u2019s room at my aunt\u2019s in H***f***shire; and thus I sat in my night clothes in my room thinking of those two escapes, and feeling my prick, which was stiff and disappointed at not having completed its exercise in Hannah\u2019s vulva.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/section>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>VOLUME 5 CHAPTER 6 My uncle\u2019s in the North. \u2022 Cousin Hannah. \u2022 Mop-sticks. \u2022 The peep in the hayfield. \u2022 At a ball. \u2022 The drive next day. \u2022 After dinner. \u2022 The drawing-room sofa. \u2022 A tale told. \u2022 Solitude, twilight, and opportunity. \u2022 Consequences. \u2022 Fear of detection. \u2022 Cunning devices. \u2022 &hellip;<\/p>\n<p class=\"read-more\"> <a class=\"\" href=\"https:\/\/mysecretlife.org\/?page_id=1559\"> <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Volume Five Chapter Six<\/span> Read More &raquo;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-1559","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mysecretlife.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1559"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mysecretlife.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mysecretlife.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mysecretlife.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mysecretlife.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1559"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/mysecretlife.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1559\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2507,"href":"https:\/\/mysecretlife.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1559\/revisions\/2507"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mysecretlife.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1559"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}