{"id":1579,"date":"2022-08-23T18:07:02","date_gmt":"2022-08-23T18:07:02","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mysecretlife.org\/?page_id=1579"},"modified":"2022-09-19T17:19:23","modified_gmt":"2022-09-19T17:19:23","slug":"volume-five-chapter-twelve","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/mysecretlife.org\/?page_id=1579","title":{"rendered":"Volume Five Chapter Twelve"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-page\" data-elementor-id=\"1579\" class=\"elementor elementor-1579\" data-elementor-settings=\"[]\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-section-wrap\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-b4a46d6 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"b4a46d6\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-50 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-e5c08c7\" data-id=\"e5c08c7\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-b4c062d elementor-widget elementor-widget-html\" data-id=\"b4c062d\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"html.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/embed\/album\/4tQwSNqGppF3e5NXsSp4yI\" width=\"300\" height=\"380\" frameborder=\"0\" allowtransparency=\"true\" allow=\"encrypted-media\"><\/iframe>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-50 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-38886ad\" data-id=\"38886ad\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-b57a6c8 elementor-widget elementor-widget-html\" data-id=\"b57a6c8\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"html.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/embed\/album\/4wW7MK9trejF1xHvlMED7D\" width=\"300\" height=\"380\" frameborder=\"0\" allowtransparency=\"true\" allow=\"encrypted-media\"><\/iframe>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-588a309 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"588a309\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-a5df189\" data-id=\"a5df189\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-043e7bf elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"043e7bf\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div style=\"color: #5d1616; font-family: Georgia, sans-serif; text-align: center;\" title=\"Page 954\"><div><div><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\"><b>VOLUME 5 CHAPTER 12<\/b><\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">Vic at J***s St. \u2022 Inspection refused. \u2022 The unknown. \u2022 An unlucky meeting. \u2022 A disappointed prick. \u2022 Sperm on a looking glass. \u2022 A red night. \u2022 Lessons in music. \u2022 A sloppy cunt. \u2022 Vic\u2019s antecedents. \u2022 A dark night in the park. \u2022 Miscellaneous gropings on chairs. \u2022 A fresh fucked cunt. \u2022 A\u00a0<i>Scotchman\u2019s sperm. \u2022 Erotic recklessness. \u2022 A young lass. \u2022 On the grass. \u2022 The lady and soldier. \u2022 Sister Peg. \u2022 Sitting on a chair. \u2022 My fingers. \u2022 Fears. \u2022 The doctor.<\/i><\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">On the Tuesday at the appointed hour, I met Victoria and took her to the same house, the scene of so much of my amorous work. \u2014 She could only stop an hour,. \u2014 must get home, \u2014 I might see that she really did go home if I doubted her. \u2014 She had evidently come for fucking, and didn\u2019t mince the matter, but she would only take her gown off and would not let me see her cunt, and got very angry, and began putting on her dress to go when I insisted. \u2014She expected I should treat her like a lady. \u2014 \u201cMy dear I\u2019ve had many ladies, and they all let me see their cunts.\u201d She didn\u2019t care, she wouldn\u2019t. I found her nicely formed, but tho looking large and full in her dress, that her flesh felt poor and flabby. \u2014 I mounted her, and found her cunt was excessively wet, but primed by three days\u2019 rest, I soon injected thick spunk, into her thin contribution. The sloppy sensation her cunt gave me, displeased me but I don\u2019t think that she had any ailment.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">She well understood the movement of her buttocks when fucking, I found, but before I had had my voluptuous repose. \u2014 \u201cTake it out \u2014 do now and let me wash,\u201d said she \u2014 and I let her.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">Again we did it, and she laid with my prick up her as if she had forgotten it. \u2014 Then suddenly out she jumped and washed, then put on her things, and got ready to go. I took her nearly home in a cab, but was not satisfied with this hurry, tho placed as she was I knew that it might be necessary. She agreed the next time to stop with me all night, her brother was to be told that she should sleep at her cousin\u2019s, whose utility I began to perceive. \u2014 I was to write to her there, if anything unforeseen occurred to prevent our meeting.<\/p><\/div><\/div><\/div><div style=\"color: #5d1616; font-family: Georgia, sans-serif; text-align: center;\" title=\"Page 955\"><div><div><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">The day came when I was again to meet my unknown. \u2014 She was such an amorous bedfellow, she so enjoyed my baudy pranks, speechless when doing them with me in her intense enjoyment, that I anticipated the day of meeting with impatience. I usually rode to and from my home and Charing Cross, but it being a clear, bright, cold day, I walked, and near to the place at which the unknown lady had descended from the omnibus on the foggy night, and I was thinking of the pleasure of the evening to come, I met the lady her-self, with a child about seven or eight years old. \u2014 We were about fifty feet off when we recognised each other. \u2014 She grasped the child\u2019s hand, and ran across the road dragging it with her in the very teeth of the carriage traffic, hurried on, never looked back, got in-to a cab and drove off rapidly, and before I could make up my mind what to do, the cab was out of sight. With a presentiment of evil, I went to the appointed spot \u2014 walked about for an hour, enquired at the house, went to the Nelson Column thinking I might have made a mistake in the place of meeting, back again to the Haymarket, and did this for three hours in a state of fury with unsatisfied lust, but she never came, and I never have seen her since. \u2014 At intervals for some days afterwards I walked all about the neighbourhood where I had met her, but never saw her. I had taken a great fancy to the lustful lady and was much mortified. \u2014 Had my accidental meeting stopped her, or had she ever intended to meet me again. \u2014 Was she single, wife, or widow. \u2014 Was her husband abroad, was she a kept woman? \u2014 That she was not a harlot was the only point about which I could make up my mind, and that she was a voluptuous, libidinous creature was certain. I wonder if a woman with a large clitoris is more lewed than others.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">I went home angry and disappointed. \u2014 Why I did not have the pleasures of a gay lady I can\u2019t tell, I often can\u2019t make out my reasons for my behaviour in sexual matters. \u2014 there was a good fire in my room. I stripped naked and my prick stood rigidly, I could think of nothing but the unknown lady, and resisted a desire to frig \u2014 but walked about with my stiff prick, admiring myself in a cheval glass, and put myself into various eccentric attitudes, looking at it all the time. \u2014 Then all constraint left me, I stood up against the glass and wetting my right hand, the tip of my prick with my spittle, I enclosed its whole length with both hands, but instead of moving them and frigging the usual way, I pushed my prick thro them as if they were a cunt, oscillating my bum,\u00a0<span style=\"font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit;\">and thinking of the unknown lady\u2019s backside and thick clitoris, and spent my sperm on to the looking glass. \u2014 Then mad with my-self for doing so went to bed. I once in my life did a similar trick.<\/span><\/p><\/div><\/div><\/div><div style=\"color: #5d1616; font-family: Georgia, sans-serif; text-align: center;\" title=\"Page 956\"><div><div><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">Vic met me on the day appointed. I took a largish travelling bag, and she had a small hand bag. Hailing a cab we drove to the **** hotel, took rooms, had dinner, and soon after went to bed. \u2014 Beyond feeling her cunt I had no indecent familiarities in the sitting room, but talked baudily, at which she professed to be shocked, \u2014 tho her face gave the lie to that; and I noticed that she had a sly habit of looking out of the corner of her eyes at me, which I didn\u2019t like. We had a good deal to talk about. \u2014 Mutual acquaintances, our childhood, and so on. When we went to the bed room and she had undressed to her chemise, said she, \u201cI declare my poorliness has just come on.\u201d I am certain she must have known it was her time. And was a beast to have come to me.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">I could never bear a woman in that state \u2014 and swore. She began to whimper, \u2014 it wasn\u2019t late, and she would go home. \u2014 I had been keeping myself chaste for days \u2014 so would not hear of her going \u2014 and spite of her ailments, fucked her two or three times. I dissembled my annoyance, but was glad when in the morning I had put her into a cab. I had never looked at her cunt, or attempted it. \u2014 We arranged to meet that day week again, when her courses would be over, she insisted they had come on suddenly.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">The day came, we went to another hotel and to bed early. I found her limbs and bum fleshy looking, but very flabby to the feel, but her breasts were large, and her skin white, which made a good show. We quarrelled because she would not let me see her cunt, and I only had a glimpse of her motte which had plenty of a lightish brown hair on it.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">She enjoyed her tailing. Her cunt was very roomy, easy, and wet, and got very wet directly my prick was well up her, and it hurt her when I pushed with vigor. After the first washing \u2014 she washed no more \u2014 and talking with her, in a jocular way I remarked that the reason why she would not let me see her belly and cunt was that she had had a family. \u2014 It was no business of mine if she had, she remarked in an offended manner, but of course she had nothing of the sort, it was an insult to suppose that she had.<\/p><\/div><\/div><\/div><div style=\"color: #5d1616; font-family: Georgia, sans-serif; text-align: center;\" title=\"Page 957\"><div><div><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">A day or two afterwards I called on her brother and had tea there. \u2014 She played on the piano most brilliantly \u2014 it was exquisite \u2014 I made an assignation and we met a few days after, when I did all the fucking I could in an hour and a half. \u2014 Then she disclosed to me under pledge of secrecy \u2014 that she could not bear living with her brother, and that weekly she came, unknown to him, to a musical professor, to learn the rudiments and the art of teaching the piano, intending to go back to her aunt and give lessons in a neighbouring town when she was proficient.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">I met her a few times after that in a hurried manner, and then had another night with her. She drank wine rather freely, and told me about the death of her intended, the night before her marriage, and that he had had her, that the fear of its being found out, after his death, drove her for awhile out of her senses. He had only done it to her three times, and she had never had any other man but him, and myself, \u2014 which I don\u2019t quite believe. I asked her what I should buy her, for I had never given her any present. She named something, but said she would rather buy it herself. \u2014 Her brother kept her very short of money, so I gave it. Soon after. \u201cWhat will you do if I\u2019m in the family way?\u201d \u2014 Staggered at the question put suddenly \u2014 \u201cGet out of it,\u201d I re-plied. \u2014 \u201cHow?\u201d \u2014 I told her what I knew \u2014 she smiled and said, \u201cYou don\u2019t know much about it.\u201d \u2014 \u201cI\u2019ve got a dozen or two with child tho.\u201d \u2014 \u201cPerhaps you have, but you didn\u2019t get rid of them \u2014 If I am with child you\u2019ll keep it won\u2019t you?\u201d \u201cIf it\u2019s really mine and you wish it, certainly.\u201d \u201cI don\u2019t wish it, and you won\u2019t be bothered about it \u2014 but you\u2019ve given me a child, and I expect you have done so to many.\u201d \u2014 Then she told me such a lot about myself and my home, and disclosed that one of our dismissed servants had lived with her brother as servant, and every bit of tittle tattle that had been told by servant to servant for years, had come to her ears. \u2014 A precious libertine I was made out to be, but Vic did not wonder at it. This is the second time friends have heard scandal from servants I had dismissed, as I think I have said elsewhere here before, but am not sure.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">Not being able to see her cunt, for she still refused that, I got intensely curious about it. I felt it continually, put my fingers up, and tried to compare my sensations as my prick went up it with those I felt when probing other ladies, \u2014 and am sure hers was an extremely large, loose article, and with but little of the muscular grip of most cunts, even when she spent. Moreover it got awfully wet, almost sloppy, and I began not to\u00a0<span style=\"font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit;\">care about her but didn\u2019t know how to break off the liaison. As I became indifferent, she seemed quite the re-verse, began to name days frequently, and I had to make excuses. \u2014 The London season was on, and tho at home leading a life absolutely apart, we kept up externals, and went into society at times together, and I by myself a great deal, \u2014 so I got off meeting Vic on those grounds. Then she turned indignant. Had she thought I should behave so, she would never have met me. Our acquaintance dragged on till July, and then I went abroad and all ended.<\/span><\/p><\/div><\/div><\/div><div style=\"color: #5d1616; font-family: Georgia, sans-serif; text-align: center;\" title=\"Page 958\"><div><div><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">Seeing her less, I had Camille once or twice; but ready for any opportunity, I soon picked up a plump servant out of place, and had her at intervals, and at one time I had three women on hand, at this period.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">One thoroughly dark, dry, night, going across a park soon after darkness had set in, a woman accosted me. \u2014 I adjourned to beneath a large tree and felt her cunt. \u201cFetch that girl,\u201d said I, as another woman passed near me. She did and I felt her, and then a couple more, at a shilling a feel. I could not see who, or what they were like, but found them coarse and common. \u2014 I was that night a little in wine and thrilling with lust. \u201cYour cunt\u2019s not clean,\u201d said I to one. \u201cI\u2019ve just been fucked,\u201d said she. \u201cWhere do you hick?\u201d asked I, in perfect ignorance. \u201cAny where \u2014 on the chairs \u2014 on the grass, or against the trees, or the hurdles. \u2014 Look, there is a couple fucking there.\u201d \u2014 I looked and in the dim light saw by a tree a man sitting on a chair, and a woman in a sitting posture moving up and down on him; looking on the other side I could see a couple standing up at work. No, the policemen never came, they were away from the road. why should policemen interfere, said the two park whores.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">\u201cLet me fuck you,\u201d said one. \u2014 I declined tho well nigh bursting \u2014 fearing disease in such poor creatures whom I thought could have but the commonest men. The couple fucking on my right moved away, and the place was taken immediately by others. \u201cThere is plenty of fucking to night,\u201d said the woman who now remained by me, hoping I suppose I should have her. \u2014 \u201cI should like to see them doing it closer.\u201d \u2014 \u201cCome up to the tree then, they won\u2019t mind, stand back a minute, directly he\u2019s got his prick up her \u2014 he won\u2019t notice anything, and we\u2019ll go close.\u201d<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">We walked rapidly to the rear, then up to the back of the tree, seeing clearer and clearer and the woman moving up and down as if pumping. As we got close she ceased, and the man went off almost at a run. \u2014\u00a0<span style=\"font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit;\">\u201cThey have been quick, she\u2019s got a cunt full I\u2019ll bet,\u201d said my woman. \u2014 \u201cHas he fucked you Polly?\u201d \u201cRather,\u201d the woman replied.<\/span><\/p><\/div><\/div><\/div><div style=\"color: #5d1616; font-family: Georgia, sans-serif; text-align: center;\" title=\"Page 959\"><div><div><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">Baudy wishes all in conflict, all in tumult rushed through me. I scarcely knew what I wanted or did, \u201cLet me feel your wet cunt,\u201d said I, and the next moment my hand was on it. It was like a paste pot (my old simile, and I know no better) and half way down her thighs was the same. Astonished at the quantity and feel, \u201cHe has spent a lot,\u201d said I. \u201cHe\u2019s a Scotchman,\u201d said she, \u201cthey always spend a lot and quick, they doesn\u2019t do it to a gal till they can\u2019t keep it in their balls no longer,\u201d said my woman. \u201cAnd then wants it for nothing,\u201d said the other. \u201cYes they always wants it for nothing,\u201d echoed my woman, \u201ccheap suits \u2019em, but they ain\u2019t long about it.\u201d I groped and groped, \u2014 till the spunk, by my feeling it drying up, almost glued my fingers to her cunt. \u2014 \u201cDamned if you aren\u2019t made me hot, messing me about, fuck me.\u201d \u201cNo \u2014 no, I can\u2019t,\u201d but I buried al-most my whole hand in her cunt, thinking of the man fucking, and almost out of my senses with lust. Then suddenly reflecting, I withdrew my hand, wiped it on her chemise, gave them both silver and moved off rapidly, surprised and disgusted with myself, spitting on my hand and rubbing it hard then with my handkerchief; and at length on the grass where no one would see me, pissing over my hand to purify it.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">Getting nearly across the park, and in sight of the entrance, my lust suddenly returned and I thought I should like to see more. The continual sight of coition going on had affected me lewedly, and with all my knowledge of London and experience of life, I had never before known of such amorous games being played nightly in the open, by many hundreds; so I walked back nearly to the same spot, and watched couple after couple go and fuck in the dim distance, and largely verified what the park whore had told me about the vast amount of nightly copulation there. She said a thousand fucked nightly.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">Then with prick painfully rigid, and almost with an aching in my testicles, inciting me to ease them I walked away. It was not about a quarter to ten, and I had not gone far before I met a shortish girl who seemed one of the host of Paphians. For some reason, I know not what, I fancied and accosted her, and made her an offer to feel her cunt. She moved away from me. \u2014 \u201cNo,\u201d she wouldn\u2019t. \u2014 I laid hold of her arm, for her refusal stimulated my lust \u2014 \u201cLet me feel your cunt and I\u2019ll give you<span style=\"font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit;\">****.\u201d \u201cNo I won\u2019t go that way, my sister\u2019s there, and I don\u2019t want her to catch me.\u201d<\/span><\/p><\/div><\/div><\/div><div style=\"color: #5d1616; font-family: Georgia, sans-serif; text-align: center;\" title=\"Page 960\"><div><div><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">We went then across the grass, across walks, and by some hurdles, a long, long, way where it was quite solitude, dark, and close to a plantation; and I felt there the girl\u2019s cunt, which was tight, and had but little hair on it \u2014 and I knew she was quite young by that, tho I scarcely seen her face; and whilst feeling I questioned her.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">She was sixteen, her sister was gay, was in the park every night, and she wanted \u201cto see about,\u201d like her. \u2014 But her sister had driven her back home, and hit her, and told her mother. She had as much right as her sister to be in the park. \u2014 She liked to be there \u201cand watch the couples doing it.\u201d \u2014 She\u2019d never had it done to her in the park, excepting by her young man who had done it to her for now a month, but he didn\u2019t give her anything for it. She worked at envelope folding, and was tired of that.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">Feeling her tight little cunt and the little hair on her motte, and noticing her manner, I believed mainly what she said, and do now, credulous as I am about women\u2019s tales of themselves. \u2014 I frigged her \u2014 and talked about the couples fucking. \u2014 Desisting \u2014\u201dGo on rubbing me,\u201d said she. \u2014 \u201cLet\u2019s fuck you,\u201d said I (all prudence gone), \u201con the grass, it\u2019s quite dry.\u201d \u2014 Down she laid at once, and in one of the tightest little cunts I ever had, and in a short time, and with exquisite delight, I spent my spermatic juices, \u2014 and she spent with. \u201cDo you like fucking?\u201d said I. \u201cI love fucking, and why shouldn\u2019t I do it like my sister, and get money like her, she\u2019s always telling me about it.\u201d Her naivety was charming.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">Still lustful, \u2014 charmed with the oddity and novelty of the night\u2019s excitement, and standing up, I felt the tightness of her vagina even with my lubrication, and gave her my prick to feel. \u2014 We scarcely spoke, \u2014 each was intent only on stimulating the other. \u2014 Then came the old idea into my head. \u2014 \u201cIs my prick bigger than your young man\u2019s?\u201d \u201cOh much bigger, and longer, \u2014 but he isn\u2019t older than I am, not quite as old, he aren\u2019t sixteen \u2014 and he aren\u2019t much taller than me, \u2014 Oh! \u2014 isn\u2019t it getting big again.\u201d \u201cLie down.\u201d \u2014 Down she went like a shot, and my prick felt as tightly enclosed in her cunt as if it had been grasped by a fist, and we soon spent again. How the little lass enjoyed it there was no sham.<\/p><\/div><\/div><\/div><div style=\"color: #5d1616; font-family: Georgia, sans-serif; text-align: center;\" title=\"Page 961\"><div><div><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">The last drop of my sperm had barely jetted up her cunt, when \u2014 \u201cOh there\u2019s some one dead\u201d \u2014 and a slight shriek of a female roused us. \u2014 We got up. \u2014 A man laughed. \u201cIt\u2019s a couple at it,\u201d said he, and a tall woman and a soldier in red (that I could see) passed us. Her petticoats rubbed against me and a foot nearer and she would have trodden on us. \u2014 They passed out of sight in an instant. \u2014 \u201cThey are going to fuck,\u201d said I. \u2014 \u201cYes \u2014 I likes to see them doing it,\u201d said my companion. When Peg\u2019s gone, I comes into the park and watches them sometimes, and sometimes my young man comes, and we watches together \u2014 and then he does it to me, but he lives two miles off, and can\u2019t always get away.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">I gave her a lot of silver, which overwhelmed her, but I didn\u2019t leave, for talking to her had a singular charm for me. \u2014 She told me all about the couples in the park. Where and how they copulated, and the price paid, \u2014 Her sister, said she, told her everything, yet wanted seemingly to prevent her from practising the art of sperm drawing. \u2014 The small price accepted for their favours, \u2014 and the number of men that a woman sometimes had nightly \u2014 was a revelation to me, and I did not quite believe it. I do now for I have heard much since.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">Time went on. \u2014 I heard a clock strike. My desire for feeling her cunt and my own sperm seemed insatiable, and we talked on, and all about park whoring, till I determined to have her on a chair, as I had seen couples in the park for the first time in my life that night.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">So I led her to the spot, and selecting a chair furthest seemingly from the spot most frequented by copulators, \u2014 I sat on it, and lifting her clothes, I put my peg into her. She clumsily rose and fell at first, but nature soon taught her. She spent, received my injection in her cunt, and sat on my prick till it left her, and then kissed me. \u201cLet us go further off,\u201d said she \u2014 I think my sister\u2019s about here, and I must get home before she does.\u201d She never fucked that way before, and I never had done it like that in the open.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">I found now that I had not a bit of silver left, but was charmed with the little fuckstress, and \u201cGive me the silver back,\u201d said I, \u201cand I\u2019ll give you half a sovereign for it.\u201d \u2014 She did \u2014 but suspicious. \u201cIt\u2019s real gold ain\u2019t it?\u201d \u201cGo to a gas lamp and look and I\u2019ll wait here for you.\u201d \u201cNo \u2014 I won\u2019t, and you must be a real gentleman, and I\u2019ll be here tomorrow night, will you come to me?\u201d said she. \u201cNo \u2014 You keep away and work, it\u2019s best for\u00a0<span style=\"font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit;\">you.\u201d \u201cI shan\u2019t, I only gets nine pence a day, and walks three miles there, and three miles back. \u2014 I\u2019m tired on it.\u201d<\/span><\/p><\/div><\/div><\/div><div style=\"color: #5d1616; font-family: Georgia, sans-serif; text-align: center;\" title=\"Page 962\"><div><div><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">I got home, my lust fever over, and in a terrible state of disgust with myself. I scrubbed my hand over and over again, I washed my prick and rubbed it till it was sore. When I have had such a mortal fear of disease I don\u2019t recollect. \u2014 Not since my boyhood I think. It was Pox-Pox, I dreaded. I soaked my hand next day in strong soda, plugged my nails with soap, then brushed it out, and was for some days in terror. Then I fancied my prick sore, and went to a doctor. I would not for days touch food with the hand which had paddled in the Scotchman\u2019s sperm, \u2014 and I had Victoria with fear lest I should disease her. It was a fortnight before my mind righted itself, and then I was still disgusted with myself for feeling the spermatized cunt of he park doxy. Yet with this I had a strange desire to see how a cunt looked, as well as felt, with another man\u2019s sperm in it. I have often desired to see that lately.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">[This was a lewed interlude, had without intention. Curiosity begat curiosity, which begat lust, strong, unreflecting, unconscious, and unmanageable. \u2014 Yet now I say what harm was there in it, what evil did I do to anyone \u2014 what to myself? \u2014 As a series of lewed, and sequential impulses, the affair seems to me now a psychological phenomenon, and nothing more.]<\/p><\/div><\/div><\/div>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>VOLUME 5 CHAPTER 12 Vic at J***s St. \u2022 Inspection refused. \u2022 The unknown. \u2022 An unlucky meeting. \u2022 A disappointed prick. \u2022 Sperm on a looking glass. \u2022 A red night. \u2022 Lessons in music. \u2022 A sloppy cunt. \u2022 Vic\u2019s antecedents. \u2022 A dark night in the park. \u2022 Miscellaneous gropings on chairs. &hellip;<\/p>\n<p class=\"read-more\"> <a class=\"\" href=\"https:\/\/mysecretlife.org\/?page_id=1579\"> <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Volume Five Chapter Twelve<\/span> Read More &raquo;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-1579","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mysecretlife.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1579"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mysecretlife.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mysecretlife.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mysecretlife.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mysecretlife.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1579"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/mysecretlife.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1579\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2552,"href":"https:\/\/mysecretlife.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1579\/revisions\/2552"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mysecretlife.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1579"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}