{"id":1651,"date":"2022-08-25T18:09:47","date_gmt":"2022-08-25T18:09:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mysecretlife.org\/?page_id=1651"},"modified":"2022-09-21T17:08:55","modified_gmt":"2022-09-21T17:08:55","slug":"volume-six-chapter-eleven","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/mysecretlife.org\/?page_id=1651","title":{"rendered":"Volume Six Chapter Eleven"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-page\" data-elementor-id=\"1651\" class=\"elementor elementor-1651\" data-elementor-settings=\"[]\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-section-wrap\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-415ed86 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"415ed86\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-50 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-888f294\" data-id=\"888f294\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-9e7cdb6 elementor-widget elementor-widget-html\" data-id=\"9e7cdb6\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"html.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/embed\/album\/4vv1PVwrUSFm2C6EYjbdk0\" width=\"300\" height=\"380\" frameborder=\"0\" allowtransparency=\"true\" allow=\"encrypted-media\"><\/iframe>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-50 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-a6ed9ad\" data-id=\"a6ed9ad\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-2423c23 elementor-widget elementor-widget-html\" data-id=\"2423c23\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"html.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/embed\/album\/5M0ham4bmjIWfZKqrSSoZn\" width=\"300\" height=\"380\" frameborder=\"0\" allowtransparency=\"true\" allow=\"encrypted-media\"><\/iframe>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-5a7443c elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"5a7443c\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-85989ff\" data-id=\"85989ff\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-8838fea elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"8838fea\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div style=\"color: #4b1212; font-family: Georgia, sans-serif; text-align: center;\" title=\"Page 1161\"><div><div><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\"><b>VOLUME 6 CHAPTER 11<\/b><\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\"><i>At Cremorne. \u2022 Amelia German. \u2022 A fair-haired beauty. \u2022 A voluptuous bed-fellow. \u2022 Tongues and lips. \u2022 Small entrance, large interior. \u2022 Her house and her captain. \u2022 Mrs. A*t*n the house-keeper. \u2022 The house-keeper alone. \u2022 Why does she sleep with Amelia. \u2022 Reasons suggested. \u2022 Mrs. A., on the sofa. \u2022 Hesitation and consummation. \u2022 Regrets after fucking. \u2022 Mrs. A\u2019s history. \u2022 On Sapphic tastes. \u2022 Mrs. A*t*n at a brothel. \u2022 A telltale belly. \u2022 Amelia with child. \u2022 A*t*n\u2019s produce. \u2022 Still-born or murdered? \u2022 House-keeper departs. \u2022 Gamahuching in a new attitude. \u2022 Repetition. \u2022 Liking and disliking. \u2022 Amelia\u2019s accouchement. \u2022 She disappears.<\/i><\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">At Cremorne one night late in the summer, I saw a tall, fine woman, whom I mistook for a German. Her hair was of a darkish, half flaxen hue, tho not flaxen. It was a colour I did not admire, but it seemed in her very handsome, and to suit her \u2022 face, which was round, with a thickish, but prettily retrousse nose, sweet, languishing, half-sleepy, blue eyes, and pouting lips, such as I love; in a small mouth full of fine teeth. She had a lovely, transparent, white complexion, tho too white and colourless perhaps. She had a quite unusual graceful, undulating motion in her haunches, indeed of her whole body as she walked. Not a vulgar swing of her rump, which some women affect, but quite an easy movement. It was as if the bum was too heavy for her legs. But the graceful undulations seemed to go over all her body. I went home with her to the extreme west of London.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">I have blotted out her surname on my notes, and al-tho I visited her at intervals quite two years cannot now recollect it. Her Christian name was Amelia, and I call her Amelia German, on account of her German, or perhaps Hollandish look.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">She stripped, and in doing that, her movements were graceful, and I found her as I expected, beautiful in form, with thighs which were a perfect model, and a large, tho not overpowering backside. Her cunt was not very hairy. It was small, delicate looking, and retained somewhat the pink or coral tint of youth, and this made it very pretty, coupled with the\u00a0<span style=\"font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit;\">light coloured fringe. The colour however was much darker than that of the hair of her head. Clitoris and nymphae were small, and delicate, and barely shewed through the full lipped slit. Altogether, it was sweetly pretty, and scarcely looked like the cunt of a full grown woman of two and twenty.<\/span><\/p><\/div><\/div><\/div><div style=\"color: #4b1212; font-family: Georgia, sans-serif; text-align: center;\" title=\"Page 1162\"><div><div><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">I slept with her, and found her a most charming bed-fellow. She had much of the manner of fucking that Camille has. \u2014 A slowish, reciprocating movement of her haunches to my thrusts, and when spending, no violent action (which I hate in a woman), but a sort of squeezing, prick engulphing, wriggle of her cunt, and heave up of her backside, which was most exquisite. When found in other women I expect I have always told of it. We both slept stark naked, for her body was of exquisite plumpness, yet without fat. Her mouth and teeth had first attracted me and I fastened on it. I could scarcely keep my tongue from her mouth, nor she her tongue from mine, for she liked that sensuous junction of the mouth as much as I do, when I get the mouth I like. At my wish she did not wash after copulation, she did not care to if she liked the man, she said. I fucked her to my utmost and passed a most delicious night. We both slept profoundly till about eleven o\u2019clock next day. Kissing her in the morning, I said to her, \u201cYou spent with me always.\u201d \u2014 \u201cI don\u2019t know who wouldn\u2019t spend with you, your way of doing it would make any woman spend if she liked men at all,\u201d she replied. She was one of those who didn\u2019t use language either baudy or blasphemous. Yet she was lustful, full of juice, and as greedy of sperm, as well nigh any woman I ever yet have had. A strong, healthy woman, in the very prime of life, and quietly fond of all voluptuousness.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">I had her a night or two after, and then satisfied by a more careful look, that which I had fancied by fingering and fucking her before, that the opening of her vagina, or mouth of the prick tube, was very small, and that immediately the mouth was passed, it grew if anything larger than it usually is in women. As I fucked, I found that sensation of undue capacity even round my prick. At a future day, I noticed this particularly at the second poke, if she had not washed my sperm out. It was the smallness, and the shape of this opening of the vagina, which helped to make her cunt look so pretty. She told me it had been noticed by most of her friends, and she seemed very proud of it, for when I looked at her cunt as I always did before entering it, \u201cIsn\u2019t it small?\u201d she used\u00a0<span style=\"font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit;\">frequently to say in a gratified tone. I once before had a woman who was proud of her smallness there. I never told Amelia that her cunt inside was extra sized. I never do anything which may vex or wound a woman I like, or cause her to think I am not quite satisfied with her charms. I have known many women much offended by remarks of mine about their person, remarks made quite innocently by me. Many gay women are as proud of their cunts as they are of their faces.<\/span><\/p><\/div><\/div><\/div><div style=\"color: #4b1212; font-family: Georgia, sans-serif; text-align: center;\" title=\"Page 1163\"><div><div><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">She was a voluptuous creature, and enjoyed my embraces much. I had ample signs of that and am not deceiving myself. She was not a talkative person either, and had a soft voice which I like. We used to pass much time when together, in billing and cooing, as it may be termed: for once on her bed, our mouths joined and our tongues set to work, and we did nothing else for a long while. We licked each others teeth, wetted copiously our lips with saliva, and rubbed them together till they dried, every now and then just protruding the tips of our tongues and all as silently as possible. \u2014 \u201cYou\u2019ve a lovely mouth, Mealy.\u201d \u2014 \u201cAnd so have you, and the sweetest breath.\u201d This was repeated often enough, just as if both were spooning. I don\u2019t usually take the wet mouth of women of her class, or of any woman, unless I like the look of their mouths; tho wet kissing of that sort, I love intensely now, and it is most exciting to me, and makes my cock stand without handling it.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">She was skilled also in prolonging our sexual enjoyments. \u201cLay quiet in me, dear\u201d \u2014 this was often said when my prick was up her, and quiet I used to lay as long as my prick let me, but it was an imperious organ. \u201cOh, don\u2019t move it,\u201d she would murmur through our wet lips and tongues, when voluptuously slabbering each other. Then when she spent, the pupils of her eyes disappeared, the white only could be seen, her mouth opened quite wide, and she breathed short, and hard, for a second or two. But before the spend had quite finished, her liquid lips were joined to mine again, giving subtle enjoyment, till the luscious enervation came on. In fact she was gifted by nature with the art of love, and loved the art, tho she never seemed baudy, nor talked it. Then I began to take to her, then resisted myself\u2014no more affection for me if I can help it.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">She had a nice ten-roomed house, well furnished. I found after a week, that she inhabited it all herself, and there was no lodger in it. Then I found that her rent was paid by Captain * * * * * of the * * * Infantry, the\u00a0<span style=\"font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit;\">son of a Baronet and his heir. He was very fond of her, and came up to see her as often as he could. At the time I speak of, he was at Aldershot. This information was given me one day, when I said I was going to call on her. She begged me not as she would be engaged for a week. On other occasions that also occurred and then she told me further why. I saw, after I was better acquainted with her, his photograph, and also of that of his father\u2019s house. At a later date she shewed me photos of his sisters. All were taken by the same man in the country. (Photography then was not in its present state of perfection.) He promised he would marry her, she told me. I have a faculty in getting the confidences of gay women, and without soliciting it. \u2014 How many have asked my advice in their troubles, and in the belief that they have no true friend in their own sex.<\/span><\/p><\/div><\/div><\/div><div style=\"color: #4b1212; font-family: Georgia, sans-serif; text-align: center;\" title=\"Page 1164\"><div><div><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">She had at that time living with her, a woman whom she called her house-keeper and companion. A fine, well grown woman, about twenty- eight or thirty years old seemingly, and in tone and manner, quite superior to what is usually found in the house of a gay woman. In fact a gentle-woman. This very much astonished me. In bed with Amelia one night, after a champagne supper, and we had fucked once, talking about the house-keeper, she told me that she had been a governess, but had lost her position, and had had a child. Her manners indeed were quite those of a lady. When I called she placed a chair for me, and left the room in quite a different manner from a servant.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">I did not always tell Amelia when I should be with her, but took my chance, calling sometimes even in the morning, but mostly in the afternoon or evening. Some-times I waited an hour or two for her, if she happened to be out, or engaged. I don\u2019t recollect her being with a man at home when I called, more than once, and think that two or three men mainly supported her. She told me one night that a married man was very good to her.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">I had known her somewhere about two months, when one evening now quite late in the autumn I called. She was out and would not be in for an hour or two, would I call again. I preferred waiting. The companion who had opened the door to me saying that both servants were out (as was at times the case), was leaving the room. It was cold and there was a fire in the parlour, and thinking of her comfort only I said, \u201cYou can stay, unless you have a fire in the drawing-room.\u201d \u2014 No, there was no fire, but she\u00a0<span style=\"font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit;\">could go to the kitchen. At my request she stayed in the parlour. We began talking, and I thought she looked very nice. She was a dark eyed, dark haired woman, tallish like her mistress, and was dressed nicely in a quiet coloured silk. I began whilst conversing, to think over what had been told me about her having had a child. I wondered whether she was fucked by any one now, and arrived at the conclusion, that a fine woman like her in the prime of life, would not go without conjunction with the male, whatever might be said about her chastity to the contrary. No cunt can refuse a prick when once it has had it. Amelia had said, she was sure she was quite steady, having had enough of men, and being disgusted with him whose cock had produced her child, brought her to grief, and neglected her afterwards. How could a gay woman believe that?<\/span><\/p><\/div><\/div><\/div><div style=\"color: #4b1212; font-family: Georgia, sans-serif; text-align: center;\" title=\"Page 1165\"><div><div><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">I got lewed. \u201cSit nearer the fire, it\u2019s cold out there.\u201d She drew near it, and so did I. Something in her movement brought the easy swing of the haunches of her mistress to my mind. I had been longing to talk about love matters, but didn\u2019t know how to begin, had one of those stupid ignorant ideas about its not being fair, that her mistress would be told and mischief made, and so on, as if I had not as much right to poke the maid, as the mistress. But I was fondish of Amelia. This movement of her companion\u2019s haunches destroyed all such thoughts, and I burst out, \u2014 \u201cYour bum moves just like your mistress\u2019 \u201d (tho it was not a bit like it). \u201cDoes it?\u201d said she, laughing. \u2014 \u201cYes, and I expect it\u2019s the same size.\u201d \u2014 \u201cThere\u2019s not much difference when we are both naked.\u201d \u201cReally? I should like to see.\u201d \u2014 She never replied, but shook her head, laughing quietly all the while to herself.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">I drew close to the tender and put my feet on it \u2014 \u201cPut your feet up, Mrs. A*t*n (She was spoken of always as Mrs.). \u2014 She did. \u2014 \u201cLift your clothes and give it a warm.\u201d \u2014 \u201cI\u2019m warm enough.\u201d \u2014 \u201cI\u2019m too hot,\u201d said I, adjusting my prick in my trousers, for it was stiffening, and could not rise up owing to my drawers, and I pulled it about outside my trousers, in such manner that she must have known the reason, for she laughed, then stopped herself and looked demure. But I\u2019d made her want to open her thighs I was sure, lust is so contagious, words raise ideas, ideas heat cock and cunt quickly.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">\u201cDid any man sleep with Mrs. German last night?\u201d I asked. I had been several times in the room with the house-keeper before, but had never\u00a0<span style=\"font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit;\">asked any question, knowing that I should only get a lie in reply. \u2014 \u201cNo.\u201d \u2014 \u201cSomeone did, now.\u201d \u2014 \u201cYes, some one did.\u201d \u201cYou told me just now no one did.\u201d \u2014 \u201cOh no I didn\u2019t, you said a man \u2014 I slept with Mrs. German;\u201d \u2014 She told me that when her mistress was alone, she slept with her, and that was most frequently, for that she only let one or two men sleep all night with her.<\/span><\/p><\/div><\/div><\/div><div style=\"color: #4b1212; font-family: Georgia, sans-serif; text-align: center;\" title=\"Page 1166\"><div><div><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">Then I rattled on, forgetting quite that I was waiting for Mrs. German \u2014 did they sleep naked together as I did with her? Had she as little hair down there as her mistress? I knew it was dark whilst Amelia\u2019s was light. Did she cuddle her? \u2014 Mrs. A*t*n answered those, and a lot of other questions, quite discreetly and evasively, said she slept with her because she was timid. She did her hair \u2014 dried her after her bath, did all sorts of things for her to make her comfortable, for she had been very kind to her. I hesitated to say it, but at length, \u2014 \u201cYou\u2019ve seen her cunt I expect.\u201d \u2014 \u201cOf course.\u201d \u2014 \u201cYou\u2019ve frigged her.\u201d \u2014 \u201cDon\u2019t be a beast and ask me such questions,\u201d said Mrs. * * * *, all on a sudden turning half indignant. \u201cWell, don\u2019t tell Amelia what I\u2019ve been saying.\u201d \u2014 \u201cIt\u2019s not likely that I shall.\u201d<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">That somehow encouraged me. I got up and kissed her. \u201cDon\u2019t tell her that,\u201d and I tried a feel. \u2014 \u201cDon\u2019t be foolish sir,\u201d \u2014 \u201cLet me, my prick\u2019s bursting, and I can\u2019t wait for Mrs. German \u2014 look.\u201d \u2014 Out I pulled my pego on a state of high inflammation, \u2014 \u201cDon\u2019t you now be foolish \u2014 I won\u2019t feel it. \u2014 She\u2019ll be in directly, or the servants will, \u2014 Don\u2019t \u2014 I\u2019ll tell her \u2014 now don\u2019t you.\u201d \u2014 I was standing up now. She still sitting with feet on the fender. I stooped quickly, ran my left hand up her petticoats, and touched her cunt in a trice, holding her back in the chair with my right hand whilst I felt with the other. She did not resist much, did not even close her thighs, and my hand easily covered the whole slit from clitoris to vagina. I kissed on and fumbled about, and thrust a finger up her cunt for a minute, she half laughing. Then she closed her thighs. \u2014 \u201cNo, leave off, that\u2019s enough, you did not come here for that.\u201d<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">Relinquishing her quim, \u201cLet\u2019s do it,\u201d I said. \u2014 \u201cNo, that I won\u2019t.\u201d \u2014 \u201cYou shall.\u201d \u2014 \u201cMrs. German may come in at any minute.\u201d \u2014 Well she can\u2019t get in with-out ringing.\u201d \u2014 \u201cYes she can, she has the latch key.\u201d \u2014 \u201cI\u2019ll bolt the street door.\u201d \u2014 She didn\u2019t say no. \u2014 I bolted it, and returned.<br \/>She now was standing by the table, I pulled her on to the sofa and felt her\u00a0<span style=\"font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit;\">cunt again. \u2014 \u201cYou\u2019ll never tell Amelia.\u201d \u2014 \u201cNever, how can you think I should be such an ass.\u201d \u2014 \u201cI don\u2019t know about that.\u201d \u2014 Not another word she spoke, but laid hold of my prick which had been out all the time, we kissed, she laid in a hurry almost her length on the sofa, I threw up her clothes, saw that it was a dark, fully haired cunt, as I guessed it must be and the next minute my prick was at work up it we were fucking energetically, and finished our pleasures at the same moment. \u2014 Said she as she arose. \u2014 \u201cIf Amelia knew about this, she\u2019d turn me out the next minute \u2014 so don\u2019t you do me that harm, God knows I\u2019ve had enough misery.\u201d<\/span><\/p><\/div><\/div><\/div><div style=\"color: #4b1212; font-family: Georgia, sans-serif; text-align: center;\" title=\"Page 1167\"><div><div><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">I felt immediately as if I had been treacherous to Amelia. \u2014 Of course that was very foolish, but I did. \u2014 Mrs. A*t*n went to the kitchen and washed her cunt, came up, sat down on the sofa, and said that if her mistress was not home soon, probably she wouldn\u2019t be home till late, as she had gone to dine with a friend, and might go from there to the Argyle rooms, but I had better leave. \u2014 I wouldn\u2019t go. \u2014 If she came in she could say I hadn\u2019t been there long. \u201cWe\u2019ll do it again.\u201d \u2014 Mrs. A. was of opinion evidently, that in for a penny in for a pound was a good motto, and tho she had told me to go, was awaiting another cunt basting. She wouldn\u2019t undress, but all that could be seen by lifting her petticoats above her waist I saw. All I could see and feel by loosening her dress above, I did. I investigated her cunt, held a candle to look at it, and a good, bold looking cock trap it was. She helped me quite willingly in my inspection for she had nothing to hide, till I took a candle. Then she resisted. Directly I had satisfied my eye-sight, \u2014 \u201cYou\u2019d better make haste,\u201d she said, and laid down with thighs wide open. She was either hot cunted or fearful of her mistress returning, and I think both, but certainly hot cunted \u2014 and as I feared being interrupted by Amelia\u2019s return I shagged her again at once.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">\u201cYou like fucking jolly well,\u201d \u2014 I remarked. \u2014 \u201cWho doesn\u2019t, but it\u2019s brought me to grief, I\u2019d vowed never to let a man again.\u201d \u2014 \u201cGammon, my dear.\u201d \u2014 Her re-mark might have been a pumper \u2014 and I had promised Amelia never to tell her companion what she had told me about her and never did. Then Mrs. A*** begged me to go. The servants would certainly be in soon, if I went off at once she should never say I had even called, that would be best, and I was never to tell Mrs. Amelia\u00a0<span style=\"font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit;\">about my having done so. Off I went, called at the Argyle, saw Amelia there, told her I had merely looked in to see her, and went home.<\/span><\/p><\/div><\/div><\/div><div style=\"color: #4b1212; font-family: Georgia, sans-serif; text-align: center;\" title=\"Page 1168\"><div><div><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">Soon after, in conversation with Amelia, she told me that she felt timid, and frightened of being robbed or worse if she slept by herself, and that Mrs. A*t*n usually slept with her. \u201cDoes she gamahuche you?\u201d \u2014 Amelia gave me a slap. \u2014 \u201cOh you beast, no. \u2014 I don\u2019t like women \u2014 I like poking too well.\u201d \u2014 Certainly she did that, there was no mistake about her voluptuous delight in coition, nor in her spending freely with me, but then might she not have liked the other variety of lustful enjoyment as well?<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">I told Amelia that I saw no objection to women amusing each other sexually if they liked, but she affected dislike \u2014 or really felt it. Did she? These thoughts only occur to me as I think over matters, and write this narrative, and [still more as I revise them after many years], Amelia was a quietly voluptuous woman, Venus in all ways pleased her I am sure, and it is more than probable that she had Sapphic tastes as well as lechery for men, tho the double taste I believe is unusual, but there are such singular sexual idiosyncrasies. \u2014 If she liked a woman for lustful games, it did not prevent her getting in the family way by a man.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">Other females, however, had my caresses. I did not keep to Amelia, nor disguise that from her. Then I went abroad (I put this part of my narrative separately) and when I returned, Amelia was in the family way by her captain. In vain I told her before it was too late that she had better get rid of the foetus. No, she was delighted. \u2014 It was his, he knew it was his \u2014 he had stopped with her an entire month \u2014 she had had no other man all that time, and he wished for a child by her, said he would keep it, and so on. It was to me al-most incredible, that a woman with such experience as she must have had, young as she was, should have believed all that. \u2014 But she did. Now he was supplying her with plenty of money and did not wish her to see any other man. His regiment was ordered to * * * * and he could not see her for many months. I guessed how all that would end, but attempted no more to destroy the happy illusion she was under. \u2014 She was fond of the captain, poor thing. But whatever the captain might have been, or whatever her promises, it did not prevent Amelia from fucking heartily with me. Her enjoyment of my prick indeed got intense. She certainly ceased going to the Argyle almost entirely.<\/p><\/div><\/div><\/div><div style=\"color: #4b1212; font-family: Georgia, sans-serif; text-align: center;\" title=\"Page 1169\"><div><div><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">I like to see all of a nice woman when I have once had her, and altho I did not really care about her, got Mrs. A*t*n to a baudy house, and passed about four hours with her there. Having made several calls hoping to find Amelia out, and to have Mrs. A*t*n, I failed in doing so. Difficulty in some cases increases desire, and it was so with me now. I thought that I longed exceedingly to have the woman, so wrote her, and slipped it into her hands when I called, and told her where to write to me. She named a day, and eleven o\u2019clock in the morning. It is funny that the woman never appeared to leave the house, I never found her out of it, or heard of her going out, and she frequently was in the house alone. She said one day that she never wanted to go out, which I believe to have been a lie. I fancied she was hiding there, and feared to go out, tho my reasons for that belief are not very strong.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">Soon after eleven o\u2019clock, there we were in a house (not my favourite one) and ten minutes after that, she in chemise, I in shirt were on the bed together. I inspected her charms which she seemed a little modest about, she inspected mine, which pleased me much. Now I looked out for the signs of childbirth. \u2014 She was absorbed intensely in handling and contemplating my prick, when I began the search. I was standing by the bed-side. Suddenly she relinquished my prick, and pushed down her chemise. By my investigations she was evidently taken unawares. \u201cDon\u2019t. I don\u2019t like to be pulled about so, don\u2019t,\u201d \u2014 said she very angrily. \u201cYou\u2019ve had a child, my dear.\u201d \u2014 \u201cI haven\u2019t.\u201d \u201cYes, I have just seen the marks.\u201d \u2014 \u201cI haven\u2019t but what if I have?\u201d \u2014 \u201cNothing, my dear.\u201d \u2014 \u201cBut I haven\u2019t, I\u2019ve had a miscarriage.\u201d \u2014 \u201cHow did that happen?\u201d \u2014 \u201cI shan\u2019t tell you. \u2014 I\u2019m sorry I\u2019ve met you.\u201d \u2014 \u201cNonsense. It doesn\u2019t matter to me if you have, or not.\u201d A fuck restored her temper.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">I tried to get out of her when she\u2019d been fucked first, but learnt I expect nothing true. She\u2019d been seduced, had been ruined by a scoundrel who had promised to marry her, her career was gone. She\u2019d since had no other man but me. \u2014 How curious I was, did I ask all the ladies I had such questions. She didn\u2019t want men for she hated them. \u2014 Well! She did frig herself, if I wanted to know \u2014 why shouldn\u2019t she, she must do something, naturally. \u2014 \u201cFrig Amelia?\u201d \u2014 \u201cCertainly not \u2014 she has quite enough of it without doing that.\u201d \u2014 \u201cEnough of what?\u201d \u2014 She hesitated. \u201cWell fucking, there! \u2014 I knew you wanted me to say that word, and I\u2019ve said it, and do you feel any better for it?\u201d She was nasty, snappish, and\u00a0<span style=\"font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit;\">disliked being questioned. So I desisted, having come out for pleasure, and not to annoy.<\/span><\/p><\/div><\/div><\/div><div style=\"color: #4b1212; font-family: Georgia, sans-serif; text-align: center;\" title=\"Page 1170\"><div><div><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">\u201cI won\u2019t look at your belly\u201d said I, after she had washed her cunt, for that she insisted on doing quickly after I had spent in her, and I wanted again to see her charms, for unless I am in bed for the night, I nearly always look at a woman\u2019s cunt before each fuck. I am indeed never tired of looking at a woman\u2019s hidden charms. \u201cNow don\u2019t be nonsensical, you may pull your chemise down below your navel, but I\u2019ve seen all I want there, \u2014 and I pulled it down myself. \u2014 \u201cNow open your thighs wider \u2014 you did it on the sofa the other night.\u201d \u2014 Open they went, for it makes some women lewed to have it looked at. I had a good look at a cunt of the usual class, a cunt of thirty, well haired and full lipped, nothing in it to call either pretty or the reverse. But she was tawny skinned, there was a slightly bilious, brown tint in her skin, just as there was in her face. She was what may be called a dark skinned woman which I don\u2019t much admire, but fleshy and well proportioned. When I had seen all this, and done my utmost in tailing her that morning, I was satisfied, and never desired her again.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">In the four hours, she kept me closely up to my work. She wanted fucking more than I did, but I did it four times. She was curious about my prick, and looked at it repeatedly. When I said after my second poke, \u2014 \u201cLet me look at you, open your thighs.\u201d \u2014 \u201cLet me look at you then,\u201d she said, and laughed. \u2014 Of course I let her. I couldn\u2019t help thinking that really it was a long time since she\u2019d had a man, or she wouldn\u2019t have handled and looked at my prick so much. She was like a young girl with it, and her hurry to let me up her was undisguised. Yet as I had made up my mind from her evasive replies to my questions that she was lying, I didn\u2019t care to think much about her, or whether she had been much or little fucked, or by one man or more.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">She had come out that morning to buy a dress, she said, which I think was true. I tipped her, which I half fancied she didn\u2019t expect, and we parted as if we were acquaintances, and nothing more. \u2014 Nor did she make any signs of recognition or pleasure when I saw her again at Mrs. German. (This all took place before Mrs. German told me she was in the family way.)<\/p><\/div><\/div><\/div><div style=\"color: #4b1212; font-family: Georgia, sans-serif; text-align: center;\" title=\"Page 1171\"><div><div><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">Some months elapsed during which I was much abroad, and I went a long voyage across the sea, which I omit telling here for the sake of continuing about Amelia. It was on my return that she told me she was in the family way and the particulars just given. Then I resumed sleeping with her, and did so at times for one or two months, till her belly began to get large. \u2014 After a while she got fretful and tearful, for her captain tho he sent her money and kind letters, said it would be long before he could see her again, that he had been found out, and had had an awful row with his governor about her. She began asking me if I thought he would do what he had said. How could I tell I replied when I only knew what she had told me. Then she said she was sure she could trust me, and showed me a bundle of his letters which I read, and saw he was cooling down. I did not like to add to her trouble by telling her that, but said if he didn\u2019t, she might perhaps sue him for a breach of promise, tho I didn\u2019t think she could \u2014 but that even comforted her.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">I did not care about poking her with her big stomach, and left off calling much. She then went to the Argyle, as she said, only to divert herself. Whether she got friends there or not I didn\u2019t know, but she so managed to dress that there were no signs of the size of her belly. At the Argyle she came up to me one night directly she saw me (I had always told her never to notice me unless I made her a sign, it was my custom with all women). \u201cI must speak with you,\u201d said she. \u201cWhat do you think, I went home last night, and found my house-keeper had delivered herself of a seven month child and it was dead, and was lying on the table wrapped up in a napkin, she was lying on the sofa fainting \u2014 what shall I do \u2014 the dead baby\u2019s there still.\u201d \u2014 I suggested calling in a doctor. She said she was frightened to do that. \u2014 \u201cPerhaps she\u2019s killed it,\u201d I remarked. \u2014 She was sure she didn\u2019t know, she hoped not \u2014 but Mrs. A*t*n wouldn\u2019t reply, would tell nothing wouldn\u2019t open her mouth. \u2014 There she lay now in bed ill, only saying that she wouldn\u2019t have a doctor and wished she was dead.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">I could not assist her, but still advised a doctor. \u2014 She asked me to go home with her and see Mrs. A*t*n. \u2014 I declined doing so as long as the dead child was there. I could do no good, but would be at the Argyle a few nights after.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">A week after, Amelia told me the child was buried and that it was stillborn. That A*t*n was ill, and that she meant to send her off directly\u00a0<span style=\"font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit;\">she was better. A week after that she was gone, and I slept with Amelia. She was mysterious about her companion, and said she would never have believed that she would get into such a scrape again. I asked no further questions not wishing to know anything more about the matter, but had my suspicions that the child was born alive. \u2014 I never heard of A*t*n afterwards. \u2014 But I wonder much at Amelia thinking that a woman who had once had fucking, would go the rest of her life without it. \u2014 There were fresh servants in the house soon after. If I had anything to do with begetting that child, it could not have been more than five months old, but suppose I had not.<\/span><\/p><\/div><\/div><\/div><div style=\"color: #4b1212; font-family: Georgia, sans-serif; text-align: center;\" title=\"Page 1172\"><div><div><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">But there is one thing I ought to have named before. I was very salacious one night, and delighted much in the beauty and whiteness of Amelia\u2019s form. She was, I think in much the same condition of lust. How exquisite is the pleasure when a man and woman are both lewed, and play erotic tricks together. Her belly had then scarcely began to swell. I postponed consummating, and indulged in many lewed preliminaries. I was fanciful in the highest degree and full of erotic inventions. \u2014 \u201cKneel over me dear, and let me see your pretty cunt\u201d and I moved into the middle of bed. She was naked as she was born, for she had had her night-gown on ready to get into bed with me, and I made her take it off. Laughing she placed herself on her knees straddling across me, her coral split slightly opened by the position. I gazed with sensuous delight and stiff prick on the pretty light haired division, and fingered it using at times both hands at once. When doing so she put one of her hands behind her bum and felt my cock. \u2014 \u201cOh \u2014 hah \u2014 isn\u2019t it stiff. \u2014 Oh, do me.\u201d \u2014 \u201cNot yet love, feel my prick again.\u201d \u2014 Kiss it, kiss, I\u2019m so lewed,\u201d \u2014 said she, wriggling her thighs and buttocks, as well as a kneeling position permitted. \u201cCome nearer then.\u201d \u2014 She moved on her knees more for-ward, they widened out as she came near my shoulders, and her cunt met my mouth. Rapturously I kissed it, then involuntarily put my hands round her smooth white buttocks and pulled her closer to me. \u201cGet lower down dear.\u201d \u2014 Her cunt covered my mouth I put out my tongue and tickled her clitoris with it, then licked, then closed my lips on it, then licked it again. \u201cOh \u2014 oh, if you do that I shall spend. Oh \u2014 ohooooo,\u201d \u2014 she said and her cunt moved back-wards and forwards, covering my mouth and my nose. For a moment I desisted, saying \u201cShall I gamahuche you, Mealy?\u201d\u00a0<span style=\"font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit;\">\u2014 \u201cOh, do \u2014 go on, do, I\u2019m nearly spending,\u201d and her belly and backside shook with her lust.<\/span><\/p><\/div><\/div><\/div><div style=\"color: #4b1212; font-family: Georgia, sans-serif; text-align: center;\" title=\"Page 1173\"><div><div><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">I clasped her buttocks with both hands and put my tongue to her clitoris again. \u201cKeep your cunt quiet when you spend\u201d for in her pleasure just before she had moved her cunt about so, that I lost the clitoris, my tongue went on to her vagina and her clitoris rubbed my nose. I don\u2019t like my nose and my lips to be covered by a cunt. Then I licked and gently bit and nibbled at her clitoris, till I felt her backside vibrating with pleasure, her whole cunt, spite of her, seemed to drop all over and cover my mouth and with a sharp cry of pleasure the dear creature spent. \u201cYou never did that before to me\u201d said she, when she laid by the side of me a minute or two afterwards. \u2014 \u201cDo you like being gamahuched?\u201d \u2014 \u201cYes very much at times, but I want it done properly to me afterwards\u201d \u2014 and properly it was done by me then in a few minutes.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">Two or three times after that, the letch seized me for gamahuching her, and I always did it in that fashion. It was only done when she was hot cunted, when we had been talking libidinously, and when I had gone home with her after a good dinner. (For I had taken to give her dinners at * * * * then not long opened.) I was not ashamed of her, for she dressed well and quietly, and tho there was an unmistakably voluptuous air about her she scarcely looked like a gay woman when away from a harlots\u2019 gathering. The gamahuching al-so was due to her incitement, more than my own suggestion. Her captain always did it to her, she told me when I questioned her. \u2014 \u201cYes \u2014 yes, once another has.\u201d And so on, till talking begat the want. Then she washed her cunt, and mounted to my mouth again.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">And this is what I wrote then. It is better left as it is, than put into narrative form like the rest. \u201cLicked Amelia\u2019s cunt last night, did I want to do it or did she want me to do to her? I have done it to her several times, now don\u2019t like doing it, yet I do it. She seems to like it so. \u2014 Her frame as far as I can judge, lying under her cunt as I do, and seeing nothing, and only able to clasp her bum or her thighs, seems to thrill with a higher enjoyment than when she is fucked, and I like giving her pleasure for she deserves it, and she is so beautiful. But I want to wash my mouth and moustache directly after; whilst she says after a moment\u2019s repose only, \u201cGo on, dear.\u201d But I don\u2019t like the taste, and eject my saliva\u00a0<span style=\"font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit;\">both whilst doing it, and after it, till it runs down over my chin and I long to wash my mouth. Yet last night I gamahuched her long without ejecting. But I do it as it seems to me through her talking about it. It is she who always be-gins talking about it first. I wonder whether Mrs. A*t*n did it to her. I half suspect it. I\u2019ll ask again. But why shouldn\u2019t she if they both like that fun?\u201d<\/span><\/p><\/div><\/div><\/div><div style=\"color: #4b1212; font-family: Georgia, sans-serif; text-align: center;\" title=\"Page 1174\"><div><div><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">Again I was away from England. When I came back, she was very big and miserable. Her time was approaching for her confinement. The captain sent her money, but I saw from his letters (she insisted against my will on making a confidant of me) that he was cooling, and just before her accouchement, wrote to say he deeply regretted it but there was no help for it, if he didn\u2019t, his Father would leave him nothing, he should be ruined, so he was going to be married. I saw her a few days after she received this letter, and in a sad state of distress she was. At one time she cried and said she loved him, the next moment cursed him. She had lost her good friends through him, they would not visit her with her big belly, and now she should have a wretched child to keep, and much more. She raved about it, and her energy (in one habitually so placid) surprised me.<\/p><p style=\"font-size: 16px;\">She had the child and luckily it died. But it nearly killed her in coming into the world, and I wonder if it was owing to that small opening. I shall write no more about for this is not a history of Amelia German. She quite altered in appearance afterwards. I had other women, was much away, and only had her once or twice after she recovered from her confinement. Some months afterwards going to the Argyle, I met her and went home with her. She was then in lodgings, had lost her nice quiet manners, and was a flaunting vulgar whore. I was sorry for it. Suddenly she disappeared, no women whom I asked could tell about her, they hadn\u2019t seen her anywhere for a long time, was all I got from the sisterhood.<\/p><\/div><\/div><\/div>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>VOLUME 6 CHAPTER 11 At Cremorne. \u2022 Amelia German. \u2022 A fair-haired beauty. \u2022 A voluptuous bed-fellow. \u2022 Tongues and lips. \u2022 Small entrance, large interior. \u2022 Her house and her captain. \u2022 Mrs. A*t*n the house-keeper. \u2022 The house-keeper alone. \u2022 Why does she sleep with Amelia. \u2022 Reasons suggested. \u2022 Mrs. A., on &hellip;<\/p>\n<p class=\"read-more\"> <a class=\"\" href=\"https:\/\/mysecretlife.org\/?page_id=1651\"> <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Volume Six Chapter Eleven<\/span> Read More &raquo;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-1651","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mysecretlife.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1651"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mysecretlife.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mysecretlife.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mysecretlife.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mysecretlife.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1651"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/mysecretlife.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1651\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2670,"href":"https:\/\/mysecretlife.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1651\/revisions\/2670"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mysecretlife.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1651"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}