“Has anybody but myself faithfully made such a record?…whatever society may say, it is but a narrative of human life…perhaps the everyday life of thousands…if the confession could be had.” Walter

My Secret Life, ten years in the making, an audiofilm of the infamous anonymously written 19th century erotic memoir of an English gentleman

My Secret Life

What do we actually know about women’s sexual behaviour in the 19th century? What degree of sexual experience or experimentation did most women have? Female sexuality is one of the most invisible subjects in women’s history.

The underground erotic fiction of the time offered a male perspective of the female mind, female diarists were not in the habit of divulging their innermost erotic thoughts or exposing their sexual exploits. The resources at our disposal for exploring the reality of this fascinating subject are practically non-existent.

And yet there is one source, which remains relatively obscure to this day, from which we can learn more about women’s sexual behaviour during the Victorian era than any other. A book called My Secret Life; an anonymously penned memoir written during a period from the 1840s to the 1880s by a wealthy and sex obsessed English gentleman who refers to himself simply as ‘Walter’. Part confessional, part investigative erotic journalism, it meticulously documents every detail of  the author’s prolific sexual encounters, offering us in the process an eye and thigh opening account of life behind closed doors in the Victorian age.

Women, in both mind and body, were the all consuming object  of Walter’s interest.  From early youth through to old age his quest for erotic discovery and adventure with them was never diminished.

Unlike contemporary 19th century erotic texts, such as The Pearl, whose sole object was to titillate,  Walter’s interest in his subjects did not end with the extinguishing of the carnal flame. His hunger to understand the circumstances and minds of the women he encountered is never upstaged by the sex. Their potted life histories, their most intimate desires and acts were shared with him and in turn meticulously recorded by him, written down verbatim while still fresh in his mind.

The resulting poignant record of a lost era and the intimate moments of the women who inhabited it offer us a remarkable insight into the 19th century that cannot be gained from any other source.

Banned from publication for its extreme and explicit content for nearly a century, My Secret Life is now being released as an audiofilm, (a fully scored immersive audiobook), with narration and music by film composer Dominic Crawford Collins.


A candid memoir recounting the author’s erotic experiences from childhood onwards, My Secret Life not only offers us a fascinating insight into the mind of someone whose entire life revolved around an epicentre of sexual obsession, but a unique historic window through which we can observe our own psychology and behaviour. 

Described as ‘one of the strangest books ever written’, My Secret Life is evocative, provocative, graphic, and even by modern day standards, extraordinarily daring! Amidst its two thousands plus pages lie a treasure trove of real lives. Lives depicted from a very different perspective to Walter’s contemporaries such as Charles Dickens and Henry Mayhew; lives illuminated by the oblique light of the author’s prurient eye.

“a haunting original music score for each episode sets the mood for a truly immersive erotic audio time travel experience”

Refreshingly contemporary in its literary style, My Secret Life still retains the power to shock to this day. No other writer has succeeded in presenting the clandestine lives of the women of the Victorian age to the extent that Walter did. Open the pages of My Secret Life and the hidden, forbidden voices of  the 19th century spring to life.