VOLUME 5 CHAPTER 13

In the Haymarket. • Cunt struck suddenly. • Sweet young Hefty. • An impatient couple. • A happy meeting. • Almost in love. • Mary S****s. • A servant by chance. • In Cockspur St. • Luncheon and lust. • Stared at. • At the accommodation house. • Nakedness. • Anonymous letters. • Fe-male spite. • A quarrel with Vic. • With Mary at F***f*** St. • Confessions.

One Saturday afternoon I met a sweet faced girl looking twenty, fairly grown, and elegantly dressed. There was something about her which attracted me even in the distance. I kept my eyes fixed on hers from the moment I could distinguish them — and she on mine. — A sudden and strong desire for her seized me, tho I was not wanting nor even thinking of a woman. I wanted to see and talk with her, rather than anything else. We both slackened pace as we approached each other. — “Come with me,” I said with sudden impulse. Half stopping, looking at me steadily for a few seconds, and then smiling, she placed her arm in mine as I turned round, and in three minutes we were in a handsome bedroom. — We had not spoken a word, until the servant had closed the door; I had got one of my well known rooms, at J***s St.

“I never was pounced upon like that before,” said she. “I longed for you the instant I set eyes on you,” said I. “And I thought I should like you the instant I set eyes on you,” she rejoined. We stood up kissing for a minute. She had beautiful brown hair, and light hazel eyes, with the softest and most voluptuous expression in them, and beautiful teeth. — Then taking off my coat and waistcoat, she, unasked, quickly stripped to her chemise — and a lovely creature she was. Slim but quite plump enough, with flesh like ivory, hard little breasts, sweetly shaped legs, and with one of the loveliest little youthful cunts, set in a small quantity of silky chestnut hair that I ever saw, and all seen in the most exquisite underclothing. Stripped to my shirt, her naked bum was soon seated on my naked thigh, and whilst I twiddled her cunt, and she held my prick, our mouths and tongues together uttered inarticulate soft sighs of love, without speaking, till I almost felt I should spend. We were speechless with lust and impatient to couple.

I pulled my prick from her, and my hand from her cunt. “We are in a hurry, — do you want to go soon?” “Oh — no, I’m in no hurry, but I want you to poke, let’s do it dear and we will talk afterwards.” — Again our hands were on our genitals, our sighs and salivas mixing for a minute, and then with one accord we went to the bed and fucked, murmuring our pleasure to each other. Recovering, — “You’ve a lovely cunt.” “You fuck lovely,” said she. “Oh I wish my prick would never come out of your cunt.” “So do I, — keep it in till you do it again,” thus we murmured our liking for each other, almost in each other’s mouths.

Tho very late in the spring it was cool — and a fire was in the room. We sat after fucking on the sofa, with arms round each other and kissing. — The suddenness of our meeting, and poking, astonished us both. When had she been fucked last. Nearly a fortnight, ago — she was kept, and her friend had been away that time. “Didn’t you want fucking my dear?” “And didn’t you?” “I must wash, it’s running out on to my chemise.” “No, don’t it’s nicer the second time unwashed.” “So it is, but give me a towel. ” — I gave it to her, she put it under her bum, we talked a minute only longer, then speechless our tongues again met, and then to the bed. My prick went up, — “Oh isn’t your cunt smooth?” “Yes, dear — oh, lovely,” — soon we were in ecstasy again, and then on the sofa we sat and talked. — Her name was Henrietta, and she was called Hetty. Soon again I had her.

Time rolled on, I got hungry. She wanted food, — but neither talked of leaving. At about ten o’clock, — my glorious stiff one (my prick will always stand to a nice woman even if it can’t spend) rammed and rammed and fetched her but gave out no sperm. — “I’m done,” said I. “And done enough, you have knocked me up,” said she. Then we went to a shop, feasted full of lobster and separated. I had never had a more exquisite five hours with any woman, young, old, modest, or gay.

She met me again by appointment a few days after. — I had ordered clean dry sheets on the bed, and we laid naked together in them. We were mutually satisfied with each other’s bodies. This time I gave her a little dinner before we went there, so we were in the best possible condition, tho I doubt if we really fucked better, or enjoyed each other more than we did at first. We spooned each other. For the most part my taste and my luck as it seems to me, has run me into large arced, fleshy, fat cunted, well haired, big women, so that this little lady seemed lovely to me by comparison. Her cunt seemed to fit me so, — and the slight hair pleased me so, that I kept thinking about that charming variety. Variety was perhaps at the bottom of it all, for a fresh cunt is mostly delicious, or it always is so to me.

When fucked out and dressed, we sat by the fire. — She would not tell me where she lived, —it was a nice little house, but her man was nearly always with her, and had kept her a year, she had only been gay three months before he did so. Now she was only eighteen, and he was so good, and liberal, and kept her mother as well, so that she was frightened-of being found out. — She had never, she could swear, had any man since he had kept her but myself. — and, “Good heavens, I longed for you as I looked in your eyes, and the quickness, oh!” Here she repeated my words, and described my action. — She should never forget it. — “I wish you would keep me. — I should love you in a week,” said she, “and would be so faithful to you. — I’ve never really felt I should like a man but you, tho I’ve only seen you twice.”

If her friend had not returned she would meet me a third time. — If she did not, I was to understand that she could not, and that she had said good bye to me. She did meet me, and we had three hours of the hardest fucking I ever have had yet. — “Oh,” said she, kissing me, “to think it’s the last time I ever shall see you perhaps, there may be a chance, but I fear not.” — We arranged where to write to each other. “But what’s good,” said she, “I shall love you perhaps.” She never did write, I did, but got no reply. — I made her take some money which she had refused before. — She cried and kissed me, passionately when we separated for ever, for I never saw her afterwards.

She was so nice that I had at once the idea of asking her to be my mistress — I had the same idea about Lucy a year ago — but resisted it. — I was so unhappy that I longed for a home with a female in it, but had found that a mistress did not do much to diminish my unhappiness, so altho I longed for Hetty, gave up all idea of keeping her.

About a week after I saw Hetty for the last time, I was loitering about Cockspur Street, at about half past twelve, on a lovely sunshiny, though coldest day in May, when I met three women walking abreast. Two were middle aged, and comfortably clad like small trades-women, the third was a strapping, healthy woman of about one and twenty, with dark bright eyes, dark hair, and clear skin, and clad like a well to do, quiet, servant. I wanted a woman that morning. Her face pleased me, and as she looked at me as I approached, I put out my lips as if kissing, and winked at her, just as I passed her. The others did not see this.

I turned round looking after her, and saw that she had small feet — (her petticoats were short), and showed a thickish ankle in white stockings. She had a steady movement of her haunches, and had in brief every indication of the form of woman I liked, and I followed them at a distance. Soon she half turned to look back, but seeing me, turned again quickly. In a minute afterwards they went into a public house. She’s a servant out for a holiday and if game at all, wants a man, here is a chance — thought I. I like a young servant, and have had dozens of them. — So I walked into the public house after them.

They were standing in a compartment shut off from the rest of the bar. The two middle aged had ale — the young one nothing. I ordered a glass of wine and re-marked that it was a fine day. — “Yes it was,” said she seemingly a little confused. Would she have a glass of wine. — She looked round at the women, one of whom nudged her. Then she said she would. Talking on, I asked if she was going to the Royal Academy to see the pictures. — She didn’t know anything about the place but said she liked pictures. I offered to take her. “It’s only across the road almost — if your friends can spare you, let us go.”

This seemed to upset the other women, one of whom said, “If we don’t go at once, we shall be late.” The young woman said, “Wait a minute,” — and went on talking with me, and I repeated my offer. Impatiently another said, “If you come out with us Miss ****, you come, if you don’t, you don’t, — you know the ad-dress, he’ll be home at one o’clock mind, and won’t wait for nobody.” Then out the two went. Said she, “I must go or they will be angry.” “Never mind, come and have luncheon with me, and we will go to the pictures afterwards.” “Perhaps they are waiting for me.” I went out, could not see them, and then asked if they were relations. — No — one was her landlady, the other woman lodged there, and they were going to her sister’s to dine at one o’clock.

Never mind. “You are a dressmaker aren’t you?” She answered quite straight. “No, I’m a servant, and left my situation four days ago, but I shall soon get another for I have a good character. I’ve been after one this morning, and as I’d nothing to do, and Mrs. * * * asked me to come with them, I did, — Oh! but I’ve forgot the address, — isn’t there a place called * * * *” — I could not help her — and didn’t mean to if I could. — “What ever will she think if I don’t go?” “Say you forgot the address and went home, but come and have luncheon.”

She hesitated uneasily. — We went out, could not see the two women, and I took her quickly to the Cafe de l’E*r**e (one of the best eating and drinking places in London, and supported mainly by kept women and their protectors) . Soon an ample luncheon with champagne was before us. — We sat side by side, she tucked in the food, ate heartily, and got well warmed up with champagne before she had half finished her meat. Good food soon heats a cunt, I know as well as any man now, and heats a prick as well.

All she had told was probable, but where did she lodge — and where had she been in service. I asked this right off. — She told me both places, and they happened to be in the very quarter of London where I first lived after I had run through my first fortune. — “Do you know * * * Terrace?” “Yes.” “Well I have just left No. 3 — Mrs. S***n**s, I was housemaid there.” — I knew the house perfectly — and where she had got a lodging was close to where my sweet maid Mary had lodged, when she left my service years ago, so I felt convinced she was telling me the truth. Her name was Mary S****s. How many more Marys am I to have?

I began warm talk very soon after she had got her belly full. Did she sleep alone in the lodgings or with her sweetheart. “Alone, of course.” It was her first place in London. — Her parents lived at * * * *. — “I know why you came to London.” “Do you? why,” said she laughing. “You got into a scrape at home with a man. She coloured scarlet, and seemed confused. — “That it wasn’t.” — But feeling sure that by chance I had hit the right nail, I chaffed her and added, “My dear what if you did — a woman’s a fool if she doesn’t have a man if she liked one. — We are made for each other. Miss S****s — may I call you Mary?” “Yes, if you like.” “And no woman knows what the pleasure of life is, till a man’s naked thighs have lain between her naked thighs.”

“Oh — I don’t like that talk.” “You like the thing tho, don’t you? — but tell me all about your country lover, did his thighs go there?” and I laid my hand broadly on hers underneath the table. — She did not much object to that hand — but “no” — there was no country lover she could declare. — “Have some tarts, don’t you like them?” “Oh yes, but I’m nearly busting now, the food’s so nice.” Tarts were ordered and eaten, and another glass of champagne drunk, and by then she was frisky and a little loud. — I put my hand on her thigh at every opportunity, and closer and closer to her belly, — then gave a pinch, whispering that I felt the hair. — “Oh you story, don’t do that. — How that gentleman opposite keeps staring at us,” and she pushed my hand away.

A man was staring at us — so we changed sides and then the wooden enclosure hid us (scarcely anyone was there). We subdued our voices — but that she was quite lewed through food, and wine, my talk, and her constitution, I now felt sure. — She laughed at every thing I said, I got from delicate smut, to plain words, then put her hand outside my trousers on my cock — “Isn’t it hard there,” said I and gradually exciting her, dared at last to ask her to come with me somewhere, and have a cup of tea and I would give her a new dress if she would only let me see her lovely legs to just above her knees.

She got up then. — No she wouldn’t, she was surprised, — but there was lust in her eyes. She must go, and wished she could recollect the address. — What would Mrs * * * think of her now, and so on — “I declare I think I’ve had too much to drink.” “You want to piddle I expect.” “I want something badly,” said she, laughing. — “There is no place here but I will show you where.” — Then I paid the bill. — “What a lot of money it cost,” she remarked. “I’ll give you twice as much to see you undressed.” — She shook me by the arm, “Now I won’t have this.” — We left — I led her to J***s St: You can piddle in here, and have a cup of tea — it will refresh you.” “No.” “Come.” “I won’t — I pushed open the door and pulled her in gently, saying as I entered, “Send us up some tea.” Next minute we were in a bedroom. — “Oh,” said she, “this isn’t a public house is it?” “No,” said I boldly, “this is where people come to fuck.” “Oho — no — is it really a bad house? — you’d no business to bring me here. I won’t stop” — but I pushed her into a chair! and there she sat.

The tea was brought. — “You haven’t piddled.” “Where can I?” — That point of modesty was gone. — “Here is the pot.” “I can’t before you.” “I can,” and pulling out my prick under her very nose — but so stiff that the piss could scarcely get through it, I some-how managed it, whilst she looked askant at me all the time. “There now you do it.” “You go away then and don’t look.” “All right.” — Putting down the pot I turned my back, but directly she began turned round to her. — “You rude man,” said she, laughing. She was slightly groggy I now noticed.

“Is your cunt wet?” said I. “Dirty man, I won’t tell you.” “I’ll feel,” and stooping to get my hand well on to her thighs. —She struggled hard and made a noise, but I pushed her back on to the sofa and got my fingers well between her cunt lips. — That settled her at once — all her gaity left. — She no longer laughed nor squirmed, but seemed quite scared. — “Oh no — I didn’t think you’d go so far as that, — Oh — really — now let me go — I won’t have any tea — I must go to my friends.”

But I know the trick when once my hand is on a woman’s clitoris. — I dare say I don’t vary it whether with a lady, a mistress or servant. Instinct teaches from that moment, and alone guides me. I have no system of what to do and say. How I wish I could see other men under similar circumstances. — “Don’t struggle, it’s foolish, let me feel (— I have felt it you know how)

— only for a minute, — kiss me.” — Then twiddle till the pleasure pervades the whole gap, and I kiss so that the woman cannot utter a word. — “Feel my prick

— only for a minute. Do — there — isn’t it stiff, — how it’s longing to go up your cunt. — Do let me — I won’t spend in you. — Don’t fear — I’ll pull it out when you like, if you’ll only let me put it in for a minute.” “Oh don’t, I’m frightened to let you, — oh — leave off.” — Then comes silence, silence only broken by soft, voluptuous kisses — then she is near to spending

— her cunt yearning for sperm, and wetting itself to get ready for the prick to enter it, helpless with desire she surrenders and the thighs open. Thus it was with Mary S****s, as with others before.

Silence and kisses — and the feeling of each other’s genitals — but not for long. — In ten minutes after the tea had been brought in, there was Mary laying on the bed, silent, and with eyes closed, and her cunt full, and my dripping prick was dangling outside it, I on her belly, her clothes up in a heap above her navel. It was only about three o’clock in the afternoon.

“I’m so sleepy,” said she. “Let’s get into bed then and get your clothes off.” “I’d better go.” “Don’t be foolish, Mary — you’ve been fucked and I’m going to do it again, — let’s enjoy ourselves, take off your things.” — Rising from her belly, I undressed rapidly to my shirt. — She laid quite quietly looking on. “No,” — she must go. — I dragged her off the bed by her feet, and then she undressed, and went to bed, I fucked her again — and then we both slept soundly.

When I awakened it was nearly five o’clock. She was still asleep. Gently as possible I uncovered her to her waist, and saw a lovely pair of hard breasts, and dark hair peeping out from her arm pits. Carefully I drew the clothes over her again and slid my finger on to her cunt which was wet and sticky, as delicately as if with a feather. I rubbed her clitoris for such a time, wetting my finger lower down when it grew dry. She was soundly asleep, but the sensation I was awaking in her began to make her restless. In her sleep she put her hand down to her cunt. I drew away mine. — “Who’s that,” said she suddenly awakening. “I, my love,” and I moved on to her belly with a stiff prick again.

There is nothing I love better than to frig a nice woman when fast asleep and watch her randiness come on, her thighs move, her hand go suddenly (they all do that) on to her cunt as she awakens, after gradually getting more and more restless and excited with voluptuous desire, caused by the friction.

“What’s o’clock? oh I’ve been dreaming so, let me get up.” “After we’ve done it again love,” said I — inserting my prick in her lubricious cunt. — What woman with a prick well up her can insist on getting up? Then keeping my prick in, raising myself on one elbow to look at her, I talked voluptuous talk. — “O-ho,” sighed she, and her cunt gave a squeeze. Then we had our third pleasure and she seemed on the point of sleeping again.

But as if suddenly recollecting herself, — “Oh let me wash, Oh — I’m nearly naked,” — and getting out rapidly she washed her quim saying, “Oh sir, you gave me too much wine purposely to make me do what I’ve done.” Then she began to dress herself, but folding her arms and kissing her I prevented her. “Don’t be foolish, it’s too late.” “Oh you gave me too much wine purposely, and you did it to make me let you do that to me — it’s a shame.”

I had really done nothing of the sort, not thinking from her manner that it was needful, for I fancied she wanted a man; she had kept hand in mine and pressed it before she had begun to eat. She certainly had drunk a good lot, but beyond laughing and talking much, had not given a sign of being tight, until she went to sleep. I denied it, and got her to be reasonable. Her land-lady was not to be home till eight o’clock, so what hurry? Let me see your lovely cunt, and I kissed down from her breasts to her navel — and then upwards from motte to navel. “Now don’t be foolish, let me look at it, I’ve fucked it, I’ve fucked it three times.” Soon I held the lips open and looked, kissed and examined it, and then, with heated genitals, on the bed we fucked. Each fuck takes longer in completing than the previous one. The pleasure is less rapid, and what voluptuous rests, and talk, and kisses we get, which we cannot pause for in the first coupling. How long one’s prick lays stiff and quiet in the folds of the warm cunt before it recommences its exercise.

She dressed. — “Don’t look at me — my things aren’t quite clean,” said she. — And then we left. — She made a promise to meet me the next day at the same hour. — I put her into a cab and gave her money to pay for it, promising her a new bonnet the next day.

We met, lunched, and enjoyed ourselves as on the previous day. “My linen’s quite clean,” said she, “I was ashamed of it yesterday.” — In my hot lust I had not noticed its being soiled, if it was so. She was a nice creature, with fat thighs, large and well shaped calves, with nearly black hair on her cunt, crisp, thick and curly, but not much of it. The handful of flesh which forms the cunt pad between her thighs was full and fleshy, but the lips did not project roundly. That sort of cunt always was pretty to me. — She had more pleasure, seemingly, than many women have in looking at my prick. — Whenever she felt it she kept her eyes upon it. “Let me see it get stiff,” said she, when it was under the clothes, on one day afterwards. Her manners, tho only those of a servant, pleased me. She seemed delighted and proud at being taken for a dress-maker, which I had said to flatter her.

For two more days I had her, but could not give her so much bumbasting as she had on our first encounter. I couldn’t manage that on two days running, but a couple of fucks satisfy most women. — Then she got a situation. — “What shall I do if I’m in the family way?” said she. — How I hate to hear that said. It’s the penalty of having any woman but whores. I told her my name, and the club to write to, and promised if in trouble that way to help her, but she never applied to me.

As we went into the cafe, on the second day, I passed a distant relative with whom I was on indifferent terms, and who eyed us well. — About the fifth day, after I had had Mary S***s this occurred at my house. “Here are two letters which concern you,” and they were laid on the table. Both were anonymous and ad-dressed to her. — One said that the writer had seen me going into the cafe with a woman, and named the time. The other that I was seen putting a lady into a cab. Time and place also stated.

I said it was false — she might believe it or not as she pleased, that I guessed who wrote them, and so forth. — “One is in a woman’s hand writing tho disguised.” “I dare say the same enemy.” — There was no scene about it. — I wondered who wrote the second letter, and concluded it was written by the same man’s wife. — “Well give them back to me.” “Certainly not, I shall not leave you such means of injuring my character. Perhaps tho, you wrote them yourself.” — So I destroyed them.

A few days after I met Victoria, and thought she seemed curious in manner. After we had been in the room for a minute, — “I hope you enjoyed yourself when — where?” — I had been seen, she had heard, helping a female into a cab. — I denied it — who told her so. — Her cousin. — “Your cousin is a liar and very convenient to you.” “And to you also. — No, you shan’t do it to me.” — We had words — but she liked a prick too much to refuse it altogether. — So yielding I was beginning the grope, when, — “I will see your cunt” — but she would not let me see it. — I fucked her with-out, and directly after we parted in anger. — I am certain now that she saw me herself with Mary, it was her usual day for being at the West End, but she never avowed it.

I took Mary to another dining place afterwards. Then we went different ways, and met at another baudy house for our enjoyment. Mary always kept saying that I had given her too much wine on the first day, and she didn’t know what she was about. — One day towards the end of our acquaintance when she repeated it, I said I was sure she was as lewed that day as she could be at the moment I met her, and that I saw it in her eyes as she looked at me, and in her manner when in the public house. She with a laugh, “Well you did look like such a nice man, I did look at you — and you looked so at me — that I wondered if you liked me — and I did feel as if I wished you were my husband.” “You wanted fucking,” said I. “I didn’t know what I wanted,” and that was all I got admitted.

She wished she could go to see her parents before she went to her situation, so I gave her the money to go — as well as other presents. She came back two days before the time, and two good afternoon fuckings we had. She was to have a holiday once a month, and said that she would willingly meet me — I said I would if in England — but I did not — I knew her new address, but in a month after had other fish to fry, and so tho I in-tended it at the time I spoke with her, I never had her again.

She was not a virgin, but I don’t think a regular fuckstress, and I think had not had it for a long time; she enjoyed not embraces so strongly. After the first day she was much less ready, and more modest, no doubt the wine was in her on that first day, and that her system was craving for a fuck. Had it not been for that, I doubt if I should have got her, but who can tell. The cunt which has once had a prick up it will always have it again, and she helped to amuse me nicely for three weeks.