VOLUME 6 CHAPTER 12

Reasons for omitting dates and places at this period. • A sea voyage. • Brother and sister. • Effects of sea air. • Nursemaid. • Mary’s cabin. • A poke interrupted. • The brother’s illness. • Bella on heat. • Nearly caught. • Mary’s suspicions. • Arrival at * * * *. • A week at an hotel. • Brother and sister depart. • The voyage home. • The emigrant’s daughter.

For the sake of continuity in the narrative about Amelia German, incidents which took place have been placed out of proper order and date, but what follows occurred during my acquaintance with her. I now go back a year or so.

[For the reason that by naming either the season of the year, or the exact spots visited, clue may be given to identity, so both are omitted. For similar reasons, the narrative of some adventures, tho carefully written, will be destroyed. Unfortunately, soon after they occurred, I made them the subject of conversation at my clubs, and told some of the incidents to friends and relatives. To repeat them here would be to declare myself, and others still alive. So to the flames they go — how many, many pages of manuscript have been so destroyed).

I took a longish sea voyage. The big ship was pretty full. — Among the passengers were a tall handsome man about forty years old, and a splendid, well grown girl, seemingly from eighteen to twenty years of age, with dark hair and nearly black eyes. She didn’t look immodest, but in her eyes was a soft look, as if healthy, youthful womanhood filled her with voluptuous desires. As if she was dying for fucking, as if half dozen rubs on her clitoris would make her spend.. Such were my impressions of her, after having been on board with her a few hours.

They were entered in the ship’s books in the same name, as brother and sister, were both well dressed, and seemed well to do. She had got a cabin with two berths all to herself, which had of course to be paid for as two. She was not in the part of the ship where single ladies travelling alone are frequently placed, but in one not far from his cabin. This looked to me suspicious, after I had watched them a while.

Before I had been two days on board, the sea air stirred up my prick to rebellion, and I saw no relief for it for a fortnight, unless I could get a bit of cunt on board, or frig myself, which I detest doing. This lady seemed to suggest herself to me, as the one destined to make me happy occasionally, so with the persistence which I have under such circumstances, I set to work cunt hunting. There seemed no probability of success, for there are great difficulties in getting at a woman privately on board large ships, even if both be willing for the congress, without observation by some one of the other passengers, But it’s done. Cunt and cock are crafty coggers.

There seemed less chance on account of the habits of the two. She passed much of her time in her cabin, and when out of it, always walked about the deck with him. They entered into conversation with no one scarcely, and had none of that sociability with fellow travellers, which usually takes place on board ship. Soon they were remarked for that. People joked about the two, and though there was certainly a strong family likeness between them, said that he looked like a married man who was running away with his wife’s sister. Others said he was running away in debt and that she was his daughter. — There was an anxious look about him, more so than on her.

They sat at a table some distance off from mine, and once placed there, were by ship custom not allowed to change during the voyage — but I could see her well, and she me; whilst the man could do so with difficulty.

On every opportunity I looked at her, indeed when not eating, kept my eyes nearly fixed upon her. She soon saw that, and naturally began to look at me. Once or twice, I thought I saw a smile coming over her face. I then tried to make a talking acquaintance with the brother, and succeeded to a small extent, but he plainly shewed that he didn’t want to make mine, or any acquaintance.

Their two cabins and mine were in the same corridor and I also had a cabin with the double berths to my-self, just as she had, so as to avoid the annoyance of a stranger being with me, and to give me more room. The brother however was in a cabin with another passenger. Why did he not get the cabin opposite to hers I wondered, perhaps to avoid suspicion, or perhaps it was already engaged.

The petticoats of women were at that time worn shortish, which disclosed a good bit of the legs when they went up staircases. With my strong liking for female nudity, I used to post myself everywhere possible, so that I could see them on the staircases, and found that Bella (as I found her name was) had a full calved pair of pins, which increased my lust for her, and gave me a cock-stand whenever I saw them. Sick with desire, which it seemed impossible to satisfy, I turned my eyes elsewhere, and among others, to a sturdy maid who was travelling with a lady and two children. The youngest child, almost a baby, slept in the maid’s cabin, which was not far from the mother’s cabin, and opposite to mine.

The couple stayed on deck late, and so did I. Long after most passengers had turned in, I felt sure I saw him in the far distance of the deck kiss her. Then I went to my cabin, and watching with a patience I do not possess on other occasions, kept at the angle of the little passage between the two cabins one of which was mine. She came down and went to her cabin and he did to his. What it was that still kept me on the watch, I can’t imagine. It must have been instinct. Lights were all out in the cabins, but still I kept watch. Every now and then I left mine, and peeped round into the corridor, and at length saw him come quickly along and go into the passage leading to hers. In half an hour out he came. All that time did I keep on the watch, thinking of what they might be doing. I imagined all things. Now his prick is in her. Now they are spending. Is he feeling her and going to do it again? Has he looked at her cunt? Did he spend much? I felt almost haggard with lust, as I thought and thought, and resisted frigging myself, and then I went to bed.

There I lay with inflamed imagination, wild with lust, and with prick throbbing for coition. I thought of the thick legged maid asleep within a few feet of me, of her legs, cunt, backside, and all her possible charms, of Bella’s face and legs, her cunt, of the man’s prick who had just left her, of the pleasure they had had together. — I played with my prick, and could not keep my fingers from it, but resisted frigging, tried in vain to rest, played with it again, and then irresistible lust conquered. I turned on my belly, put a handkerchief under me, wetted both hands with my spittle, and placing my prick in them, frigged through them with a fucking motion, with visions of Bella’s saturated cunt, the maid’s cunt, and endless baudy sights, chasing each other through my excited brain, and then I fell asleep.

With the usual disgust with myself after masturbation, when I awakened I was as lustful as ever, and cast my eyes about at breakfast, to see if any lady looked liquorish enough, and was sufficiently unprotected to give me a chance. Bella made my cock stand the instant I saw her.

There were not many at table. We had had the sea quite smooth, now it was getting rough, and many who had been quite well, fell sea sick. I, quite well, went upon deck, and saw brother and sister sitting together. Soon after he was sick, and went down stairs. His sister remained and seemed a good sailor. Seating myself beside her, I got into conversation. She had never been at sea before, and did not know the sensation of sea sickness. Soon however I saw her face change, and I helped her down to her cabin. The ship was now rolling, and to prevent her falling, I put my arm round her, clutching her tightly, helping her along, and holding on by rails and anything else convenient. At her cabin door, “Leave me, thank you,” said she. — “Let me help you.” — “Oh you mustn’t, oh I shall be sick.” — I put her down on a little settee, caught her head in my hands, gave her two or three kisses as rapidly as I could, and said, “You are so lovely I wish I was sleeping in the cabin with you,” and frightened at my own boldness left the cabin rapidly.

The storm increased, I kept below, and going soon after to my cabin, saw the maid putting the little child in the upper berth; her door was wide open. Most passengers were now in their cabins. I began talking with her and joking about sea sickness — she wasn’t often ill, she had crossed before with Mrs. ****, she said. “If you’re ill come into my cabin and I’ll attend to you.” She laughed, said her mistress was ill in her berth and would never move out of it so long as the sea was rough, it was so with her before. The little child was already asleep but she must stay with her. “Come into my cabin and talk.” — She looked at me in such a way, as if it had just occurred to her what I was up to, and her manner at once lost its respect towards me. “No thankee, sir.” with a laugh.

She was standing and holding on by the top berth where the child lay, for the vessel was rolling so. I stepped into her cabin and held the edge of the berth in the same way. — “Go please, sir, I want to shut the door.” I caught her round the waist with my free arm and kissed her. — “Leave off, now don’t, if a stewardess comes, what will she think, if you’re in the cabin?” — I went on kissing, lowering my hand from her bum, pulled her belly to mine, and gave a significant jerk up against hers. She let go of the berth to get away from me. So did I, and the next moment almost in each other’s arms, we both pitched against the side of the cabin, and nearly fell down. I felt reckless. I know now that her class never tells of such little liberties being taken with them, and recovering myself with her, gave her another kiss, poked my hand against the bottom of her belly, and saying, “I’ll sleep with you tonight,” staggered out of the cabin she slammed the door to, but said nothing to my suggestion.

I thought I would content myself with this maid, for chance seemed to favour me with her, she being in the cabin next to mine, and alone with a child not much more than a baby. But I yearned for Bella, tho getting her seemed impossible. Neither she nor her brother appeared at table, both being I supposed too ill. The storm increased, few were at meals, and after sup-per I went to my cabin. When I got there, the door of the maid’s cabin was unfastened and banging to and fro as the ship lurched, and by the feeble light, I saw the maid laying on her back in the bottom berth, moaning in all the misery of sea sickness. Her petticoats were hitched up to her knees by her moving about, one hand was hanging down outside, the other was to her head, on the floor was a basin, above her the child asleep.

The pitching of the vessel made it miserable enough—the heat was oppressive, the noise of the vessel creaking and groaning, and the roar of the wind and waves made it difficult to be heard. I stood holding on to the door jamb looking at her, and longing to see higher. Lewedness came on strong in me, and I stepped into her cabin. — “Can I get you anything,” I said twice. — She opened then shut her eyes. — “Oh! Some brandy and water would do me good. — Oh! I’m so ill, oh! I’ve never been so ill at sea before. — Oh — is the child ill? Oho my head.” — “She’s all right, I’ll get you some.” I staggered to my cabin, and from my flask and bottle, got her brandy and water, spilling half on the way. I got her half sitting up, she took the liquid and fell back on the pillow again without thanking me, scarcely noticing me, and didn’t seem to know me. I had seated myself on the edge of the berth with difficulty keeping myself there, and as she fell back I gently pushed her clothes above her knees and felt the flesh. She was in that state of prostration and indifference to which sea sickness reduces some people, that she took no notice of my hand, and the next instant it was on her cunt, which felt as if she’d pissed herself.

That roused her. She gave a cry which excepting for the tumult of the elements, and the position of the cabin door, must have been heard, and must I think in the cabin next to hers, and she sat up. “Oh you beast what are you doing here?” said she. “I thought you were the stewardess. Go away.”

“Here’s brandy and water, what’s the matter?” I had withdrawn my hand. — “You beast, to come here and do that” — and becoming conscious of the state of her petticoats, she began to push them down, — a thing not so easy when in a berth, and when they have been gradually hitched and worked up, by turning and kicking about in that narrow box. — “I didn’t pull them up, they were nearly up to your belly and I pulled them down,” said I — “Oo — ho, you story — oho give me the basin.” She began reaching. — “Oho I thought you were the stewardess, oh0000.” — I gave her a basin. Into it went all the brandy and water, and again she fell back seemingly almost insensible, her clothes still up to her knees. Again I put my hand on to her cunt. “Oh, you beast. — Oh — I’ll tell my missus,” — and she tried to get up again.

“Lay still, don’t be foolish I’ve done nothing, you don’t know what you’re saying — I’m going, don’t get up, I’ll shut your door.” Going out I did so and waited some time to see if she came out, for I feared a little that I had gone too far too soon; but in a quarter of an hour during which I watched, she did not appear. I tried her door, it opened, I fancy she’d not got out of her berth, being overcome by her illness, for there she now lay sound asleep, with her petticoats up to her knees still. I closed the door and went to my own cabin and to bed.

The next day, the sea was but a little smoother. Mary (another Mary) was all right. She tossed her head at me in an indignant manner, when she saw me waiting at my cabin door, as she came to hers from her mistress. I laughed. “What’s the matter, did the brandy and water do you no good?” — “Don’t sir, I’ve a good mind to tell my missus.” — “Tell her what?” — “What you did.” — “She wouldn’t believe you.” — “Yes she would and she’d tell the captain.” — “What did I do? I don’t recollect.” — “Yes you do.” — “Tell me.” “I shan’t, you blackguard,” and she opened her door. — “Where’s the little girl?” — “With her ma.” — “Oh, weren’t you sick?” — “Yes, and never have been like it before, tho I’ve made two voyages with Mrs. ****. Now don’t you do that.” — I gave a punch on her belly as she was going to shut her door. “Stop. I’ll show you something if you’ll wait a minute.” The bait took. I went into my cabin, pulled out my prick, gave it a frig or two and it rose proudly, then opening my door and standing well in my cabin, I showed it to her. She banged her door to.

My old instructor’s advice, advice I have always acted on, was “Show her your prick, my boy, as soon as you can.” Somehow I felt sure now I should have her. I caught her continually as she went backwards and forwards to her mistress. Waiting in my cabin, door open, she couldn’t escape. I would talk to the children when with her, and she’d always be with one or other of them, and when talking, looked up and chaffed her. I said so often “Did you see it?” that one of the children said quite innocently, “What did Mary see?” — “The big wave yesterday,” I replied.

“We didn’t, we were too ill, did you see, Mary?” said one. I looked at her. “No, I was ill too,” said she at length, both looking most uncomfortable. I did not think that such children would have noticed any remark, and afterwards was more cautious. At night when she put the child to bed, I waited her coming in, and told her I was going to sleep with her. “Not if I know it — leave me alone. Don’t, some one will see you.” This was outside her cabin door, and there was the end of that day’s work.

The next day was finer, the children were on deck with her. I played with them, and so did a young man, whom I suspected wanted of Mary what I did. The mistress I found suffered much at sea, and kept in her cabin when unwell. I progressed. Mary begged me not to speak to her before the children. More passengers were now on deck, and my constantly speaking with the maid I saw would not do. Another man then stayed with the children and spoke to her, and knowing my own little game, I gave him credit for intending the same, tho I may have been wrong. At all events, I began to think I might be forestalled, and determined on a bold attempt at once. I had done enough to stir up her lust if she had any.

Night came. She put the little girl to bed. As she came out of the cabin I caught hold of her, and with one pull jerked her into my cabin. “Oh, let me go now, I’ll call out if you don’t.” — “Don’t be foolish love, let us. I know you want it.” I pushed her down on to the uncomfortable edge of the berth, slipped my hand up her clothes, and was kissing her and feeling her cunt before she was aware of it almost. She scuffled a little. “You shan’t, now I won’t — leave me alone — I shall be wanted. — Oh, now don’t,” and so on. But the feel of her cunt by a man upsets a woman, and boldness wins a woman soonest. In less than five minutes all was settled. She was on my berth, her petticoats up in a bunt, I on top of her, and my prick working energetically till it got relief, and she got pleasure and a cunt full.

Once done, you may always do it to a woman. That is my experience. The hint of a stiff prick after once fucking it, is “open sesame” to a cunt. I fucked Mary in her own berth that night, and twice the next day in mine, and again in hers, whenever sure that the little innocent over her head was either out of the way or asleep. That little cherub had also a cunt, and in the coming time she will get it plugged. Life to her will be a blank if she does not.

The next day and night, tho when I asked her favours she always said,
“Oh, how you keep on aworrying me,” I’ll swear she got in my way as much as possible, and also at the right opportunities, for it always was when no passenger or waiter was about, when she made her appearance. I kept much in my cabin, and sat with my door open, reading and waiting for her, when lust moved me. As she appeared at her cabin door, I laid hold of her arm and pulled her into mine. She made no resistance, for she expected it, but always said, “Now don’t yer,” and gave an anxious glance towards the long passage way, to see if any one passed. In an instant my door was bolted, she on her back with belly and thighs naked, and in less than ten minutes she left with a slippery cunt.

She left in the following fashion. I went out first, and stood next to the long passage way to see if any one was coming along it. If no one was, I gave her the signal and she went to her cabin. Two steps did it, and it was always done securely. Then she made her ablutions quickly, and went to her mistress, I going to the saloon, or wherever I wished. After I first had her, I ceased to notice her or the children much, and no one I think could have guessed our little tricks, tho stewards and stewardesses must see a lot. But they have learnt to hold their tongues.

This fornication came temporarily to an end, by reason of her poorliness coming on, which it did, after I had had her three days and nights. Perhaps it was the lewedness which comes over some women before their monthlies, which gave me the chance with her.

For three days after the storm set in I did not see Bella, and having full pleasures with a healthy cunted woman, tho an unusually plain one (one of the plainest I ever stroked), I did not seem to care so much about her absence. I however made some casual enquiries; heard that she was very unwell in her cabin, and that her brother was worse. Just as Mary’s quim began to run red, Bella appeared by herself at table, and I heard that her brother was so ill that they had removed him to the part of the ship specially set apart for sick people. I could not get at the facts, for they hide such things as much as possible on board ship, but believe he had a fever, for they would not let his sister nurse him.

She didn’t seem offended with me for the kisses, which I feared she might have done but bowed in her usual reserved manner.

Immediately I made up to her, as did two or three other men, but I soon became the one whom she talked to most. She was exceedingly reserved, close as an oyster, I could not get out of her where she was going to when she landed. She didn’t know exactly herself, she said, her brother of course did, but it was to an uncle who had no children, was old, and wished them to go to him about his property and business. All was so vague and the place so far off, that I made up my mind that her story was false from beginning to end.

We had now been at sea eight days, eight days more would, weather permitting, finish our journey. — My want of female society came on, after a day rest from my labour in Mary’s receptacle, and Bella, directly my cock tingled, looked more lovely than ever. Her brother was out of the way, yet she kept so much in her cabin, or in the ladies saloon, and so carefully from anything like flirtation, that there seemed but little chance of my opening her thighs.

The next day, I helped her upstairs to the deck, and hesitating whilst I said it, remarked that the staircase showed the ladies ankles a bit, and that some of their boots and stockings might be better. “Yours are perfection.” — “Are they, then you’ve been looking.” — “Yes, and would wait an hour to get a glimpse of such a pretty ankle and,” — there I stopped. — “And what,” said she laughing. — “A little higher up.” — The flirt came out then. I’ll put trousers on with frills round my ankles.” — “Don’t, Miss *****, your trousers are quite long enough already.” — “What? I don’t wear any,” said she quickly. I laughed, then she laughed. She felt she’d been trapped into a confession.

“I often wish I didn’t wear trousers, for petticoats must be very comfortable wear, I tried them once,” said I, when we were seated on deck together. “You in petticoats?” — “Yes, I was ill once, and walked about with a night-gown and dressing-gown only on, for a week, and that’s the same as petticoats I expect, I liked the feel of the flesh of my thighs together,” and I looked her in her face.

She coloured up a little. “I must go and see the doctor, and how my brother is. — No, don’t you come, I’m going to my cabin afterwards.” — “I wish I were going to your cabin with you.” — Again she coloured up a bit and looked confused. — “I don’t, tho.” — “Don’t say that or I’ll drown myself.” — “There’s plenty of water for you,” said she laughing, and went off.

I was somehow sure I was getting on with her and that she knew I was lusting for her. I was sure she had been fucked, and that if so and her brother couldn’t do it to her, that my words would set her thinking, and thinking would make her lewed. — Many women have confessed to me that my words have set them thinking till they were wild with randiness. — Ah, that desire for pleasure when once it has been tasted! Again to have that bit of stiff male gristle, poking and plunging up and down the cunt, knocking at the door of the womb to open to the life-giving seed — were it not for that, what woman would have her cunt deluged with the gluey essence of man’s blood? And risk the troublesome consequences?

I waited in the corridor a long time. She returned in tears, and said her brother was very ill indeed, and went to her cabin, quickly. Other people also asked her. She appeared at the evening meal, I asked her to come on deck, and she did when it was dark. It was not by any means a quiet sea, but she had got over her sea sickness tho most of the passengers kept below. It got darker, I crept closer to her, my leg touched hers, but there were too many people about to take any lewed liberty. I talked her into half confidence, by expressing my regret about her brother and so on.

The poor girl I found dying to unburden herself of her grief, but for all that kept her reserve pretty well.

The doctor said the brother was very ill, he would get better, but not till he was ashore, he might have to be carried ashore, and was now slightly delirious. What was she to do? He had the money, papers, every thing, and suppose he were to die, what should she do? She spoke all that in the dusk of the evening after the supper, and sitting close to me on deck. I promised I would help her, find money, send her back to England if needful, and so on. I would do anything for a few more kisses.

I had never alluded to that before, nor had she. Now I spoke of the delight I had in the kiss, joked and said, I hope I should kiss her again. “I can’t permit it,” said she. Suppose any one was to see her, suppose it got to her brother’s ears, she was deeply grateful for my kind offer, but I must not forget myself again. “Oh, now take your hand away, those men walking will see you.” — I had put my hand on her knees, and was about to begin my old, old chaff about the position of her garters. Certainly one or two people were walking the deck, and at times came rather close to us, perhaps to spy us, for I know that watching a couple supposed to be spooning, is capital fun, I have done it so often myself. So I desisted, but got closer, and kept my leg close to hers. I felt the warm contact, and so must she, but she never moved hers away. I was thinking of her thighs and cunt, and wonder if she was thinking of fucking.

It grew darker. One by one the passengers went be-low, till at length but a couple remained, a man and his wife. The man was one who had joked most freely with me about the brother and sister. I felt sure they were watching us, said so to Bella, and suggested sitting them out. She agreed. Before long, the vessel lurched, the lady was nearly thrown down, which seemed to have given her enough of spying if such she had been doing, for the couple at once went below, and Bella and I were alone. The next instant I had kissed her a dozen times. “Now don’t, pray, you’ve no idea the trouble you’ll get me into if you’re seen.” — “Kiss me then.” She did and my cock rose proudly as my lips met hers. Then reckless baudiness came on full steam. I pulled her close to me with one arm, kissed again, and said, “Oh, come to my cabin and let us talk there. My darling, my love, I’m dying for you.” “Hish, how dare you make such a proposal.” So for a minute perhaps we talked. No, she would do nothing of that sort.

We were sitting, but both were holding on to the seat back, fearing some jerk of the vessel might unseat us — I put my free hand on her thigh whilst imploring her. She didn’t seem to notice it. Again I kissed, then I pulled out my prick (I had an overcoat on) and laying hold of her free hand placed it on it. — “I’ll go to bed, you’re insulting me,” said she, half attempting to rise. I held her from doing so. “Feel it, do, if you won’t let me into your cabin, don’t be foolish,” and I put her hand on it again. — “Oh, here are sailors coming. — I must go to bed,” and she rose. It was quite true, there were sailors. I saw her down the stairs As she said good night, boldly I said in a half whisper. — “Oh, let us be together for an hour, who would know? — I’m dying to fuck you.” — “You’re insulting me,” she said, but in such a kind tone that it told me she did not feel the insult very strongly. How I should like to experience the thoughts and sensations which pass through a young woman, when a prick has in such manner been put into her hand.

She went to the ladies’ saloon, saying she should not yet go to bed. I went to my cabin, but only to think how I could induce her. My best chance would be to get her to my cabin, but how? Restless I went out and walked in the corridor. Then I peeped out, standing in my own little passage, wondering if Mary was asleep in her berth, and knowing that Bella must come that way to get to her cabin. — All the rest of the passengers seemed in their berths. — At length in the distance I saw her coming along. I drew back, and just as she came close to my passage I stepped out. For an instant only she paused. “Come here, just for an instant only, I’ve something particular to say to you.” – “What?” — I drew her with force to my cabin and pulled her in. — “Oh now, my God don’t,” — but it was said almost in a whisper, as I closed the door and bolted it.

Then how difficult to describe exactly what followed, for altho no doubt with a method, all now seems a sweet confusion. Our voices mingling, — “Now — let us dearest.” — “I won’t, let me go.” — I had one hand now up between her thighs, she pushing it away, and alternately ceasing that, and catching at something to keep herself steady as the ship rolled, and I doing the same, till I got down and we were sitting on the edge of my berth, my fingers on a prominent clitoris, our lips joined together. Then refusing all the time, — “No, no,” — and feebly resisting, I got her down in the berth (and no man can I think get a woman down in a berth if quite against her will), and in five minutes more, we were rolling as the ship rolled, but fucking with might and main, till sweet Bella’s tight cunt grew tighter and tighter, then seemed all at once to get loose, and my prick felt as if it would push up into her womb, and then was wallowing softly up her, in our joint effusions, in a flaccid cunt.

In an ordinary ship’s berth, two people can’t lay side by side, it’s too small. A man lying on the top of a woman soon fatigues her by his weight. Whilst in the restless, never ceasing movement of the limbs and body in fucking, she feels not the weight; she very soon does when he lies heavily and motionless afterwards. I got off and left Bella lying. She modestly pulled her clothes to hide her cunt, but her beautiful limbs were exposed. I sat feeling her spermy cunt, bending over and kissing her, and making her feel my prick, till I fucked her again, and in the course of one hour fucked her three times. How quiet she now was, how expect-ant of another pleasure, how she widened her thighs, and put them up to get me a comfortable lodging between them, when rising with a stiff stander, she saw that again I wanted her.

Then to get out of the way and avoid chance of being caught, and suspicion as far as possible, I went out to the water closet, stopped there long, and when I went back she had gone. I had a good night’s repose, satisfied in body, and love with my beautiful Bella.

Next day the ugly maid Mary coolly told me her poorliness was nearly over. It was as clear an invitation to fucking as ever I had from any woman. — I now wanted to reserve myself for Bella, but there seemed no help for it, and so I told her that some man had been joking me about her, and that we must be careful, for fear we were suspected. That scared her awfully, and if it did not stop her desire for rutting, it gave me an excuse for neither going to her cabin, nor letting her into mine.

How Bella looked at me at breakfast time, and I at her, far off as we were from each other. I meant to have her again and she to let me. She did not sham. It was not “I never will again,” which I’ve so often heard from the modest woman, who has given way to her lust for the first time with me, and always does a second. On the contrary, she at once began to scheme with me, how we could fuck again without compromising her.

We arranged that she was never to lock her cabin door. I would give her a hint when I would go there, step in, and wait. She would come in a short, or a long time afterwards, as appeared best to avoid all suspicion. We did this for three days in day-time. Bella never made objection, and I think would have stopped with me fucking all day, and talking at intervals about her brother. She seemed in no anxiety about getting in the family way, but lay revelling in her saturated cunt till I left. Each night at about midnight, I got to her cabin, and left it unobserved, and thoroughly fucked out. During the day-time I now scrupulously avoided saying much to -her, and left her to the attentions of other men. That was to disarm suspicion. But as we passed each other promenading on the deck, her eyes met mine, and in hers I could read as plainly as possible, “We’ve fucked and shall fuck again presently.”

But two days before we reached port and just as I slipped out of Bella’s cabin in day-time, ugly Mary turned the corner and saw me. I nearly stepped back, but presence of mind did not leave me, and I went up to Mary saying, “Have you seen Miss * * * * *, she’s not in her cabin.” — “No, but you were.” — “What do you mean, I took her a book of mine and put it in there, not seeing her anywhere about.”

Mary tossed her head, laughed in a sneering way, and said, “Oh, I dessay yer knows her whereabouts,” and passed on to her mistress’s cabin. — I was obliged to tell Bella of this, which threw her into a great state of consternation, but the brother was still ill, and we should all be separated before he could hear anything about it, so on reflection she was comforted. But I did not go into her cabin in daytime again, tho that night I was with her till daybreak, and left without a drop of sperm in my balls.

Next night I knocked at Mary’s cabin door, for I thought it well to get suspicion out of her head, if any was there. Moreover with one of those sudden letches I cannot account for, letches which seem to spring up in me in a moment, I got a stiff one by thinking of her. She opened it. Was anything the matter she asked, not knowing for the moment that it was I. — I pushed into her cabin which was in absolute darkness. — “You go away, oh don’t, the child will hear,” she said in a whisper. — She was in her night-dress. I never spoke, but laying hold of her hand put it to my prick, knowing the quiet persuasive eloquence of a stiff one, and almost at the same time, put my hand up her night-gown on to her cunt. — In a half minute she was on her back, and my stiffstander up her. Really, her cunt felt as nice as Bella’s, I thought. — My spend over, prick still in her, — “What were you doing in that lady’s bed-room,” she whispered. — “What I told you, what could I have been doing? She wasn’t there.” — “I thought she was, and I know you’ve been sweet upon her, I heard some of the people saying so.”

Suddenly the child in the berth above cried out. — “Oho — Mary — where are you, I want to pee so.”

Staggered for an instant, I got off of her, she got out of bed and stood up. — “Here am I dear — I was asleep.” — Then she lifted the child out, and put her on the pot, then back into her berth, standing in front of me all the time, tho it was too dark for me to have been seen, or scarcely seen — and not at all by a sleepy infant. There she stood talking to the girl for a minute for she seemed timid, whilst in lewed delight I put my hand up, and felt the lubricious quim which my prick had not left three minutes, feeling scared, yet pleased with the risk and excitement of the incident. Then leaving her standing and talking, I stole back to my cabin quietly.

The oldest incidents I am convinced are taking place daily everywhere, between men and women, who are, or who are going to, or have been fucking on the sly, but of which the world can know nothing. I suppose suck risks really add to our enjoyment. Such are my conclusions, after the experience of nearly a quarter of a century of intriguing and fucking women, including all classes, from a marchioness to well nigh a beggar.

Next day we were in port. Her brother was recovering, tho he had to be carried on shore. I took rooms for them at an hotel, and a room for myself. The plan of the rooms did not favour intrigue, few of them communicating, but I got one which communicated with hers, whilst her brother’s tho next to hers did not. He was well enough to know what he was about, and what he would have to pay, tho he couldn’t walk. I saw him in his room and he thanked me. She attended to him in the day, sat with him till late, and then in my bed she passed the night, turning into her own always in the morning for an hour or two, to rumple it. At the hotel I disclaimed all intimacy with them, went out and about all day, and acted the part only of a friendly stranger, but with what success in avoiding suspicion, I can never know. I spent an enchanting week with the lovely creature.

In the cabins, small in size, with light but through a little hole in the side of the ship, nine inches in diameter, and closed generally with thick glass on account of the weather, and lighted by a small swinging oil lamp at night which gave a feeble ray (this was twenty-five years ago), in a berth where a woman could not open her thighs wide, and where a good look at a cunt could only be got by her sitting at the edge of her berth, and leaning back towards the partition with thighs well apart, I had not had a good look at Bella’s organ (nor indeed at ugly Mary’s), for she wouldn’t for some reason of her own put herself in a favourable position for inspection. — In the hotel, I got all I wanted to see and to feel. Bella’s reticence went, and she permitted all.

She was a lovely creature, eighteen years old she said, nor did her form or her cunt look more. Her limbs were most symmetrical, her bum large and full for her age, but she had none of the plentiousness of flesh, which comes on a well fucked, well fed woman, when she approaches twenty- five or thirty. Her cunt with but slight hair on it, was a pretty, little, full lipped slit, with a rather full sized clitoris, with small flap-pers. No hair was near her bum hole nor did it even come quite down to the lower end of the lips of her cunt.

The mons puffed out of her belly fatly, before the division of the cunt began, and altogether, it was one of the prettiest, most modest, yet voluptuous looking cunts I have ever seen, and its fuck was absolutely divine, and she spent copiously. I begin to think after all, that a cunt of that age is the loveliest to look at, as well as to fuck; there is nothing about it to offend, it has neither too much, or too little hair, nor is too fat or full. Yes, the cunt of the well formed, well fed woman is in perfection from eighteen to five and twenty, and I some-times think that its lubricity is more perfect than at any other period. — That certainly is less perfect in a woman of forty, or after. She enjoyed me as I enjoyed her, and as usual at the end of a week I was exhausted with fucking her. She was not. Her brother was better, and for some reason, the first thing he did was to move himself and sister to bed-rooms in another part of the hotel. He asked to see me, thanked me, and then said he could now do very well by himself; and then added “good bye” — as much as to say we don’t want to speak again. His sister had told me what he was going to do.

The last night I slept with her, I tried to draw her out about herself. I told her all the passengers had said about them, and my belief that he was not her brother. I asserted indeed lots of things which I did not believe, with the object of getting some truth about her. I made her cry at one time, and say she hoped she hadn’t made a false step, and immediately corrected it to mean her brother and self. Finding all useless, I ceased, and gave myself up to voluptuous pleasure, fucking as if I never should have another woman. After waiting a day, I went off to ****. Coming back three days after, I found they had left. I am quite sure she was not his sister, they hadn’t a feature really in common, tho alike somewhat. To get over that difficulty, she had told me they were by different fathers.

Then I returned to England and had no adventure on the voyage worth speaking about. I felt a nice girl, who was a second-class passenger, and one of a family, once or twice in the darkness of the deck, and she felt my prick. We talked baudy, but tho bursting, I would not frig myself nor propose to her to do it. She said she would let me have her if she could, but I never got the opportunity on board tho we both tried hard. — We landed at L*v**p**l, where for one day only they went to a miserable hotel. I kept my eye on her, and in the evening got her to a baudy house. I’d no sooner put my prick into her, than I spent without her doing it. Said she, laughing, but in a vexed way, “There — it’s all over.” — But I fucked her twice more before I left. Her family, disappointed with the country, were coming back to England poorer than they went. She was going to service, and had been a servant before.

I find that I said to Bella one night, “I wonder who had you first.” Crying, she replied that she had been seduced about a year before, but that was no business of mine. — “Don’t cry dear, forgive me, but I dare say your brother knows.” — She reflected for a minute and then, “He cannot know, but he may suspect, and that is one of the reasons why he has taken me away from England.” — I fancy that was a lie.