Five days’ amusement at B***f**d. • The big chamber-maid. • A sovereign promised. • A pego produced. • The superintendent on the watch. • The corridor out of her sight. • The lamp closet. • The water closet. • An uprighter. • Fucking in fear. • The servants’ staircase. • A baudy house sought. • At 5 o’clock a.m.
• An hour’s felicity with her. • Three hours’ delight in a brothel. • The chamber-maid’s antecedents. • I leave the town.

On my way back from my uncle in the North (this should have been told earlier), I stopped at B***f**d at the new hotel, and called on a schoolfellow who was now a very wealthy merchant in that town. He wished me to take up my quarters with him, but intending only to stop a day or two, I preferred remaining at the hotel, where also I had taken a strong fancy to a very big, fine, chamber maid, who attended to my bedroom.

I had not seen her when I arrived late, but ringing for hot water in the morning, and having omitted to bolt my door, I heard a knock, then the door opened, and in came with the water a woman five feet ten high, and big in proportion, yet evidently quite a young woman, with a fresh complexion, dark staring eyes, dark hair and a handsome, yet with a rather bold look on her face. Slowly she placed the water on the washstand not noticing me, then turning round she fixed her eyes on me, as if struck with me (I don’t say she was) and walked to the door looking at me all the way.

“Stop Mary,” said I, “put my boots out side, I for-got them, and ring for the boots, will you?” — I said it to keep her in the room to look at her. “Yes, sir,” said she, approaching the bell pull which was close to the bed where I lay. — She pulled it, then took up my boots, put them outside and closed the door. Her big back-side jutted out as she stooped. Belly, bum, cunt, and all her secret parts rushed to my mind’s eye instantly, and a desire for her made my prick tingle. How strange that the mere look at a woman has that effect at times.

I dressed, thinking of her all the time. — I know the class, and that they are nearly always accessible, and doubt if any chamber maid at an hotel is a virgin, tho she may not have lost her virginity in hotel service. — I have had several of them, and have rarely been refused. It is altogether a question of money and opportunity. Few of the class are really handsome, but all are well grown, strongly built, and are good firm, solid, flesh, from knee to neck.

I made up my mind to try her. It was a few days since I had had a woman, and my hard wrinkled testicles and a periodic throbbing of my prick, told me what was wanted and urged me on. I dressed, and rang for more hot water. She brought it in. — “By Jupiter you are handsome.” — She smiled. “How long have you been here?” “Three months.” “I shall give you lots of trouble.” “Very well sir.” “So there’s half a crown for you, but I must have a kiss.” — She took it, and let me embrace her easily, tho with sham re– assistance. I kissed and kissed, putting one hand round her waist, one round her bum, drawing her close up to me and wriggling my belly against hers, with an insinuating, half fucking movement. — “Shouldn’t I like to be in bed with you.” — She broke away. — “Let me go — let me go, I’m watched — it will be noticed if I’m in the room long,” said she in a low tone.

After breakfast going to my room I rang for more hot water. — I caught her, kissed, and tried the belly wriggling dodge again. — Angrily disengaging herself, “You’ll get me into trouble, let me go,” said she, “the head woman can see every room I go into on this side, and if I’m long in one I shall get dismissed.” “Come to me to-night.” “I can’t.”

The hotel was large. From the staircase two long corridors ran like the letter L, and at the angle was the head woman’s room and linen store, she could thus see the length of two corridors, but not along another connecting with one of them. This maid had my corridor and the other to attend to.

My friend called for me, and drove me off for the rest of the day. I could not help myself, but anything which interfered with my cunt hunting, annoys me. I have if possible given up anything, everything, when on the female scent, so was glad when night came, and got to the hotel. — I winked when I saw her, but she kept a quite stolid face, and I found afterwards that she was looking to see if the head woman was visible. — I rang for “Whiskey and water.” “Please, sir, ring for the water.” Disappointed I did. The whiskey went into the chamber pot.

Just opposite my room were water closets. I watched through my door ajar till I saw her, and fancied she was loitering near my room, but was not sure. Waiting, and watching, and thinking, my prick stood painfully. I crossed over to the closets, which were at the end of a short lobby, inside which I stood with the door open and beckoned her. She shook her head slightly and opened her eyes wide at me. It looked like willingness, so I re-crossed to my room, and rang. “Bring me a hot foot-bath.” “There are baths down stairs, sir.” “I want one here.”

What shall I do when she brings it, thought I — my lewedness made me reckless, and yet I was nervous. — Was she one of the “thus far thou shall’t go and no further” sort, or was she game. I took off coat and waistcoat. — She came in with the bath, I caught hold of her and kissed her. — “Come in for ten minutes only and I’ll give you a sovereign.” — It was treating her like a harlot I know, but I was reckless. — “I can’t — let me go, sir.” — Then she brought the hot water. “Shall I pour some out?” “Do dear,” and I repeated my offer. “Impossible — anything else, sir?” “Look what a state your charms have put me in,” and I pulled out my prick, rigid and flaming. Her eyes opened and she stared at it. — “Impossible, — I was never asked such a thing before, oh if we stay three minutes in any room when it’s a gentleman’s, we are marked, the old woman is always on the watch.” “Go to the water closet and I’ll go to you there.” She shook her head and went out, looking bold and lewed.

I now felt sure I should have her somewhere or some-how, and went to bed. — In the morning she brought me hot water. I had kept in bed, stiffened my penis in anticipation, and at the proper moment threw off my clothes, and exhibited my manhood. — “Stop only five minutes and I’ll give you a sovereign, — there it is on the table for you.” “Impossible,” but she lingered. I jumped out of bed, seized one of her hands and put it to my prick, then thrust my hand up her clothes on to her thighs, and I felt the motte. — “For God’s sake don’t — the door’s open, the old woman was standing at the stairs as I came in — I shall lose my place.” “Where can I speak to you?” “In the housemaids’ closet round the left,” said she struggling to get away, but speaking in a whisper. I with the cunning and tricks of my youth which I find just as servicable now at times, dropped on my knees, and had got both my hands on her backside and belly, when with a violent effort she got away.

She means it evidently, but she is peculiar thought I — and soon after breakfast loitered into the lobby round the left, and out of sight of the head woman, a middle aged, sour looking matron, whom I saw patrolling the lobbies frequently. — There I found water closets similar in plan to those opposite to my room, and next to them a door not like a bed room’s. I pushed it open found it filled with candlesticks, baths and such like, and she was sitting on a stool cleaning things. “If you’re seen in here I shall get dismissed I tell you,” said she starting up. “When can I speak with you? I’ve something to say.” “I don’t know, I never can know when she may not come, except when she’s eating; pray go out.” “When does she eat?” “Her break-fast’s at half-past seven, and dinner at half-past twelve; I dine after her this week.” “I’ll be here at half-past twelve.” “It’s of no use, I won’t let you; now pray go, that’s her footstep.” But it was a man’s. I left full of hope, after a little more talk. My friend again came for me, I wished him at the devil but went out with him, and got back about 12 o’clock, promising to be with him in the afternoon, then went to my room irritable with lust. The corridors were empty — the visitors to that town were almost exclusively commercial men, who at that time were mostly out on business, and the corridors were silent. At a minute after the half hour, I saw the maid walk leisurely round the corner. In another minute I was in the lamp closet with her.

No. She would not, she dare not. What did I take her for. — How many dozens of servants, seamstresses and others, have asked that question of me? I begged, flattered, felt her thighs with less resistance, shewed my prick, and then “here is the sovereign.” She would meet me out in a day or two. All right, but I must have her now, who would know, for the old woman was feeding. — “Go into the water closet and I will follow.” No they were forbidden to go to those closets — but at length she consented. I went to a closet first. She followed directly, and then standing up against the wall, I felt the large thighs and hairy notch, and in a minute or two, my machine was discharging the ac-cumulation of some days’ continence in that big woman’s cunt. She felt the pleasure, wriggled, sighed, pocketed the gold, and went off. — In a minute after when buttoned up, I went out and pushed open the lamp closet door. She was not there. I went to my room and washed my penis, eased and pleased, but with lust strong on me as ever — increased in fact. — Surely there will be time for another before the old dragon has fed, thought I, so sat feeling my cock, which in a few minutes rose again in full glory. — I peeped out towards the staircase, saw no one — went again to the lobby — passed a man who took no notice of me (I had purposely put hat and coat on, and carried a stick), opened the lamp room door, and there was she.

She started up quite agitated. — “You’ll get me dismissed — don’t stay.” “Go to the closet again.” “I won’t.” “Then here I will stay (and saying so pulled my prick out, I am fond of showing it now), whether I am caught here or not.” “Oh pray, some one may catch us there — I’m frightened.” In a minute or two she was in the closet again. It was a glorious up- righter, she sighed and heaved, and again mingled her juices with mine. How I longed to look at her buttocks as I grasped them. From that moment her tone and manner altered — she kissed me to go. — Yes she would be there again at 6:30 p.m., or tomorrow at the same time, for at night people were in and out of their rooms, and often went to. the closets, but not in midday. Further on was the servants’ staircase. Said she, “Wait in this corridor, look out of that window, and if I put my hand behind me, you go down the servants’ staircase — they will stare but think you have made a mistake — people often do.” Saying that, she went to the angle of the corridors and looked towards the superintendent’s room, her hand went behind her — and descending by the servants’ stairs, I got to the coffee room unobserved.

I had to dress to go to my friend’s dinner, for he had invited people to meet me. — She brought me hot water. — “You’ll have another sovereign to morrow,” said I. Then for a minute only, she opened her thighs and let me feel her cunt, and she felt my prick. — “Can you stay with me here a quarter of an hour or so tonight?” “No, impossible — but,” said she, “at a quarter-past five in the morning I could come in for a little, the old cat comes out at six, and then goes round to see if all the maids are in their places.” “But it’s quite dark then.” “Yes, quite.” “Come my darling.” “Well leave your door ajar then, and I will.”

That day with my friend, the talk got about women. Where was the best house, I asked him, to take a lady to. — “Ah, you dog, at your old tricks — how should a father of a family know?” said he — but he told me of one or two houses, and on my way home at night I called at one to make sure. — Should she send for a lady for me. She might, and did. A little one came, I stripped her, and amused myself with my fingers, but so intent was I on giving all I had to the Yorkshire maid, that I did no more, much to that little girl’s astonishment. I rang for the chambermaid when at the hotel. “A quarter past five, mind.” — she smiled and said, “all right.” “Bring me an extra candle.” — That she did.

I was awake at four o’clock in anticipation, lighted my candles, and put my door ajar. — She came in a minute. “I’m dreadfully frightened,” said she, “they turn poor girls away at a minute’s notice, if that old cat reports them.” — Then she laid on the bed — she was not quite dressed, and up to her navel I saw all. She was a splendid creature, almost too big for my taste then, but such an arse and thighs I have not often felt. Her cunt tho full lipped, was not very hairy, and whilst thighs and belly looked quite thirty, the cunt looked quite a young one. — Her petticoats got in my way when I laid on her; and so after kissing her cunt and praising her beauty, she consented to kneel on the bed, and I saw two of the most magnificent arse globes in the world, with the dark brown hairy notch pouting between, and a very lovely fuck we had, which she enjoyed as much as I did.

We played with each other’s genitals — and soon I gave her another bumbasting; this time holding her great thighs up over my arms, by the side of the bed. —”Have you spent?” said I, not feeling sure. “Why yes — isn’t fucking lovely?” “Ah isn’t it?” — At midday I had her again in the closet, and a grope at half-past-eight at night, and went to bed happily and quite contented.

The next day she had told me was her evening out. She agreed to meet me and we went to the house I had called at. We both stripped and got into bed. It was a cold November night, and for three hours I had a lascivious treat. She was a splendid creature. Her flesh was like ivory, her breasts lovely, and she fucked divinely. — I had her twice next morning at a quarter-past five, and now having worn off the novelty and fucked myself a little down departed by an early train. She kissed me passionately in my room, and said she was sorry I was going — whether it was for my fucking or my money, I can not say.

When laying in bed at the baudy house she said she was too big for service in a private house, and had been in three hotels — she was tired of it. A gentleman who often came to the hotel had asked her to go to London with him. She had refused, but if he asked her again she should accept. — She longed to see London. — “Who had you first?” “Ah, that’s tellings.” “You are fucked always on your evening or afternoon out?” That she wasn’t — very few gentlemen spoke to her, — and when out, she always went to her aunt’s who lived in the town. — She thought the gentlemen who came to B***f**d did not admire women as big as she was.

It was after I got back to London that I met N**l*e H**s. After I recovered from the ailment N*l*e had given me, an illness of quite a different class overtook me. Unhappily it was needful for me to keep to my home, but I very nearly went to an hotel instead. When I had done looking into my private affairs, which had again gone a little wrong, — and my worry had subsided, I amused myself by reading, sorting and arranging these memoirs. I referred to them by dates in my diary, and made them in their order pretty complete. I used to lock myself in my room for the entire day, and said among other things that I was writing a book. — Happily my illness was not a long one.