VOLUME 3 CHAPTER 9

Returning home. • In the church-yard. • Two female labourers. • Among the tombs. • A sudden piss. An arse on the weeds. • Torn trowsers, and a turd. • In front of the public-house.

They went off, I crossed the road into the church-yard, through its posts at the entrance to prevent cattle passing, and over which with difficulty the girls had got their barrow and baskets. It was a huge church-yard, half of it mere field; at one end the rich were buried, and there were rows of tombs and monuments, the rest was only partially filled with tomb- stones of all sizes. As I entered it two women passed me; they were tall, stout, and dusty, had very short petticoats, and thick hob-nailed boots, dark-blue dresses hung over big haunches, little black shawls no larger than handkerchiefs over their backs. They had big black bonnets cocked right upon the tops of their heads, and seemed women who worked out of doors, agricultural laborers perhaps, or perhaps the wives of bargemen, for there was a canal through the village. They had the strong steady walk, and the body well balanced from the hips that you see in woman engaged in out-door occupations; perhaps they carried strawberries to the London markets in large baskets on their heads, and they walked as firmly as soldiers.

They went past me towards the monuments, both looked at me, and they quickened their pace as they went off. I was dying with want of a fuck. “They are going to piss”, I thought. I knew the spot. We when boys, and I when a youth years before, had laid in wait to see nursemaids and their little charges turn up among the tombs to ease themselves, so I stopped and looked after them.

They heard my footsteps cease, turned round, looked at me, and walked on again. I followed slowly, they walked slower, so did I; they stopped, so did I; one turned round. “Well young man, what do you want following us?” This abashed me for the instant, but my prick standing gave me confidence.

“You are going to piddle, and so am I.” They burst out laughing, then checked themselves, and one said, “Well I’m blessed if you ain’t well cheeked young man.” “Arn’t you?” “It’s no business of yourn what we’re a going to do, — go your way, and we’ll go ours.” “I’ll piddle by the side of you, — I like doing it where a woman does it”, I replied. I was baudily reckless now.

“I’m damned !—did you ever hear such cheek I—go on young man, — or let us.” On they went, I followed; they stopped, so did I; they muttered together half-laughing, and turning their heads round every minute, — and I went on chaffing about piddling.

They had got to a spot where there was a break in the row of tombs, and a length of turf with grass a foot high, burnt up, and almost made hay in the summer sun. “I’d give each of you a shilling to piss before me”, said I. They had turned into this cross-passage between the tombs, and one could see them from the footpath through the church-yard.

“Oh ! Lord”, said one before I had got the words out of my mouth, “I can’t wait”, — and squatting she began pissing whilst I made my offer, and laughing said, “Well if ever I heard the like, — well young man, give it, — I’ll never be paid again for getting rid of my water, I’ll bet, — you do it Sarah.” Sarah said, “I shan’t.” “Don’t be a fool, take his bob.” The other looked at me, the splash of the other woman’s piddle fell on her ear. When any one wants to piss, and hears another doing it, the desire to piss becomes strong. Down Sarah squatted laughing, and her splash began, before the other had finished pissing.

I wanted to piss, but the rigidity of my prick pre-vented me; it wanted to evacuate its sperm before it got rid of the thinner liquid. I pulled it out in front of their faces as they squatted side by side, stiff and red-tipped; it throbbed, and knocked up and down in its randiness under every effort I made to turn on the water. One said I was a blackguard. “I want a fuck so bad, — let me have you, — I’ll give you five shillings.” To which of the two I don’t know, for I had no choice, one cunt was as good as another to me at that moment, and I pushed my prick towards one of them, who laughing put it aside with her hand.

“There is a chance for you”, said one to the other (they were both up then). “What do you take me for young man?” said the other, “if my man were here he’d knock your bloody head off.” But both stood looking at my prick and me. I kept on asking, and offering the money, — no one would see us, — one could watch, — and so on.

“Do you live about here?” said one. “No, I am going to see a friend at ….” (naming a place about two miles off.) “Weren’t you never up here before?” “Never in my life, — here is your shilling”, — and I gave it her. “Here is yours.” She would not take it. “Take it Molly.” She took it. “Oh! let me have you”, said I selecting that one now for my addresses.

“This is a bloody lark”, said she, “what do you take us for young man?” “Let me fuck you.” Both stood still looking at me and my prick. “Some one will catch us”, said one moving out from the tombs, and looking up and down the pathway to see if any one was near, and then came back. I had got close to the other. “Now Molly”, said one anxiously, “what are you about?” “Oh! he’s made me all overish.” “Well if you’d been three months away from your old man as I have, there would be some excuse.” “Never mind, — you won’t blab, — you stand there, and call if you see any one.” “The grave-digger will catch you.” “No I saw him right over by the church.” “Come away.” “No, — you go and watch.” And so we talked for a few seconds, but I never put my prick out of sight.

“Well”, said the other moving out of sight into the narrow path between the monuments, “you’ll get into a mess.” “No I shan’t, — I’ll let him for the lark of the thing.”

The instant she had gone round the corner the selected one laid hold of my prick. “Do it quick, — some one may come”, said she as she grasped it. “Lie down”. “No I won’t, — it’s ditry.” “No it’s dry, — the grass is quite hay.” I stripped off my coat, made it in-to a bundle, and placed it for her head. “There, — there”, I said, and pulled her down. She made no resistance. I saw white thighs and belly, black hair on her cunt; and the next minute I was spending up her.

“Shove on”, said she, “I was just coming”, — and she was wriggling and heaving, “go on.” I could always go on pushing after a spend in those days, my prick would not lose its stiffness for minutes afterwards; so I pushed till I thought of doing her a second time; but her pleasure came on, her cunt contracted, and with the usual wriggle and sigh she was over, and there were we laying in copulation, with the dead all around us; another living creature might that moment have been begotten, in its turn to eat, drink, fuck, die, be buried and rot. Suddenly she jerked up her arse, and pushed me.

“Oh !” said she uncunting me, “there is some one”, —and up she jumped. There stood the other woman. “How you frightened me”, said she. “There was no one coming, — well it’s a rum afternoon’s job this”, said she. “Don’t you blab.” “Not I.”

I had hidden my prick, but now my bladder insisted on its requirements being attended to, and I went to the spot which the two ladies had moistened, and pissed on it. The woman who had watched us fucking had dark eyes, she had looked at me without ceasing from the time I had got off from the other, and began pissing. My prick nearly at fucking size still, was pouring forth a copious stream whilst I was feeling its stem which the moisture from the other’s cunt had saturated. Seeing her looking I pulled out balls and all, and finished by shaking my tooleywag. She laughed a low laugh. “I feel all overish myself now.” Her eyes looked like fire at me, fierce, lewd. “I’ll give you five shillings, — let me fuck you too, — she will wait and watch for us.”

“Oh !—o !” said the one whom I just had fucked, twitching about, and suddenly pulling up her petticoats, and looking up them, “there is something crawling up me.” She felt up her petticoats, shaking them, and flourishing them about. “Oh !—oh !—just lift them up, and look Sarah.”

Her companion lifted her clothes. “Go away young man, you’ve had your game I think.” “Oh ! not there, —oh! it’s biting.” “Don’t make that noise.” “Oh ! it’s here, — there, — just there.” Slowly the companion lifted the petticoats, first one side, then the other, showing thighs and rump, and a great ugly crawling black thing dropped; it had crawled up her petticoats whilst she was lying on the ground. I had drawn near, and was gloating over the display of charms. “Ain’t he had a treat Molly!” said she.

This sight finished me by making me as stiff as I had been five minutes before; the other one still kept looking at me. “I’ll give you five shillings”, said I. “I’ve a good mind” said she. “Lor let him, — who’ll know?” “How stiff it is!” “Let him.” “Feel it”, said I. The woman put her hand on it. “I’ll go and watch”, said the other moving away. “I shan’t.” “Don’t be a fool”, — and she moved out of sight, leaving us two alone.

Not a word more was said, I pushed her up against the upright railings enclosing a monument; a slight stone-lodge going all round the monument put her about an inch above me, I lifted her clothes, for an instant only saw another dark-haired cunt, and drove my prick up it. She felt pleasure the very first shove that I gave her. “Oh !—oh I—did she do it with you?” —did she spend?” she gasped in whispers, looking me full in the face. “Yes she spent.”

That fetched her. “Oh ! I’m coming, — oh ! it’s a coming”, she gasped, and laid her head over my shoulder. I felt her bum and belly wagging, and a perfect torrent of cunt-liquor ran down on to my balls. I had not long began my fuck, so was slower than with the first woman, and had fetched her a second time before I had finished her standing up against the railings. Then we stood, pressing our bellies together, keeping our genitals coupled, and looking in each other’s faces without speaking, one or two minutes.

“You don’t know these parts?” said she whilst we still were coupled. “I’ve never been here in my life before”, I replied. “How hard your bum is, — are you married?” “Yes.” “Is she?” “No,-let me go, she is coming.” Down flopped my tool, and down fell her petticoats.

The first-fucked came round the corner, then we talked. I had given the first woman her five shillings directly after I had done her, and before she found the reptile in her petticoats; I forgot to pay the other. “Well young man, you’ve made a pair of us go crooked”, said one. “Aye that he have; we’ve played high jinks.” “Give us a kiss”, said one. I kissed them both, and off they walked. “Hulloh !” said I, “I for-got the five shillings.” “Lord so had I”, said my creditor, — and I gave it her.

“Don’t come our way, the grave-digger knows us, — go straight across there, and round the church.” I watched them going along with their steady step; who could have known from their look and manner, that both had just been fucked ! Who can tell the state of any woman’s cunt, whom you may meet anywhere ! I went to my mother’s, the hair on my prick was gummed flat on my belly and balls, I found I had torn a hole in the knee of my trowsers, and a lump of turd was sticking to my coat, that I had made her a pillow with, the ground must have been hard and flinty, and some one had shit in the high grass. What were the women ? — certainly not gay. Did they fuck with me for fun, for letch, or for money? I often have thought of it, and came to the conclusion that both were lewd, that my baudy suggestions made them worse, my prick upset them, and the money finished it; but that wanting a fuck was the main cause; that one whose old man had been away three months, how she looked at me and at my doodle, after I had fucked the first one !

Towards dusk I went to meet my washerwomen. Near the corner of the lane in which they lived was an old-fashioned public-house well back from the road, in front of it were two large elm-trees, beneath them seats where poor people sat drinking and enjoying themselves in Summer. I stopped and looked. Quite at the back sat the two women whom I had fucked; they had pewter pots in front of them, and recognised me at once. Both got up, and rushed inside the public-house rapidly. Funk was on their faces, they seemed to struggle who should get inside the door first. I never saw them afterwards, but at the sight of them my cock stood rigidly, and I would have had them again had it been possible. Many a time since I have been to that churchyard to look at the place among the tombs where we three had our pleasures, and my prick always stiffened when I was there. Such impromptu copulations have a wonderful charm.