My Secret Life, Volume Three, Audio Book

£50.00

CHAPTER 1

Straightened circumstances. • Promiscuous whorings. • The garden privies. • Our neighbour’s daughters. • Effects of a hard turd. • Masturbation. • Bum-trumpeting. • Seeing and hearing too much. • A pock-marked strumpet. • A neighbour’s servant. • Don’t wet inside. • On the road home. • Cheap amusements. • Bargains. • Watching brothels. • Cunt in the open. • Clapped again. • French letters, and effects. • Income improved. • Piddle in the bye-streets. • An uprighter. • My pencil-case. • A female bilker. • A savage frig. • A silk dress soiled.

CHAPTER 2

Preliminary remarks. • A dress-lodger. • Lucy. • Sweet seventeen. • An impudent demand. • A row. • The bawd. • My watch requisitioned. • Exit barred. • Bill. • Funking. • Determination. • The poker and window. • Vici. • Apologies. • A cautious retreat. • My revenge. • Lucy scared away. • Brighton Bessie. • Washing by fire-light. • Friendly intimacy. • The house in B.W Street. • Lascivious evenings.

CHAPTER 3

A change in taste. • A small cunt longed for. • Hunting in the Strand. • Yellow-haired Kitty. • Her little companion. • Oh! you foole. • The house in E…t.r Street. • Double fees. • Kitty’s pleasure. • Objections to washing. • Have the other gal. • Cleanliness. • Home occupations. • I ain’t gay. • Kitty’s males.

CHAPTER 4

Little Pol consents. • Arsy-versy. • Broached, and howling. • Kitty’s vocalisation. • A cheap virginity. • Two hours after. • Love’s money lost. • The street-gully. • Kitty pleases. • Pol tires. • Kitty’s habits. • Friendliness and frankness. • Sausage rolls. • Confessions of lust.

CHAPTER 5

Kitty’s antecedents. • The fishmonger’s. • Jim the shopman. • Betty the maid. • Females in bed. • Mutual curiosity. • Letchery and frigging. • Educated in coition. • Against the kitchen-wall. • Jim in bed. • Betty’s cunt washed out. • A look in the basin. • Cousin Grace, and cousin Bob. • Bob on the spree. • A scuffle. • Topsy-turvy. • Arsyversy. • Bob’s semen. • A masturbating duet. • Caught in the act • Kicked out.

CHAPTER 6

Sausage-rolls, and consequences. • Kitty’s home. • The little ones. • A saucy cabman. • Catamenia. • Fucking economies. • Changing money. • Pol and the bargee. • Kit implicated. • A black eye and bruised rump. • A little boy’s cock. • Preparation for travel. • Kit’s regret. • Bessie in tears. • Amusements abroad. • Home again. • Kitty a strumpet. • An evening at B.w Street. • Kitty’s eight months doings.

CHAPTER 7

Brighton Bessie. • Change irresistible. • Bessie in quod. • Lewd effects. • Spooning. • Her home. • Her cabman. • Reflexions. • Two years after. • Five years later on. • The mouse’s promenade. • Bessie disappears.

CHAPTER 8

Washerwomen. • Matilda and Esther. • A peep over a wall. • Eaves dropping. • A girl’s wants. • Shaking a tooleywag. • A promenade by a barrow. • Disclosures. • A snatch and a scuffle. • An assignation.

CHAPTER 9

Returning home. • In the church-yard. • Two female labourers. • Among the tombs. • A sudden piss. An arse on the weeds. • Torn trousers, and a churchyard turd. • In front of the public-house.

CHAPTER 10

The washerwoman’s lane. • An intention frustrated. • A slap in the face. • Choice language and temper. • A dinner in the Haymarket. • The rocking chair. • A lucky shove. • Up, and out in a second. • A quarrel, and flight • An enticing laugh. • The house in O…d. Street.

CHAPTER 11

Esther meets me. • Vauxhall. • Ex-harlot Sarah. Esther succumbs. • Big-arsed and bandy-legged. • Periodic fucking. • Matilda invincible. • I part with Esther. • Her fortune.

CHAPTER 12

Preliminary. • My taste for beauty of form. • Sarah Mavis. • Midday in the Quadrant. • No. 13 J…s Street. • A bargain in the hall. • A woman with a will. • Fears about my size. • Muck. • Cold-blooded. • Tyranny. • My temper. • Submission. • A revolt. • A half-gay lady. • Sarah watches me. • A quarrel. • Reconciliation.

CHAPTER 13

Sarah’s complaisance. • Mistress Hannah. • About Sarah. • Sexual indifference. • After dinner. • Stark naked at last. • Her form. • The scar. • Hannah’s friendship. • The baudy house parlour. • The Guardsman. • Sarah’s greed. • A change in her manner. • A miscarriage. • Going abroad. • I am madly in love. • Sarah’s history.

CHAPTER 14

Poses plastiques. • Sarah departs. • My despair. • Hannah’s comfort. • Foolscap and masturbation. • Cheap cunt. • A Mulatto. • The baudy house accounts. • Concerning Sarah. • The parlour. • The gay ladies there. • My virtue. • Louisa Fisher. • A show of legs. • The consequence on me. • Effect on Mrs. X..i.

CHAPTER 15

Louisa Fisher. • Chaffing. • Her form and fucking. • A supper in bed. • A lascivious night • Meetings afterwards. • Hannah’s legs. • Intruders in the bed-room. • Louisa’s voluptuousness. • Enciente. • Her husband. • Her gentleman friend. • About herself. • Illness. • Mrs. A…y.

CHAPTER 16

A friend’s maid-servant. • Jenny. • Initial familiarity. • A bum pinched. • Jenny communicative. • Her young man. • An attempt, a failure, a faint, a look, and a sniff. • Restoratives.

CHAPTER 17

When are women most lewd. • Garters, money, and promises. • About my servant. • The neckerchief. • Armpits felt • Warm hints. • Lewd suggestions. • Baudy language. • Tickling. • “Fanny Hill”. • Garters tried. • Red fingers. • Struggle, and escape. • Locked out. • I leave. • Baudy predictions, and verifications.

CHAPTER 18

“Fanny Hill” sent to Jenny. • My next visit. • Thunder, lightning, sherry, and lust • A chase round a table. • The money taken. • Tickling and micturating. • A search for “Fanny Hill”. • A chase upstairs. • In the bed-room. • Thunder, funk, and lewdness. • Intimidation and coaxing. • Over and under. • A rapid spender. • Virginity doubtful. • Fears, tears, and fucking.

CHAPTER 19

My soiled shirt. • Jenny’s account of herself. • Fucking and funking. • Poor John ! • Of her pudenda. • It’s sensitiveness. • Erotic chat. • Startled by a caller. • Her married sister’s unsatisfied cunt. • How she prevented having children. • Doubts her husband’s fidelity. • Jenny taught the use of a French letter. • Hickery-pickery, and catamenial irregularities.

CHAPTER 20

A Saturday afternoon. • Copulation interrupted. • Retreat cut off. • Under the bed. • Enter sister. • The new dress. • Heat and sweat. • Undressing. • Jenny’s anxiety. • Sweating much, and stripping. • Nature in its simplicity. • Nature in its vulgarity. • Delicious peeps. • A cunt near my nose. • Erotic recklessness. •Fist-fucking.

CHAPTER 21

Further undressing. • Slippers wanted. • Toilet operations. • The effects of hash and beer. • A windy escape. • Feeling for the pot.–Sisters exeunt. • A crushed hat, and soiled trousers. • A narrow escape. • My benevolent intentions towards Jenny’s sister.

CHAPTER 22

The Sunday following. • Chaste calculations. • The sister alone. • My embarrassment. • Ale fetched. • Warm conversation. • Stiffening. • Bolder talk. • An exhibition of masculinity. • A golden promise. • Lust creeping. • Baudy dalliance. • Cock and cunt in conjunction.

CHAPTER 23

Jenny’s bed-room. • The money hid. • On the bed. • Fears of maternity. • Inspection of sex. The use of a husband. • Another Sunday. • Regrets and refusal. • Resistance overcome. • Jenny’s ignorance. • Her Master returns. • Difficulty in getting at Jenny. • Her sister waylaid: Against a fence. • Jenny’s marriage, and rise in life.

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